Here's My Dollar - Now Where's My Dream?

      $370 Million...that's $370 MILLION!  Could you only imagine?  It boggles the mind.  When was the last time you had that kind of pocket change jingling around?

      For those of you who don't have much contact with the outside world, that was the amount of the jackpot in one of those lottery drawings last night...the Bazillion Million game or something like that.  Since there's 12 states involved in selling tickets, all jackpots start at $12 million.  If no one wins, the money is rolled over and the next jackpot jumps all that much more.  And when it gets to so high of an amount and the frenzy kicks in, the jackpot will continue to rise until the cut-off time for tickets sale the more people buy.  Those who have a dream stand in lines for an hour...roped-off to keep order...over 100 people deep.  And some buy hundreds of dollars in tickets...all kinds of numerical combinations they're sure is the magic formula to the life of Riley.  I know how rough it is just to try and get in on the action...and how time consuming.  I have to walk all the way next door to the dairy store, walk up to the counter and say, "Computer pick...cash", pay, get my ticket and walk back home.  If I have to wait for someone to buy a quart of milk ahead of me, I'll take the extra minute.  The money sounds nice, but I'm not about to wait longer than I would to get on a ride at a major amusement park.

      The odds of hitting that big payout are probably as big as the jackpot itself.  And there's no promise anyone is going to hit the numbers, as evident by last night's big money.  And on the other side, who's to say maybe more than one person picked the same thing and you have to split the cash.  That would get to me.  I won.  I want it all!  $185 million?  Compared to the whole thing, that's like kissing your sister. 

      There's other ways for you to win, too...and endless combinations for you to lose everything.  All you have to do is get like one number out of all that are picked...and you can win $2...double your money.  Okay, let's review this.  You pick like seven numbers and you win $370 million.  Pick one number and you win...$2.  Pick two numbers and you win $3!  Woo Hoo!  To pick any amount of numbers under the ones that win you the jackpot, and the amounts of the payouts are ridiculously low when you look at how large that big chunk is. 

      Sometimes I play, but the payout has to be worth it to me.  I like it when it gets over a quarter of a billion dollars.  I can't be bothered with lesser amounts.  As for playing when the jackpot has been won and they start back down at $12 millions, it don't even think about it.  What am I going to do with a meer $12 million dollars?  That's like a drop in the bucket.  And when I do play, maybe I'll come up with numbers for one ticket, but generally, I go with the odds and let the computer hopefully make a mistake and spit the winner out to me.  And five dollars in tickets is about my limit.  Maybe I'd go for ten it it hit half a billion. 

      Let's look at that jackpot the way it was meant to read.  $370,000,000.00  I like zero's!  Chances of me meeting Jesus are about the same...slim to none.  But what if?  What if?  Come on, you know you've thought about it, too.  What if I won?  You might have thought about what you'd do with all that money.  I've thought about what I'd do from the moment I matched that last number.  I would totally fuh-reek!  Wait, I'd be freaking so much, I need to add a couple more exclaimation points!!!  I would sit motionless for a second.  My body would go stone cold and I'd be covered in goosebumps.  My heart would stop...and then starting racing to beat the band.  I'd have to shake my head and blink my eyes to see if this was real or I was dreaming.  And I'd re-check those numbers.  I'd be doing that about a dozen times...just to make sure.  I don't know what my F.N. Kat would think of it all.  He's the closest thing I'd have to grab and I'd probably squeeze the poor thing to death. 

      There would be lots of tears and just as much maniacal laughter.  I would dance and I don't even know how to.  I'd be singing at the top of my lungs and I can't carry a tune plus I don't know all the words.  My mind is flooded with thoughts; everything bombarding me all at once.  I've got to regain my composure.  I have to call someone and tell them.  I'm going to spontaneously combust if I don't tell someone!  My best friend is getting the first call...and I'm going to lose it all over again.  He already knows I'm a raving lunatic.  A call like that will definitely confirm things.  But he's going to be set for life, too.  He's knows I'll hook him up and he'll never want for a thing as long as he lives.  And what a life it's going to be now...Party!

      Now you know I went for the one-time cash payment, which means I'm only getting $185 million.  And half of that, government fees are going to have a feast on and I'm down to $92.5 million.  It's pushing it, but I'll try to live off that pittance.  I'm not going to leave it in my desk drawer; just a little too much.  Some will have to be "invested".  I like a sure thing, so I'd probably put it in fixed rate accounts...at least make enough to pay the taxes on yourself.  I'm still going to have access to more money than I know what to do with.  Though I won't be cheap any more, up to a point, I'll still remain frugal.  Some things I just can't spend a lot of money on based on principles alone. 

      You wouldn't find me in some million dollar mansion rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.  I'd like a spacious second floor apartment with a large balcony overlooking a busy street facing Central Park in New York City.  I'd be out front all the time people watching...with the nations of the world passing by my doorstep.  And if I wasn't enjoying the view from home, I'd be watching the animals at the Central Park Zoo.  I'd be there every day.  And the nightlife in that surrounding area would get to know me as a regular, not to mention getting tickets all the time for different shows and events.  I'd have a big, black limo at my disposal at all times for my travels in town.  I'm not dealing with the way others drive.  I don't even want to see it.  I'd take a taxi, but some of those drivers are just too hard to understand.  I'm not the type to be dining on champagne and caviar, but at least I wouldn't feel so guilty about ordering a pizza to be delivered and have to tip the driver. 

      I would slurge a little.  I'd have all, nice, new furnishings; nothing outrageous or too extravagant...comfortable.  There would be a few vacation trips, but I wouldn't be flying off to Aspen every weekend...or spending time on my own private island.  Amsterdam, Jamaica, San Francisco, Hawaii...Gary, Indiana.  I have to take my best friend, Scott, there.  It's been a threat of mine for a couple years.  I'd set up education funds for my two nephews and buy them a few treats.  As for my mother and sister, I suppose they have to get some cash, too; not because I'd want to but because they'd expect it.  And a couple of my favorite relatives would get a gift or two.  I might even hire a butler; not a stuffy, formal one with a British accent; a younger, more grounded guy who can relate to where I'm coming from a little better. 

      Despite all that wealth, and some of the changes that have been made in my life, a lot of me will still be the same, old Rob I always have been.  I'll still be down-to-earth; a simple man; not requiring the best of everything to make me happy.  I won't be wear designer suits that cost $5,000.  Jeans, a pullover shirt and sneakers are fine with me.  And I'll have appropriate clothes for going out and doing things out on the city; just like I have now.  I don't need half a dozen different outfits every day.  That's Scott. I won't need all those fancy meals I 'd love to be dining on.  Forget pheasant under glass.  Grill me a steak, throw in some fries, gimme my ketchup...it's time to graze.  Plain eating has kept me alive up to this point.  Here's what I like.  Don't ask me what I want.  Just fix me something to eat...and I'll eat it; just as long as I don't have to make it anymore.  And I'll window shop like I do now.  I'll be up and down 5th Avenue, in and out of the stores, looking at everything I'd love to have and talk myself out of it because I really don't need it and have been fine without it up until now.  I'm sure I'll make exceptions to all those rules, but it won't be a regular habit.  We all do things on an impulse.

      To sleep...perchance to dream.  And we've all done it.  Maybe it's been awhile since you've thought about it.  Maybe it's just too far-fetched for you to even fathom.  Go ahead.  It doesn't hurt to have a fantasy.  Think about it.  How would you react if you won $370 million dollars?  What would you do with all that cash?  Remember, you always need a game plan...just in case.  One dollar.  The cost of a cup of coffee...as long as you buy it at a convenience store and not Starbucks.  A chance just like everyone else has.  The dreams of a lifetime could come true.  Hey, ya never know!

      By the way, I just heard there were two winners...in New Jersey and Georgia.  Looks like I should go back to bed.  That's the only place my dreams will come true...this time.