In San Francisco, CA, an image of Anna Nicole mysteriously appeared in a bowl of Golden Grahams$#153 this morning at the home of Etaoin and Sabrina Shrdlu.
Mr. Shrdlu, a San Francisco native, said that he poured himself a bowl of the sugary treat and added milk. He went to get the newspaper to give the cereal a chance to absorb some of the milk in order to reach the texture he prefers. "I don't understand all this stuff in the ads about cereal staying crisp. I like it just on the edge of mushy. I mean there's got to be a little texture there; it shouldn't be soft enough to eat through a straw. You gotta be able to tell the cereal from the milk." said Shrdlu.
When Shrdlu returned to the breakfast table with his newspaper he found a surprise. "Geez, I looked at my cereal and there was a picture of this woman with big tits right in the middle of it. I called the wife to take a look and she said 'Et, that's a picture of Anna Nicole in your bowl.'"
Shrdlu noticed something else, "The wife didn't want me to do it but I was hungry. I got a spoonful of cereal, put it in my mouth, and found that it was crunchy--as dry as if it had just come out of the box. I was pissed. There's a picture of this slut with huge kazombas in my cereal and the darned stuff won't get soggy."
Mrs. Shurdlu immediately called Gather Non News. "I knew right away that this was a miracle. When I found out that the cereal didn't get soggy I was awed. It was the kind of feeling you get when you stand up suddenly after taking a big hit on a bong. I saw colors and felt faint."
A team of experts from the University of California at Berkeley is scheduled to come to the Shrdlu residence later today. Team leader Harlan Sanders, DSc, says "This could be a real breakthrough. There are cross-disciplinary aspects of this phenomenon that we think may help us make significant progress in unified field theory."
The bowl of cereal is currently in an Argon filled container to prevent spoilage.




Comments: 21
I think it was awfully considerate of the Fates not to apparate her onto the back of an unboiled rump roast.
This is a fabulous non-story, Nippy. I'll have to feature it.
But whether the scientists find anything extraordinary or not, my heart tells me Anna Nicole is God's sent. How could her image appear so miraculously in a bowl of cereal? How could the cereal stay crunchy for so long?
Please send me the Shurdlu's address, I must visit their sacred home and witness this miracle
!
Thanks for all your support and hard work. I couldn't have done it without you.
I'm really glad Mr. Shrdlu didn't attempt to eat ANS, for he surely would have choked.
I'm off to create my Breakfast Cereal Correspondent's group, just so I can feature this.
Great article!! I'm glad to see quality writing for a change!!