I sing the body electric

 

“I SINGthe Body electric;

 

The armies of those I love engirth me, and I engirth them;

 

They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,

 

And discorrupt them, and charge them full with

 

 the charge of the Soul.” 

 

-       Walt Whitman

 

 

         My assignment this week was to focus on matters of my physical form, my body. Who can have the best year of their life and not love their body? It is our constant companion and it is the definition of life on earth. When our body ceases to be, we cease to be in a tangible form. Only the mystery of our breath maintains our current form. With this focus in mind, it’s time to give my body a little extra thought and attention.

 

         Last spring I found myself 50 pounds overweight and suffering from high blood pressure, high LDL cholesterol, insomnia and various pain including my knees and back. At times, I felt a slight tingling sensation in my left hand. I was depressed and unenthusiastic about my life. I couldn’t even make myself go for my morning walks any longer. I had turned 50 in December and I felt like I was falling apart.

 

         It had been a long year for me and I had found numerous reasons to console myself with comfort food of all types. The more butter the better, was my motto. The power of denial is incredible. I knew I was gaining weight by the insidious expansion of my waistline and worse. I never stepped on a scale. My rationale was, why spoil an otherwise perfect day? But I truly did not recognize the magnitude of one small, poor choice after another. It just didn’t seem like I ate that much more food than anybody else!

 

         My growing clothing size failed to get my attention, but the declining state of my health did. I began to reflect over my life and I knew that I was at an all time low when, in actuality, it should have been a high point for me. All of the things that I had looked forward to when I was raising my five daughters, the personal and financial freedom I so longed for was now mine, and yet here I was choosing death over life one small choice at a time.

 

         The gravity of the situation fell on me heavily. Only I was responsible for my sad state of affairs. I could no longer play the blame game and still look myself in the mirror. I quite literally stood before a mirror and looked myself in the eyes. What I saw there broke my heart. I saw a woman who thought very little of herself. I saw a woman so filled with unexpressed anger that she expressed it in the form of fat. I realized for the first time that I wore my pain for all to see. The problem was, I was the only person who couldn’t see it.

 

         I made a vow that day to do whatever it took to offer this poor, suffering woman the love she so deserved. I promised to give her a voice and find healthy ways for her to resolve her conflicted feelings. I determined that it was the least I could do to offer her the love and compassion I would offer to a stranger on the street.

 

I was talking to a friend and telling her my sad tale of woe about how fat and out of shape I’d let myself get and how limited I felt my choices were, and she said what was probably the most significant thing I’d ever heard. She asked me, “What if you are wrong?” What if I was wrong that I’d let my life slip away and it was too late to make lasting change? What if I was wrong that I was not athletic? What if I was wrong that half of my life was over? What if I was wrong that I didn’t  have any purpose of consequence? What if I was wrong?

 

         Today, nearly one full year later, it is very fulfilling for me to tell you that I lost all the weight and 5 dress sizes. My blood pressure is a low 118/ 78 and my cholesterol is 165. I feel empowered as a woman and alive. This truly has been the best year of my life already!

 

         I have gone from not even walking one mile to training for the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon this April. If you would have told me this time last year that this would be the case, I would have seriously bet everything I own that you were wrong.

         As it turns out, it was I who was wrong. I was wrong about everything I believed to be true about myself. I was wrong about the limitations I had placed on myself my entire life. I was wrong about who I was most angry with. I was wrong that I was without hope or joy or freedom or love. This is one time I don’t mind being wrong.

 

         Here is a quick run down on some important steps I took:

1.    Get a vision of what kind of life I wanted to live.

2.    Set two goals that will support me in moving toward this vision.

3.    Establish deadlines to achieve these goals.

4.    What is involved in reaching these goals exactly?

5.    What are important milestones along the way?

6.    What skill do I already have that will help me?

7.    What skills do I need to develop?

8.    What help will I need?

9.    How much time per day/week will this take?

10.                  How can I fit this into my schedule?

11.                  What are the consequences of not following my plan?

12.                  What are the rewards if I do?

13.                  BE WILLING TO BE WRONG!

It is never too late to live the life of your dreams and it is never too late to offer friendship to the person who greets you in the mirror every morning.

 

                 “I sing the body, electric!”