Search Continues for Arkansas Mamma Who Walked Out of the Booger Hollow Jail

Search Continues for Arkansas Mamma Who Walked Out of the Booger Hollow Jail
By Daisy Mae Loon
Booger Hollow, Editor

Booger Hollow, AR - Judge Lynch, Deputies and Sheriff Hogg are continuing to search for Arkansas Mamma, who apparently, with the help of accomplices, vanished from the confines of the Booger Hollow Jail last night.

Booger Hollow Deputies were called to the recently constructed “Sam’s Club”, after Arkansas Mamma’s debit card came up “unapproved.”  At which point Arkansas Mamma nicely asked the clerk to rerun the card. “Nothin’ doin”, the clerk sarcastically said, “tough luck, you’re gonna have to take everything back.”  “Hell no!” yelled Arkansas Mamma, “Page one of those stock people who are being paid minimum wage, with no benefits, that’s what they’re paid to do!” 

Bubba Clinton, store manager, stated, “That woman was outta control! She was disrupting the customer’s line, first staring at men’s butts, holding up sales and then started ranting and raving about her debit card. We knew if HQ’s in Bentonville found out, they’d pull the rug right out from our Booger Hollow store.  We had no alternative but to alert the authorities.”

“Arkansas Mamma was booked and charged with several counts of “Malicious Mischief in the 1st Degree,” said Sheriff Hogg. “She seemed accepting of the consequences of her actions, and was bright and cheery when her friends, Randy, June, and Adele showed up bringing gifts of a Starbucks Latte, sardines, and Twinkies. Little did we know, they were part of the jail break conspiracy, until after she was gone and we found the hooch laced latte and fingernail file stashed inside the Twinkie.”

She somehow obtained one of the pink and white correctional officer's uniforms, a duty belt, pepper & salt spray and ammunition from a storage room at the Booger Hollow Jail and walked out the front door, past Ima and Ura Hogg, the dispatchers and daughters of the Sheriff. The confused girls stated they were watching “Prince”, during Super Bowl half-time, and were totally oblivious to Arkansas Mamma’s escape.

Arkansas Mamma allegedly walked about fifteen blocks and stole a car belonging to a handicapped Snot Hollow woman. The rusty gold 1976 Ford Pinto, with no tailpipe, has handicapped license plates HCAP 666. The victim was unaware her car had been stolen until she was contacted by deputies Monday morning. She told deputies the car contained two unopened liters of Jim Beam and two bags of compost manure, one of which was open.

It was also reported at 8:56 a.m., Monday, a Skunk Creek area resident went to check on a delapitated mobile home belonging to his son and reported finding the door open and someone asleep inside. When confronted, the slightly disheveled woman fled. The man told Deputies she fled northbound on Horsebarn Road, in a rusty gold car with HCAP 666 license plates.

Sheriff Hogg said that Arkansas Mamma has never been known to be violent in the past. He described her as being a white female, 5-feet-8 inches in heels, wearing blue jeans and red handkerchiefed tube top and weighs 135 pounds. She has short blonde hair, big buzoombas and sparkling blue eyes.

Hogg would not comment on the escape except to say that procedures at the jail will be reevaluated.

Information on Arkansas Mamma’s whereabouts should be reported in the comments below, or to the Booger Hollow Sheriff's Department at 555-1212. Collect calls will not be accepted, it’s your dime.