BMX babe

 

Several years ago, I was experiencing a dry spell.  I had broken up with a boyfriend (thank God), and had no real prospects for several months.  I was enjoying my time alone, but wondering when I would meet that special someone.  I did not feel like actively looking.  I figured that the right guy would just happen upon me like usual. 

My son's best friend was from a family that was very different than mine.  They were what Walter calls "ruralsexuals" or "trailer trash".  My son liked Ricky despite it, and so I forged a friendship with Ricky's mother.   She was at least 400 pounds, no teeth, and a bit of stench.  In fact, one time I had just finished eating a tuna sandwich, when my son came home.  He asked with a turned up lip, "What is that smell?"  He explained further, "It smells like Cheryl." I told him the source of the offending stench, and assured him that it was not I.

I had been at their house to pick up my son one day.  I sat at her kitchen table, while she smoked one cigarette after another.  She had just finished making fried chicken in the most disgustingly dirty kitchen that I had ever seen.  There was garbage all over the counters table and floor.  There were dishes piled high in the sink.  Her daughter came out of the closet literally, because that was her bedroom to snatch a piece of chicken and go back to her "room".

We sat and talked for a while to catch up on what the boys had been doing.  Despite her obviously lacking domestic or hygiene skills, she was a nice woman.  There was a bit of a commotion, when her husband came home with a drunken friend.  I introduced myself to Manny, and he sat down at the table with us.  He set down his 12 pack of Bud, and reached in to grab another.  He took a long pull of his beer, and offered me one.  I politely declined.  He spoke Spanish, and his English was limited.  I learned through a stunted conversation that he was crying in his beer, because his wife had kicked him out.   I decided that I better grab my son and get out of this trailer park, before the party started. 

Several weeks later, I was doing yard work in the front yard.  It was a nice day, and I enjoyed the time pulling weeds, and watering the yard.  Passing neighbors waved, and the kids on bikes stopped to say hello.  I was just finishing up, when to my complete amazement Manny rides up on his child sized BMX bike.  I lived a good 15 minutes by car from Cheryl, and wondered just how far he pedaled to find me.  His knees had to go way out to the side to pedal it, and it had to be difficult.  He had a 40 in a paper bag, and took a drink.  Being the gentleman that he was, he offered me a drink.  After my hard work, and nice cold beer did not sound so bad, but sharing a 40 with Manny somehow did not appeal to me. 

Manny gave me this big smile, and batted his eyelashes.  He was apparently smitten with me, and had come a courtin'.  We made a bit of small talk in his broken English, while I continued to water the yard.  He stammered a bit and finally asked if I wanted to go to the ranch with him.  He was a ranch hand, and wanted me to come see the bulls.  Hmmmmm.  What is a girl supposed to say?  I just visualized Manny giving me a ride on his BMX bike, while I held his 40 on the way to the ranch off into the sunset.   I had to let him down gently.  I told him that I was in a relationship, but I certainly appreciated his offer.  Manny did not give up easily.  He said that he would make a picnic lunch.  So now we are on the too small BMX bike with a 40 and a picnic basket riding off to the sunset.  Again, I had to politely decline.  He had to give it one last shot.  He told me that we could take the kids and make a day of it.  The kids would love to see the bulls.  Now Manny and I are on the too small BMX bike, holding a 40, a picnic basket, and pulling my kids along off to the ranch in the sunset.  I told him that I was sorry, but I did not think my boyfriend would appreciate it.  He said that he understood, and asked if I could throw away his now empty 40.  He started to ride off into the sunset weaving a bit, and turned around to wave.

I rolled up the hose, threw away his 40 and wondered if it was time to register for eharmony. The prospects were not looking good.