I found my diary from 6th grade in a box of things that you just can't thow out. It is one of those with a lame lock that your brother knows how to open, so I don't know why they bother making a key. It was so hilarious. I had a crush on the teenager next door. His name was Josh and apparently he was a FOX!! I was 11 and thought that if I could just get his attention, that we would fall madly in love.
Dear Diary: March 6
I didn't see Josh today. It had to be a drag.
Dear Diary: March 7
I saw Josh today. He is such a fox! Softball practice was fun.
He was blonde, blue eyed, 16 and rode a motorcycle. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, I thought so. I was continually trying to get my friends to see what a fox he was by peeking though the fence, when he mowed his lawn. He would sometimes do this without a shirt. I was having trouble getting a glimpse of him for my friend Carol. She had come over to my house to peek out the window, when he was supposed to ride home from school. She always seemed to miss Josh sightings, so we had to devise a plan. This is the God's honest truth.
Hmmmm what could we do to get him to come out of the house? We came up with a brilliant plan. We were going to need some props. I got one of my Mom's wigs (they were the fashion). I got one of my Mom's bras, several wash clothes, oranges, tissues....yes my mom had big knockers. We found an appropriate outfit for Carol to wear, stuffed the bra, and had her outfitted with the appropriate accessories and make up. She looked absolutely fabulous! Believable! The oranges were not too lumpy. Yes, I was convinced that she could pull of being an encyclopedia sales person. We just need to get a sample. I pulled off the "C" section of our World Book Collection, and off she went.
She went next door, a little wobbly on my Mom's heels, ready to sell Josh an encyclopedia. I hid behind a car in my driveway, so I could watch the action unfold. I was thouroughly convinced that Josh would love to buy one! She knocked on the door, and we waited. Josh must of been in the back room. She knocked again, and.....his mom answered the door in her housecoat!. Carol, being the wonderful salesperson that she is, began to give her pitch, "Would you be interested......". Then she chickened out. She took off running, while his mom looked at her in disbelief. She was running as fast as she could on my Mom's heels, and the oranges are bouncing up and down, hitting her in the face. She continued to run even faster past my house, running down the street as oranges flew left and right. I was chasing behind her dodging oranges.
We sat on Mr. Chapman's lawn a few doors down. We were totally dejected that Josh was not there to buy an encyclopedia. If he had just come to the door. We walked home, picking up oranges on the way, and were trying to devise another plan to get just another glimpse of that fox!
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Comments: 31
Cornina,
I have no idea what he is doing now. I did run into him when I was about 22 on a date. He said, "my, my, you sure have grown up!" Somehow he didn't have the same appeal as when I was 11. The way I figure, he had his chance, you know?
Thanks.
Sorry for keeping you waiting Tamara. I had to reboot. I will catch up with you soon.
My best laugh in many days!!
Thank you Terry with a blue bowl on your head. I really enjoyed your story about Mean Jokes. It was very moving, and I am really honored to be connected with you.
(But I am wondering why it wasn't YOU there knocking on the door?)
This is so funny! Y'all were on the brave side.
I have a series of articles I'm doing, as well, called Dear Diary.
It would make a good hilarious scene in a movie, for sure.