DROID

The Random Global Consortium (RGC) is pleased to introduce the newest member in their suspect organization: Dirty Rotten Organic Illegal Drugs Corp (DROID).

Unlike ordinary drug dealers, DROID provides only pure, natural, and organic illegal products. Look for their well known brand mark-the immaculate needle-to be sure you're getting the finest and safest illegal poisons.

Although you might question the inclusion of a legal product such as the Cancer-Stick brand of organic tobacco products in the DROID line up, rest assured, as DROID sells cigarettes, cigars, and chewback to small children as well as adults, as it does with Moonshine, its line of 100% pure ethyl alcohol beverages.

For the cleanest and most organic marijuana, pick T-Bud. Don't settle for artificial, manufactured LSD when you can go psychotic naturally with ERGOT all-natural hallucinogens, nor can you find a cleaner, more unwholesome product than Magic organic mushrooms, endorsed by Carlos Castenada and his imaginary friend Don Juan.

You can be sure that Pure Line cocaine and heroin are produced from the finest hand-selected coca leaves and poppies from certified organic fair-trade farms in Columbia and Afghanistan.

If artificial is your bag, never again settle for dirty, impure products from dirty shacks on the edge of town. Instead turn to the reliable substances from Clean Room product line manufactured in clean, sterile labs on the edge of town, surreptitiously installed and supervised by engineers just like the ones who design and set up the immaculate microprocessor labs at companies such as Intel and Micron (except these are engineers who are out on parole for drug habits picked up while they were students at schools such as MIT and Duke). Clean Line brings you such outstanding products as Crystal methamphetamine, DustyAngel TCP, and Rave! Ecstasy. To keep your precious little ones occupied, as they crawl on the floor of your crib, depend on DROID'S gentle Glu-Stick and Spray-Paint lines of children's products, provided in our patented easy-open child-friendly containers.

Wherever vile toxins are sold under the counter, in the back alley, and by the school yard fence, DROID provides perfection to your connection. As our guarantee proudly ensures-SURE IT'S PURE!