new poem 1

nice start

thanks

IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT YOU ARE WRITING AGAIN.

thanks.

Just wish i could get more feedback.

yay feedback would be nice wouldn't it?

I think its amazing because I FELT from this and to me that is what any form of writing is all about. To me, if one writes and the reader can take even one line from what you write and relate to that then you have done your job. You write first and foremost for yourself and then reel it out there hoping someone will grasp what you are trying to portray and even if they do not completely relate, hope they can at least appreciate what you are trying to say.

In a simple short form, you have done a beautiful job. You use no more words than need be and your message is quite clear. Metaphor would be a nice touch but I look at this type of write as what i call a "rant" and a very nice one at that.

Take a look at the post by Ed N in here about metaphor and exercises and submitting.

Very nice Rox.

Thank you, Susan.
You're words are very helpful :D

add this to more groups...would like more opinions, if possible. Not sure if it's finished yet, if I'm really satisfied with it(but I kinda think I am).
Thank you.

In agreance with Susan there , , , as this piece speaks

thank you

I can feel your emotions in this poem. The word "just" may not be needed. Sometimes it weakens writing. Your ending is strong! Keep on writing.

thank you Trish...I'll try not to use it as often :)

I'd like to see you write more poetry, Roxy, this was good.

Roxy, I respect you for putting your heart and soul out there. If you're truly interested in more feedback, I'd be willing. But I'd feel more comfortable doing it privately. x tame

Very well written Roxy lot of feelings shown ......

..So true that words disappear
but do appear some where...in fragile places
where it matters most..so how much more
careful we need to be in what we say and do?
to leave no traces...in fragile hearts.