Looking back to the year when I was only 15, it seemed that we were always surrounded by friends, family or classmates. Sometimes it felt so suffocating, I'd just want to run away with you, my love. Do you remember? We planned it all out.
We told our respective parents that we were each going somewhere else; me to a sleepover at a friends house and you were going camping. You saved up your allowance and made reservations in a fake name at that nasty motel on the outskirts of town. You weren't very creative, as we were Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, like the movie and we weren't married either! Shades of Simon and Garfunkle.
We both packed small duffel bags for the weekends we were supposed to be somewhere else. Our parents, never having had any reason to distrust us, agreed with our respective plans. Did you feel the guilt that I did?
You checked us into the motel as you were a little older than me, though the bored desk clerk acted as if he didn't care. We went up to our room, and finally, we were alone together. I never expected to feel so shy and you looked like you felt the same way. Alone together didn't seem to be all that it was cracked up to be.
Maybe we were just too young? I didn't know where to look and you turned on the old TV and started flipping channels. I was going to unpack my clothes, but something stopped me. I looked at you and you returned my look. Our looks were full of guilt and embarrassment, as after all, we were basically good kids.
I knew at that moment that we didn't want to be alone together and that we just wanted to go home. You knew it too -- I could see it written on your face. After a few words, off we went, no longer wanting to be alone together as the time for us wasn't right. Home seemed like a wonderful sanctuary as I walked in the door with you trailing behind me. We told our parents that we'd changed our minds about going with our friends and that if it was OK, we'd just hang out at my house. They seemed fine with that.
Looking back, after 3 children, 5 grandchildren and being married for over 35 years, I think we made the right decision. We know each other so much better now and being alone together is our security, filled with love and memories.
mn - 2007