GNN: Expected Non-events in Local Apartment Complex

Almaeda*, CA 

Monday the 18^th, President’s Day, our reporter was on duty at an address on Shoreless Drive, in an apartment complex known as “The Hovel”, when a very expected thing occurred. Completely unsurprisingly, all the dryers in the first floor laundry room were taken and she was forced to investigate on the second floor. After taking an electronic conveyance device with an expired inspection certificate—something she affirms she normally does not like to do but is at times unavoidable due to the recurrent unsatisfactory situation regarding heavy loads of laundry and the frequent use of the first floor laundry room by other unreasonable residents—she has determined that the second floor dryers were indeed quiet and apparently not in the middle of a drying cycle. Closer inspection revealed, however, that one of them contained a load of dry and already completely cold towels. She may or may not have uttered some indistinct words of disapproval at this clearly irresponsible behavior by a fellow resident before she proceeded to remove the contents from said dryer.

She reports that as part of the removal process, she folded the towels and placed them on top of the dryer in question. It isn’t entirely clear why she did this. “I don’t know why I folded the towels,” she confides. “They just looked like they needed a little folding. Sad, forgotten little towels—you know?”

An hour later, when our reporter returned to collect her reasonably dry laundry, another resident—Caucasian male, 25-30 years old, about 6 feet tall—entered the same laundry room. He grabbed the folded items and proceeded toward the door. On reaching it, however, he turned around and inquired whether our reporter, occupied at the time with an undetermined though verifiably uneven number of children’s socks, had been the one who had folded his towels. Our reporter confirmed that indeed she had.

“He said thanks,” our reporter recalls with a smile. “It was quite a pleasant surprise.”

The man informed our reporter that it was his wife who had unfortunately forgotten the towels in the dryer. We have not been able to verify this claim, but in the interest of good neighborly relations our reporter assured him that this was not a problem and could in fact happen to anyone. The two parted amicably.

The situation in the laundry rooms of “The Hovel” continues to be of no concern, and we will be watching this non-issue closely.