*Becoming Illegal *

This was an email fowarded to me by a friend. I thought it was good enough to share for a laugh! 

*Becoming Illegal *

*(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have
contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine
the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of
this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in
the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last
five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to
get the process started before everyone figures it out. *

* Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to
pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
 
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
 
premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
 
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
 
as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the
 
United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
 
of renewing my driver's license and making those  burdensome
car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the  necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. *

*Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
 
**Get your Forms (NOW)!!
 
Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!*