NEW YORK. Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor, better known as "Prince" Charles, left tongues wagging among pro basketball scouts after a private work-out in Harlem today.
Parker Bowles: "Now dribble with your weak hand to show them you can go to your left."
"He's Heir Apparent to the British throne," said Danny Ainge, Executive Director of Basketball Operations for the Boston Celtics, "but he's also heir apparent to a long-line of flat-footed white players such as Hank Finkel, Greg Kite, Eric Fernsten and so many more." The Celtics, who are headed towards one of their worst seasons in franchise history, will almost certainly have one of the first picks in the college draft next summer, and are believed to have their eyes on Charles, who hit one of two open shots he took at the Children's Zone here.
"You mean Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor counts as four picks?"
"He plays taller than he is, because he's got such an incredible vertical leap--zero on our radar gun," Ainge said. "His first shot was an air ball, but he made his second. My Hewlett-Packard Programmable Calculator tells me that's a 50% shooting average, and you can't argue with statistics."
"I've got a foul on number 11, blocking a Prince en route to a Royal Lay-Up."
Charles was defended by ten middle-school students who could not overcome his height advantage. "He pump-faked me up, and all I could do was grab his belt on the way down to break my fall," said sixth-grader Tiffany Pratt.
Artest: Not that kind of King.
Charles, whose titles include Prince of Wales, Prince of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay and Burberry Rookie Traffic-Cone Dribbling Champion, was accompanied by Camilla Parker Bowles, his long-time paramour and more recently his agent in negotiation with teams who may want to draft the scion of the House of Windsor who is projected as a shooting guard. "My guy's gonna get paid what's he worth, or he'll play in Italy next year," the tough-talking Bowles said. "It's not every year someone enters the draft who's descended from Kings, and I'm not talking about Ron Artest."
Copyright 2007, Con Chapman
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