This Too Shall Pass

Happened to catch a segment of an All Stressed Out contest on ~my~ talk radio station today .... one of the themes of the entries from this week was caregiving.... seems many of the people who entered are part of the sandwich generation - much talk about taking care of people with dementia &/or Alzheimer's.

 It got me thinking about things that I would have liked to tell them....

Couldn't call in  - I don't do that...I'm a listener, not a caller....and besides, right now it's all still too raw. No way I could have said what I wanted to say without crying. Writing is easier - no one knows if there are tears when you write.

One of the things I would have told them if I could is not to listen to the people in the support groups - at least the online ones I visited.

Often - in a misguided attempt to encourage people to plan better - people will tell you that 'this is as good as it gets' or 'it's only going to get worse'

I preferred to hang on to the thought that - because of the nature of the disease - this too shall pass.

People who have Alzheimer's all experience things differently. There is no chart, no timeline, no way to predict.... but because it is progressive, the one thing that all people with AD will experience is change. And while it is true that it is a disease of loss, of deterioration, it is highly unlikely that - overall - there is going to be 'improvement' -  in some ways, that process can be a good thing. It means that whatever the person is doing right now that is driving you up the wall is going to change.

Eventually, s/he is going to stop repeating the same question over and over. Eventually, s/he is going to stop throwing things that don't belong in the toilet in there. Eventually, they will stop wandering - they won't be able to.  Eventually, they'll forget how to take their clothes off, and you won't have to deal with naked. This - whatever this is that is hard to tolerate or to manage - is going to change.

Can I guarantee that it's going to get better? I wish...but it will get different. And sometimes the losses lead to increases in terms of coping and managability. There is, in my opinion, nothing to be gained by focusing on the negative. This too shall pass.

Can I guarantee that you'll miss the very things that drove you nuts when they're gone? *SIGH* I do.

It is so very, very quiet.