Okay a god of gather. Sheesh.
Anyway, I've had it with blonde jokes and I'm taking action. Don't women have a hard enough time getting any respect for their intelligence? What kind of god would I be if I let so many of my worshippers be dissed like this.
An end to it I say!
From now on, if you tell a joke that disparages any group, you have to use your own group. If a blonde tells a blonde joke, I guess that's okay, but maybe she'd better stick her name in there, too.
Here's how it works:
Hey, did you hear about the curley gray-haired god named charles who got all excited because he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months when box said "2-4 years!"
How did this get started anyway? What, we ran out of minorities it was okay to insult, but it's still okay to insult women? Oh, and union workers, it's still okay to insult them, too? Well get this - it isn't okay anymore! I'm not just talking about a smiting, I'm talking about the fiery funace. I don't care how damned funny it is, you spread damaging stereotypes, you go to hell.
That's it. I have spoken.
Oh yeah, no disparaging jokes about hedgehogs or goats either.
(Say Amen, somebody.)
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There is even a group on gather for Blond Jokes.
PS - Didja hear the one about the blonde that got fired by the M&M factory? She was throwing away all the Ws. And do you know how to tell when a blonde has been using your computer? There's white-out on the screen.
Thank you Marilee. Thy promptness is only exceeded by thy coolth.
We went to finish our taxes last night and the guy tells us that we owe the city. Big time. I asked how that was possible and he replied that he called the city and gave them my husband's info for last year and what he paid, so we now owe XX amount of dinero. I asked "What about what I paid in?" He replied "You paid taxes?" Um, yeah. Quarterly to the tune of about a grand. He replied "Well, I never thought about YOU. I'll call them back tomorrow and we'll make the adjustment."
Okay...How the hell did he not consider the fact that I might have paid taxes, too? He really made me feel like a second class citizen. At the risk of sounding all earnest and stuff....
Nanci - I didn't realize you were a Charlesian. I have to say, you have more faith in my omnipotence than I do if you think I can force anyone to shut up. I'm not a prior restraint censor. You go to hell later. (And your ticket is bought and paid for.)
I used to be a pantheist but found my knees got sore from genuflecting so much whenever I fried up a little kielbasa.
I'm afraid I ran out of Tupperware. How about a glow in the dark Zippy the Pinhead doll?
Join today, and be the first to hear my latest pronouncements!
Q: How many gray curley haired gods named charles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny!
Or this:
An Englishman an Irishman and a gray curley headed god named charles were stranded on a desert island. They came upon a lamp washed up on the beach. The Englishman rubbed it and a genie appeared.
"I will grant you one wish and one wish only," the genie said.
The Englishman says, "I wish I was back in old blighty." Poof! He disappeared.
The Irishman grabs the falling lamp, rubs it, and says, "I wish I were back in Dublin!" and Poof! he disappears too.
The curley gray haired god named Charles grabbed the lamp, rubbed it, and said, "Gee I'm lonely. I wish those guys were back!"
Poof!
Still, as a god, Charles, this does sound like a call to jihad...
I don't tell jokes (believe it or not) as a rule; I'm usually the audience for them. However, on the rare occasion when I have heard a joke worth sharing, I always remove all stereotypes from the telling. If that isn't possible, I don't tell the joke.
I'm off to join your new group!
During the early days of the recent wave of feminism, back in the seventies. I was married to a woman who made a lot more money than me. This was fine, as together we could live much better than I could live alone. So I didn't get why all men weren't climbing on the bandwagon to end wage discrimination at the very least (which in those days meant women on average made about 49 cents to every man's dollar.)
I await your further comments.
"In Discoverie of Witchcraft, a history if witchcraft written in the 16th century, the medieval period is characterized by the view that blondes, while perhaps wicked, definitely had a great deal more fun"
One More... ever wonder who the first 'dumb blonde' was?
"Disagreeable yellow hair was already associated with shame, but it was soon to become equally associated with stupidity. In Paris in 1775, a beautiful courtesan named Mademoiselle Rosalie Duthe acquired the dubious honour of becoming the first officially recorded dumb blonde"
In fact, I once saw a hair color chart of about ten shades, eight of which were called "something" blonde. The last two were brown and black. Considering this, the number of people liberated by your ruling should be quite significant.
Another curious thing: we are told that in English the feminine gender is supposed to be marked, and the masculine generic, or assumed. If you say "a customer came in" or "a resident protested" or "a motorist stopped", we imagine a male unless we have some reason to suppose it's a female. There are a few words that are assumed "probably female", like nurse, and more recently, "teacher". But why is it that two words describing hair color, blonde and brunette, are always female? Don't men have hair too? At least most of them, and for some time? (Let me know when bald men are added to the protected list....)
Back in the last century (the 20th), editorial practice in the US changed, over the course of about five years I think, from routinely using the masculine pronoun and even the word men to describe all humans. Now, of course, that old way is seen as a reactionary practice. But it's interesting to hear the reaction of younger women when they read stuff written before then. They do not immediately understand the convention of the time and read even greater sexism into texts than the texts reflect.
Marilee - has Artemis read this article?
WordzGurl - I remember the Clairol commercial that asked if blondes have more fun. Now it's almost certain they don't have as much more fun. I remember early comedienne's who created that stereotype in films, Gracie Allen, Marie Wilson, Judy Halliday, the Steppin Fetchits of their gender. (Though his contribution is being reexamined. Wikipedia says, "Fetchit parlayed it into a successful film career that actually opened doors for black actors.")
What position do important brown haired people hold?
Brownie troop leader!
Hahahahahaha!
A stick.
I laughed at the brownie joke.
Everybody behaved very well. Thanks.
I also own the group
utterly tasteless blonde jokes tomisue29.gather.com
smite away, brother, smite away!
That's just your omniscience showing there. In English the-e on blonde and brunette is clearly used for decoration, not for gender marking like in the confused and decadent French language. (And I don't think anyone would attempt to use "brunet" as an English word and expect to get away with it these days.) Blond or blonde can certainly used for men--as an adjective as in "blond blue-eyed hero". But when used as a noun "a blonde came up to me", everybody will think "woman". That's what I meant....
Bongo, your remarks about your wife and male cops remind me of a Seinfeld episode.... Is it really like that? Can you tell the cop "well waaayfaster than that!" and not get a ticket?
What's the difference between a (white male) and garbage? A (white male) doesn't follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump it.
What's the difference between a white male like me and a sewer rat? The sewer rat has hair on its chest.
Since I'm a white male, is joking about white males okay?
Aniko - you get paid for thinking about this stuff? Nice job!
Marilee - they're all under the covers surfing the internet on their notebooks using wifi.
That's the core of the problem these days. Everybody is afraid to talk to anybody, for fear of offending someone. I feel that there is nothing one can say that is entirely non-offensive. Humor and honest interaction are two quick casualties whenever a war of appropriateness breaks out. There is no better reason to do something than being faced with a proscription by a deity. I will tell a blonde joke in your dishonor, oh elevated one. By the way, I like your new suit. Or was that the emperor?
And now, a joke which makes fun of my groups...
What did the atheist say to the musician?
Hey, let's go burn something holy!
And when I say "offend," I don't mean be in bad taste. I mean insult some group that does not deserve the insult.
I'm not afraid to talk to anybody. I don't fear offending them because I take care not to cause obvious offense and I straightforwardly address any other doubts. You can have an interesting conversation if you're willing to admit your confusion. "Excuse me but I don't know if it's polite or not to call attention to the snot dripping incessantly from a Martian's nose and would prefer not to be obliterated by your ray gun," for example.
My sister had blonde streaks in her hair when she was little. Women often asked my mother if she dyed my sister's hair.
There was a relief pitcher named George Brunet who played in the National League when I was in high school.
I block confession time.
You do know that I gave up my church and reserved my place in hell to follow THEE.
Burn.
Did I tell you I was an altar boy? Back when we said the mass in Latin. Dominus vobiscum, hija. Or something like that.
Because I was in a family where the Protestants and the Catholics were absolutely right.....I got the honor to be Catholic Lite as well.....in the Methodist Church I was an acolyte.....aka female altar boy. No Latin Necessary.
AND I did get a Magna Cum Laude on the National Latin Exam in High School.
Hey....we can converse in the Sauna! Veni, Vidi, Venci.....
I require a lovely handbasket within which to go to the netherworld. I don't like those Longaberger baskets.....toooo boring yet sturdy. Maybe with a large silk baby blue or pink bow. Yes that will do
But thanks.
As do jelly donuts (since we're on existence as a property).
My husband's uncle used to pick on me all the time. When I asked him why he said if he didn't like me, he wouldn't pick on me.
I picked on our minister/friend. When he asked me why, I gave him the same answer. He came back with "do you have to like me so much?"
Thanks Charles.
One of my two best friends is naturally blonde. She collects blonde jokes and tells them like armor.