Winter Friday

Fifteen minutes til I become "weekend mother."  I like my new job at a desk at a radio station and the way that it separates my life at work from my life at home.  Even though I spend the day in a think tank of family, parenthood and motherhood issues here at this radio station, it isn't until I get home that I actually get to try out my theories.   The way it used to be I was at the "office" at home and at any time I would have to multi task from theory to practice.   

Is  it true that if you look your kids in the eye when you are talking to them that they actually will learn those skills and become good communicators?  If I don't say "did you guys take the dog for a walk?" will they actually notice that it is time for them to take the dog for a walk?  If I get off the phone quicker than they thought I was going to, will they feel a little more paid attention to?  These are theories I like to "test out" without letting them know. They think I'm a little weird, the way I'm thinking about motherhood.  They sort of wish I was normal.  So I have learned, all these years into it, to just be quiet about the latest "MOMoir" I'm reading.  I've learned to just act like I'm reading the paper to get the basketball scores, not the top "FAMILY STORY" in the news.  I've learned to go under cover.  I don't want them to think that they have to live up to some kind of standard that I've set for them, simply because I spend the whole day thinking about the task of rearing them.

 It is another weekend to try to calm myself from the many tasks at hand at our comfortable house. It is another weekend to remind myself that actually being a good parent takes a lot of time and energy and a lot of subtle planning.  And it's another weekend to relax, and just do it, rather than think about it.

 --Nanci Olesen is piloting a show about parenthood at Minnesota Public Radio.  Check out her work as host of MOMbo at http://www.mombo.org , and stay tuned to hear more about what this pilot is becoming.