To a wondrous place of unobstructed view,
His beloved, where misty vistas always clear
And all things seen are gloriously new . . .
Hopeful, points Beloved to a place
Upon her suitor's continental view
So both can know the grandeur
Of new love they've now imbued . . .
Sanguine, clasps of hands thus held,
With eyes in common vision locked,
And hearts that beat a rhythm, true,
For life to fill as coupled joy, unlocked . . .
As far as eyes can see,
As far as minds can reach,
As far as any love can feel
On a journey of this kind . . . as one
Copyright 2007 Jim Ross
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Comments: 30
"again" perhaps and another "TIME" kids or teens, and who would ever believe TOTS? Perhaps even at times of "human" form again. Quick, bring the holy water, these newborns are in display of indecency! And, juist in case of evolution, put extra bars on the windows, unleesss the next one flies out the window.
Your comments make me want to write more, Dawn M and Jennifer G. :-)
I appreciate hearing that, Dawn "Texaspoet".
Dan, my enigmatic friend, its always nice to see your ballcap grace my work. Thanks. :-)
We never forget, do we, Cindy, that sense of wonder.
My pleasure, Larry.
I agree, Jennifer F--completely!
Not yet, Ruth, but organization has begun. Your sentiment is music to my ears. Thank you.
I am not versed, so to speak, in poetry. I liked how the metre changes in the fourth verse. Is this a convention or a break from convention? The first three so beautiifully classical, the fourth, breaking out in something new...like a launch into a beatific vision. The first three about the languid enjoyment of shared vistas, the fourth like their climactic encountering of transportive union. Jeez, how can you get at all this with your words and lines. It is so fine.
Hi, David--You throw the gauntlet down nicely; for the most part I will rely on my scholarly poet friends out there to answer the technicalities. The following is simply my reasoning for the techniques I chose to use in this poem:
The changeup from rhymed verse in the first three stanzas, to the last and unrhymed stanza, was created to emphasize the character's epiphanies about their fledgling romance. I felt that the "as far as . . ." repetitions acted as punctuations on what the lovers learned. When I attempted to put what they learned into a rhymed closing stanza, it lacked conviction. Perhaps that is just my shortcoming as a poet; I don't know. Your choice of the word, "beatific" is insightful; the inner glow the lovers feel, that their love has been blessed by something greater than self is also served by the last stanza. Good choice, bad choice--my readers get to make that pronouncement. I made my choices with trepidation, knowing it worked for me, and hoping it would work for others. I am constantly experimenting with rhythm as it relates to meaning, and, as the saying goes, "sometimes I win, sometimes I lose." I am thrilled that you like the work; moreover, your cogent, insightful comments tell me I am achieving what I set out to do. That is very comforting. Thank you.
Hi, Mark--Thank you for that.
So both can know the grandeur
Of new love they've now imbued . . .