Â Â Woke up on the couch with a migraine this evening, after a short nap, and it's not going so well, so will try to write something in the morning, if I'm up in the morning.
Â Â Well, I can stand to look at the screen now, so going to try to get something on paper, figuratively,Â even if it's not the best. We have been sort of laying around doing nothing, today. It snowed a bit this morning, but it didn't stay with us. Buddy hasn't had a problem going out, as a result, and the day has largely been lazy and uneventful. Shouldn't have taken the nap, though. Woke up with Buddy on my neck forcing my head forward, which isn't usually a problem, as it's when my head tilts back I normally have problems, but something wasn't right. To tell the truth, after that, I can't tell you what Buddy did for the next four hours, as I went into the bedroom , and took meds and tried to ride it out and feel human again. I assume he laid down next to the bed, because that's where he was when I got up, but I dread thinking about what he might have been up to, if he didn't. I will have to do an inspection later. I didn't put him up on the bed, and he can't jump that high. Well, he has, but he's missed a couple times, and rather spectacularly, too, so he doesn't try it any more.
Â Â He's laying here beside me now, sleeping with his head hanging over the side of the chair. I wonder if this dog is as smart as I think he is, if he continues to sleep in this position, that has let him bonk his little head four times now. Of course, I know he thinks it's not the position, but me that pushed him, if his reaction each time was any indication. I wonder though, how that makes sense in his head, that I would do everything FOR him, and then do this TO him, for no reason.Â Maybe he's thinking back to all those rolled up newspapers, and it's not as unexplainable to him, as I think. I probably seem like some psycho entity, that can change my mood on a whim. That's sad, as he pretty much only gets spanked for carpet spoilage, but if that registers for him, I don't know. It pains me every time I have to do it (well, most of the time), but he was a slow learner on the potty training thing, and still has accidents once in a while, so unless I want to live in filth, it is necessary. It's basically the sound of the newspaper, not any real pain that gets him, anyway.
Â MORNING (early morning)
Â Well, feeling like a member of the human race again, but barely. I don't really have a big gripe today, but there are some things that have been bugging me around here I might get off my chest. You know the Budster and I are room mates, and like any roomies, there are things we both do that just bug the beejeezus out of the other guy, I suppose. In people it would be practical jokes, not cleaning up after themselves, annoying character traits, etc., and with Buddy and I, it's pretty much the same.
Â Â Number one on my list, of course, is the minefields. I bet you thought I was going to say the carpet spoilage, didn't you? Well, no, because, I'm not liable to break my hip from a little poo, but lately, as I documented, he's gone from kibble, that just hurts a lot, to bones and stuff that will take ol' dad down, and has. Reducing number and access to bones and toys is soon to be instituted policy. Either that, or I have to teach Buddy how to dial 911, and if I did, would he?
Â Two, maybe carpet spoilage, I suppose, and me having to clean up after all his incidents. I have never had a strong stomach, but it has had to get a lot stronger with this little poo factory. Thank god I have my mother's Bissel hot water carpet steamer thingy, which I borrowed when I first got Buddy, and have never given back. Without it, my carpet would no longer be blue. Bet you can't guess what is on my Mom's list of what bugs her about me, in the number one slot?! Another reason not to get her a pup, I know I'd lose the steamer. lol
Â Now we get to number three, and this just bugs the hell out of me , it's the constant fake jobs. Little dog comes over, jumps on leg. wants to be picked up, you try to pick him up, and you're snatching at air, because little dog backs out at last second, then when you straighten back up, he wants up again. It's like that joke, how do you keep a (insert disparaged group here) busy. Another example- little dog comes over when you're sitting, jumps up and scratches at knee, makes the pet me sign with his paw (all dog owners should be familiar with the pet me sign, am I right?), then, when you are just about to pet his head, he drops to floor, and you're petting air. I am so sick of that one. Immediately after you lay arm back down,.... scratch, scratch, scratch.Â Is he just getting a kick out of these, like the dweebs in jr. high that used to go to shake your hand and pull back at the last minute and run their fingers through their hair, instead? What IS that? I've been told it's a common thing in this breed, but I don't know. I think he's just dweeb material. He couldn't bug me more if he squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. Which, thank god, he doesn't, but he did use my toothbrush once, I suspect. I can't prove it, but I know the little bits of puppy chow in it didn't come out of MY mouth. And that's another thing, if he did, he could of at least had the decency to rinse it out!
Â Four, has to be the "I only listen when you can see me." attitude. This little dog has a routine he does, which is predicated on "You can't watch me all the time" theory. Grandma's is a good example. If I take Buddy out in Grandma's yard, and tell him, "Stick around", he will, but he's always looking back at you to see if you're watching. If you are, well, he sticks around, if you're not, he slowly gravitates toward the property lines, and if you're still not, you look up and he's half way to Rio by that time. No one has fences out there by code, so everyone has access to the lake, and little Buddy can roam far in no time. You have to watch the little sneak like a hawk, or you may be going for a walk half way around the lake, and it's a large lake. Rolled up newspaper may become standard outage equipment, real soon.
Â Â Five has to be the waste of food. He will hardly ever eat dry, and the wet, he's down to two varieties he doesn't just snort at. If I feed him either of those one day, he won't eat it again for a week, and he won't even eat a third of a can at a time, so now I just don't buy it anymore. I assume he's eating dry more now, or he's existing on two chicken jerky strips, a beef jerky strip, and various treats a day, plus whatever mystery meal he is always grubbing around for outside. I'm convinced he thinks dirt is a food group, and actually prefers it to the slop I give him. I frankly give up. He's got plenty of nutritious food to eat if he want's it, in the dry, so I'm through worrying about it. That brings us to number six, which should have been higher, but I forgot it till now.
Â Â Do you folks have dogs that throw tantrums? Mine does. If he doesn't get his way about anything, from better food, to wanting another treat, he will get with this program where he takes his front paws on the carpet, and tries to dig to china, shakes his head, snorts and then stops, and glares right at you, like "You got that, big ugly guy?" Yes Buddy, I've got it alright, and one of these days, you're.... going.... to....get....IT...too! He has gotten to the point where the words "Oh, you poor baby!" infuriate him, to no end, for some reason I just can't fathom, too. lol
Â Â Â Now I know what you all are thinking out there. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you've become easy to predict. You're thinking, I want to see Buddy's list. Am I right? Excuse me while I scratch at the carpet here...... Till tomorrow.
To really understand the Sagas, it would be a good thing to go back to the beginning and start from there. If you enjoy a laugh, you won't be sorry, as some of the earlier ones were the funniest, I promise you.
Links to the complete sagas starting with 1/24th by date: