Practically Speaking: Playdates or Paychecks?

Let’s face it, no matter what your household earnings are, it’s hard to cut your income in half.  Should you stay at home?  Should you go back to work?  Do what suits your family best, but really look at the costs of both options; I mean dig into the details of the “real life” cost implications of some key issues before committing to either one. 

Sure, you include in your calculations, salary, daycare, and gas, but did you include the swanky new wardrobe you’ll need since you probably don’t fit into your old clothes yet?  There are several other realities that sneak into the cost of going back to work as well.

Daycare often charges by the minute for tardiness on pickups.  Do you have a reliable commute home?  Do you have the kind of job that will allow you to make it to the door on time?  “I’ll just have my spouse do the pick up”…Sure, just find a daycare that’s right close to home if you and yours work in different areas.  Oh, and if you are splitting the pick-up drop-off, you’ll need a second set of car seats, too.

Let’s not forget that if you take the daycare center route, your kids won’t be welcome when they’ve got green goobers.  That means you will be using your sick time/vacation time for things other than fun in the sun.  Oh, yeah, and you still have to pay for the daycare while “on rounds”.

With everyone running out the door early in the AM and rushing back before they lock the door at daycare, when will you cook dinner?  Details, details, you say.  But do you plan to spend your weekends cooking and freezing meals so you can punch the defrost button at 6:00pm?  Or will your weekends be filled with activities to try to make up for being away from the kids all week?  (Don’t laugh.  This is quite common.  Guilt can settle in when you’re not looking.)  The thing is, spending money on all those extra activities and/or picking up those curbside meals can cost more money than you expect.  In fact, picking up a dinner for 4 just twice a week can run you $3,000 a year.  Really, that’s just at $30 per meal, twice a week for 50 weeks.

What about staying home?  Doesn’t that cost something?  It sure does.  Think hard about how you intend to spend the days.  There are lots of costly activities out there and lots of free ones, too.  Are you happy attending the free half hour story time at the library every Friday or do you plan on paying for a session that offers consistency of attendees and a more specific agenda?

You want to hit the gym and get back into shape!  Terrific!  Does your gym allow infants or will you be paying for your membership that you can’t use until the little angel is 6 months old?  Does your gym require the children in the playroom to have a membership, too?  What activities are offered for kids and do these activities require your participation and/or extra dollars?  If your Tae Bo DVD’s works for you, that’s great, but staying at home all the time can wear away at you.  “Mommy fitness groups” cost money, too, but they do provide community and support that can really help during this transition.

Day after day of the same old routine can have you looking pretty hard for something - ANYthing to do.  Consider your personality and factor in what kinds of things you will end up doing to break up the monotony…the children’s museum, MacDonald’s, your in-laws, the zoo, shopping.

Now your home will be the daycare.  Do you need more toys/activities?  Can you bear using second-hand ones that you get for cheap on eBay or does that bother you and only new will do?  Do you have the space for all these new items or will you need to buy toy boxes and shelves?

How will you handle it when you get sick?  Will your spouse stay home for the kids?  Do you have a reliable non-working relative near-by?  What about when you have to go to a doctor visit for some unmentionable-type check-up?  Will you pay for a sitter?

There are other things to consider that don’t have direct cost implications but affect the bottom line.  For example: Which party should stay at home?  Can one person more readily get a job if something should happen?  Can one person command a higher rate of pay?  Does one person have a better chance of doing their job on a part-time basis or at night?

Whichever path you chose, it’s imperative to be honest.  Be honest about what is important to you and your family, the kind of activities you will engage in, and the sacrifices you are willing to make to build a happy home.

Heather Montanaro, Money Correspondent:

Heather's column, Practically Speaking, published 3 times a month to Gather Essentials: Money presents practical advice for everyday living and provides insight on how to pair lifestyle choices with financial realities.

Heather Montanaro holds an Executive MBA from Northeastern University and has held senior positions with local technology and service companies.  Now she enjoys staying at home with her 2 young children.  She's made the adjustment from 2 to 1 incomes and enjoys helping others reach their personal goals as a Budget Coach.

You can find all of Heather's Practically Speaking columns at tag: budget coach

Keep up with Heather's other postings and Gather activity by joining her Gather network - just click here budgetcoach.gather.com and select the orange "Connect " button on the left-hand side of the page.

You'll find Heather and other Money Correspondents, plus celebrity content and plenty of other Money experts at Money.gather.com.