Waiting for JOY

awesome

another tale of love .... beautifully written ....heartfelt pain and glory of the eternal bliss..its really a blessing to be in Love

Incredible! I felt it all, this is featured on the group, First Time Writers
or
http://firsttimewriters.gather.com/
with thanks,
Marilyn

I think it would be easier to follow if you broke it up into stanzas, and I think the protest movement against the capital "I" for self is over -- i am taken as a personal presence not an object although unnamed in small "i". {p.s. I hate that arial type makes a mockery of the i}
I wish'd you here
to share pieces of m'heart
you so lovingly collect
and hang upon the walls
of your own
to tell you m'tales
of elusive love
and anchor'd wisdom
taught in your absence

I found m'self
wondering again
all the minutes that passed
with my hand over your heart
and your hand covering mine

"I love you, no matter what"
spoken
without
a
word
and i felt your heart
calm from fears
of an unknown
destination

we share'd our wonder
and after a minute
or two
silence
it echoes
this chasm between
your heart and mine, I

fill it with tears
and laughter
that long to
mingle with yours, I

look up at the stars
and wonder which one
to wish upon
again and again. Will I
see you again?

With childlike faith
what you bore on,
your shoulders
and later, led to rest

I give you my heart
since words no longer
hold meaning
and actions
are complete
here in this abyss
of silence we cannot
share
any
more, and

I know you
are
watching each second
draw me closer
to an answer
i hold dear
i'll see you soon Nifty

This is very touching. From my perspective, it is a ulogy. Sounds like the loved one has died.

Thanks Doug... I'm going to mull over your "take" on this. it was written years ago --- but it does need some tweaking. I really appreciate all the feedback I can get. Please keep it coming!

I dig the pace of this one.

"
all the minutes that passed
with my hand over your heart
and your hand covering mine
"I love you, no matter what"
"

That bit has a nice rhythm to it. Then it slows down:

"
spoken
without
a
word
"

The way you've represented this kind of rhythm is great! It's like a conversation that's both flowing and tense.

Nice job!

yes marilyn --- this one was for my Pop. he passed away three years ago. miss him lots.