I am supposed to be writing a paper today.
The Use of Sexuality to Evoke Terror in the Gothic Novel
That's what I have so far! Well, not really. I have gone through both of the novels I am to use and collected up quotes and so on ... found the places in which sexuality is used to evoke terror, in other words. And I have downloaded a bunch of reference articles - we have to use at least two.... I have many, because that's about all I accomplished yesterday as well.
I have to get something down on paper... but it's just not coming and I am getting very very very frustrated.
The computer I was supposed to be fixing this weekend is also not co-operating and I am getting very very very frustrated.
About the only thing that I have accomplished in days, really, is that I did manage to get off my arse and go for a walk last night. Now that I don't have to be home for D., thought it would be a good idea to take the dog and start walking up to meet R. on his way home from work again. I used to do that - before the hospital, and before D. couldn't be left on her own ...and we both enjoyed it.
I haven't turned msn on. Don't feel like talking. I had no patience for phone calls yesterday - none! Ended up hanging up on my youngest ... bad timing on her part, mostly. Tried to lay down and have a nap in the afternoon and every time I actually managed to doze off the phone rang. She was the third person to wake me up!
Why am I so bluddy miserable? Nothing is going right. I have so much to get done and I just can't seem to do any of it.
It's not like D. was my mother. If anything, she was a burden I should be glad to be relieved of - and I shouldn't feel guilty about that because she would never have opted to become a burden; to lose any semblance of dignity, to live with so little left. We did the best we could for her, and she stayed at home, the way she wanted to.
I am not supposed to be so miserable. I am supposed to be writing papers, fixing computers, making up for lost time.
It's just not working.
The Use of Sexuality to Evoke Terror in the Gothic Novel
That's what I have so far! Well, not really. I have gone through both of the novels I am to use and collected up quotes and so on ... found the places in which sexuality is used to evoke terror, in other words. And I have downloaded a bunch of reference articles - we have to use at least two.... I have many, because that's about all I accomplished yesterday as well.
I have to get something down on paper... but it's just not coming and I am getting very very very frustrated.
The computer I was supposed to be fixing this weekend is also not co-operating and I am getting very very very frustrated.
About the only thing that I have accomplished in days, really, is that I did manage to get off my arse and go for a walk last night. Now that I don't have to be home for D., thought it would be a good idea to take the dog and start walking up to meet R. on his way home from work again. I used to do that - before the hospital, and before D. couldn't be left on her own ...and we both enjoyed it.
I haven't turned msn on. Don't feel like talking. I had no patience for phone calls yesterday - none! Ended up hanging up on my youngest ... bad timing on her part, mostly. Tried to lay down and have a nap in the afternoon and every time I actually managed to doze off the phone rang. She was the third person to wake me up!
Why am I so bluddy miserable? Nothing is going right. I have so much to get done and I just can't seem to do any of it.
It's not like D. was my mother. If anything, she was a burden I should be glad to be relieved of - and I shouldn't feel guilty about that because she would never have opted to become a burden; to lose any semblance of dignity, to live with so little left. We did the best we could for her, and she stayed at home, the way she wanted to.
I am not supposed to be so miserable. I am supposed to be writing papers, fixing computers, making up for lost time.
It's just not working.
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Comments: 11
I don't know what my problem is, I have it all outlined. I know where it's beginning. I know where the cliffhanger will be for next month. But I just can't gather my senses to WRITE it.
I wish you the best of luck getting this paper done and working on the computers as well.
Good luck and best wishes
Give yourself time to feel, to deal with the feelings, to heal, and to adjust. You will be okay in time. And pretty soon you'll find the words flowing like mad.
For now, though, you'll just have to put nose to the grindstone and force it out. Your studies are important, and you're almost there with this one. You've done all the hard work already. Good luck!
It's what Sandra said. We have to grieve before we can move forward. Let it come, and we'll be here for you.
Gentle Hugs,
Marilyn
Do you usually find you can write best with some background music or noise, or do you need complete quiet? I know I often do my best writing later in the evening or early in the morning when things are quiet, and no one else is around. If you're tired, that isn't going to help you. You need to get some rest and clear your mind, so you can concentrate on it. Is there something you can do to help you do that...go for a walk or drive on your own? Perhaps you need a change of scenery and to get out away from everything for a little while, then go back and start fresh. Just an idea. Take care. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
I agree that you need to take some time to grieve.
As far as the assignment goes. It looks like all you have to do is sit down and do it but I've been in that same slump. I was suppose to turn in a major final paper last Saturday and I extended the due date. I now started a new class and I just can't bring myself to do the assignments. It's like I'm standing still in time. Something in me just does not want to do it. It must be in the atmosphere.