Now there's an eye-catching title for you. To be truthful there has been no public disrobing to report, so if you are feeling a bit cross about being tricked I apologise and you may take your leave now. But before you go, as a conciliatory gesture, permit me to say: ‘Tits'. Hope that helps.
The real thing that happened is that I traded the bulk of my points for gift vouchers and now I'm experiencing over-spending guilt. So, feeling the need to acquire lots more points as quickly as possible to calm myself, I fibbed a little in the title.
Had I spent the last twelve months being a far more attentive contact, a more prolific contributor, a ‘better' gatherer in fact, this sudden need to replace 6000 points wouldn't feel so overwhelming. But you see I am in fact a piss-weak contact, reading and commenting only randomly here and there, when time and interest permits. (As the 104 of you very, very special wonderful people know only too well.) Also, I'm only an occasional publisher, having lost my muse at the shops one day several months ago. I'm sure I left it in a shopping trolley but when I went back the next day nobody had handed it in. So there's perhaps a bewildered person in my town wondering why she or he keeps wanting to create high fat recipes and write odes to Hugh Jackman.
As an international gatherer this whole points business has been fairly irrelevant to my motivation here, but two things happened this week to change that. Firstly, I re-published an old article written back before creativity and I became estranged, and it was so generously received that in one day my points shot skywards like never before. The other thing that happened is that I found out that if I order vouchers to be sent to a friend in the States, the gather computer doesn't care if I'm American or not!
In consequence of this I got all juiced about 1) all the attention and 2) the thought of giving my friend stuff. Stuff is such a great thing to be able to send to someone, particularly when it's free stuff and postage is included.
So, instead of this being an article about me exposing my wobbly bits, it is in fact an ‘Article Map'. On the links below you can find my articles that have amused me or others to some degree. Please click on as many of them as you can, put a ten in the star gauge and quickly refer to me as a point concubine in the comment box. (Reading them is purely optional.) That should get things moving along nicely points-wise which will contribute to me feeling more sanguine about my extravagance today, and more importantly, to the future quantity of steaks in my friend's freezer.
Featured Articles:
Sibling Torture - A Downunder View (two word challenge)
The Penguins of Pinewood Street
The Prince of the World's Faithful Retainer
Beer By-products (Vegemite) - Bite Me (two word challenge)
A Short History of Orstralia - Republish for Orstralia Day
Iconic Orstralian Foods - These were also two word challenge articles.
Lollies - Gathering Thunder
Lamingtons - Mad Bees
Cherry Ripes - Power Freeze
Tim Tams - Simply Irresistible (tagged for adults because Tim Tams are very slutty)
Victoria Bitter - Free Ride
Meat Pies - Divine Sacrifice
Fiction story - The Cuddly Cookbook (not tagged for adults even though the characters sometimes curse like mule-skinners)
Chapter One - Naughty Potatoes
Chapter Two - Tandoori Chicken
Chapter Three - Belgian Onion Dip
Chapter Four - Deep Fried Bounty Bars
Chapter Five - Cheese Toasties
Chapter Six - Chicken Curry
Chapter Seven - doesn't exist. If anyone has any idea where to go with this please give me a hoy.
Random things about er... things:
I'm going to marry Hugh Jackman when I grow up
The Last Frangipani of the Summer
Born Again Virgins (tagged for adults because I'm a prude at times)
I really amuse myself sometimes
Unspeakably bad poetry
Fuzzy Edges (two word challenge)
Hedgehog Song (two word challenge)
NB: If you happen to meet someone else from Redcliffe, Queensland who seems inordinately interested in Hugh Jackman, please let me know. There's a reward.
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 32
I'd stay longer, but I seem to have a full load of clickin' and ratin' to do.
Mars, glad you were sucked in. that clickin and ratin is in fact an aerobic exercise that will help you work off any unwelcome side effects of being fooled. and you can do it in your baggy trousers or not.
I'm still holding onto my points in the case that the Bosses of Gather feel the need to reward me for being one of the only New Zealanders that semi-regularly visit thie site... A girl can only dream can't she?
Oh and James.. I know the real Carolyn and believe me only half of her wacky personality comes through in her writing!
Jim, how kind you are. I just hope I can soon write something more substantial that will actually deserve your readership. Thank you.
Orby, our dreams should never be discouraged. As pointless as they may be. (and shhhhh on the 'real me' stuff will you! no need to scare these nice people off..)
I'll go and check all the above articles when the weather cools in West Oz - the boiling heat wave continues, with high humidity chucked in: another 105 degrees is forecast for today. The house was so hot last night that I sat outside until 3 o'clock this morning. And I'm absolutely buggered! Won't be on line long today.
May a Bunyip scull your stubbie!
8-p<-
john and bill, the generic apology in the text i now personally extend to you both. and in addition to the word tits, i'll throw in a 'buttock' and 'thigh' just to make it up to you both.
You should check my friend Synchronicity and her post about adding 'in my pants' to TV and movie titles. Last I checked she had over 140 comments.
I did the same links list on my xanga (http://www.xanga.com/STRESSEDwriter) where most of my writing resides. A very useful approach. I shall return to your list and read. I'll try to comment in a less 'piss-weak contact' fashion even though this post was san public nudity.
the idea of an article map has been suggested to me many times, and i'm glad i finally did one, particularly as i chuckled to myself loudly as i prepared it in this naughty way. consider yourself contacted.
...okok...the thigh helps, I am a legman after all...
love your style x
Cluey idea.
Write on!
I'll be reading more. :-)
Yvette