I fear I have somewhat of a split personality here on Gather. On the one hand, I enjoy well-written articles and try to make my own (modest) contributions to the stock of "not just horrible drivel" articles. On the other hand, I am addicted to games and to email forwards (at least ones I have not seen more than 20 times). I try to submit thoughtful pieces, even if my writing does tend to focus on my toddler's fashion choices or my aging angst. But, I am not ashamed to say that I pander for points. That being said, and with winter heating costs going up, up, up and my appetite for new books (and Omaha Steaks) not going down, I am now officially selling out. This article is written solely to cash in on trends, or at least what I've been informed are trends and what I've been able to glean from my not-to-observant observations.
First, Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. (And, to appease Jackie L., Severus Snape). Harry's a big trend right now, and I don't want the Hogwarts point express to pass me by (and I don't have a flying car so that I can catch up later). (Well, there was that incident a few years ago with our Mazda, a speed bump, and a hair appointment that took two months to schedule, but I won't go into that now). Anyway, my contribution to the Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Severus trend is:
I think Neville Longbottom will play a big role in the upcoming novel.
There. I've said it. Let the comments begin! I know it's a controversial stance, but hey, I'm not shy of wearing my convictions on my sleeves.
Second, penguins.
Yes, penguins.
Even the New York Times has remarked on the popularity of penguins in advertising . I don't know what I can add to the trend, except that it's so cold in New Jersey right now that I expect penguins to replace our neighborhood skunk, but I am not one to pass up a trend. So here it is.
Penguins.
Third, fighting terrorism by cracking down on cartoon characters. Boston's police department has shown the world that being tough on cartoon characters is the only way this menace can be controlled.
What's next? A diet for Cookie Monster?
And finally, I will take the radical step and dabble in trend fusion.
Severus Snape with a penguin terrorist, in cartoon form.
Let the points rain down!
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Comments: 36
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
But I applaud your efforts, and grant you the points you so richly deserve (San Dimas High School football RULES!!!!!!).
And for what it's worth...I've been a penquin fancier longer than you can probably imagine! ;-)
Mr. Poivre seems quite formidable.
Perhaps a movie about a penguin secret agent/wizard who fights terrorism, is a master of the martial arts, and plays Baccarat. He needs to bankrupt Al Qaeda by hosing Osama bin Laden at the Baccarat table at an Indian casino in Chula Vista, CA and goes through moral agony deciding whether or not to cheat by using magic. The penguin has a French chimp sidekick who's a handy ape to have around in a pinch--he's a savate master--but isn't well socialized. The penguin is constantly having to get the chimp out of zany scrapes. E. g. the chimp, in the typical French chimp style, becomes fixated on one of the wives of one of bin Laden's henchmen and makes indecent proposals that aren't well received. After the chimp rips the henchman's left arm out of its socket and stuffs it down his throat the penguin has to intervene fast. The suspenseful finale at the Baccarat table is not to be missed.
"Neuf a la banc."
Nippy, I am waiting with bated breath (eating fish again!) for the final scene. I didn't realize that chimps or other monkeys were part of the latest trend, too, or I would have cashed in on them as well.
I've got to sell out more often. The comments are much better than my article!
Jackie, I think an orangutan would only wear a beret if you were wearing one too...and maybe not then. Chimps, though...that would work. Or we could get some of the gorillas from Nippy's No Chimps Allowed Film Festival.
Penguins, look out! Orangutans are the latest in creatures now.
Lydia, perhaps the orangutan was unimpressed with the breakfast menu. What was served?
Years ago there was a series on PBS about a zoo hosted by Gerald Durell. One episode was about orangutans. Apparently they are very keen escape artists. Orangutan enclosure design is very similar in strategy to a maximum security prison except it has the additional constraint that humans should be able to see the orangutans and not feel like the poor apes are in jail.
I can imagine having to have breakfast with creatures about which I cared nothing -- I think I'd probably give a look similar to the orangutan's. I'm not a morning person, or any kind of morning primate.
Maybe everyone was just hoping for pancakes. . . .
great article i rated it a 10