Don't Hate US... by M.K.Townsend (Age 10)

Very good !

However, there are religious bigots everywhere in this world now that say that folks need to believe in their religion or they can't go to a better afterlife, or that they must die.

Most of what is seen now in this world now is that bigotry of the religious right of most religions.

The religious of today have no reason for that which is called love, as they show their bigotry.

But your attempt M is the correct one.

I think it's beautiful
I know little about poetry
the word "so" seams to sit funny. Maybe try "please" instead
I still think it's' beautiful

This is beautiful and a reflection of the Love she is shown at home by her loving parents. I am thrilled to see such open and beautiful work from one so young. From the mouths of babes. Truly a Heart Tugger!

My comment is not to judge it by comparison with the other poem. I see nothing to critisize here let the peom stand for itself. beautiful......more bravo

This is very nicely done. I agree that the word 'please' would work better than 'so', but even with no changes the poem has a simplistic beauty.

This is great, and has a very deep meaning within those simple words. Thank you and your daughter.

great poem

Great Web Sites For Kids

It's great to see a young one interested in writing. You might also want to check this link to a list of web sites for kids (American Library Association).

In the past, I monitored teen writing sites and contests. Many of them seemed to appreciate feedback from their peers more than from us. These should all be safe sites, considering the Library Associatio put the list together.

my only thought would be to tell her what I tell all my students...don't use vanilla ice cream words when raspberry ripple ones will do! Simply said, use more descriptive and unique words to express yourself and try to compare your feelings with something in nature or even something that is odd or different than a normal human being....for example, we have always heard her hair is black....but that is a vanilla ice cream statement...how about "black as a raven's wing" or "black as the dark side of the moon"....something along those lines is much more illustrative and helps the reader to "see" what you mean. Did that help?!?

I'll respond to the comments last to first as of this point.

Sandy, Thank you for being a friend to my daughters writing and Please forgive me my past ignorance and attitude towards you (I have wronged you in the past). I will look up the list of sites, and see what we can submit to without her losing her copyrights and get helpful feedback. But I will still post here because of people like you have so much to give in the way of writing wisdom and I want her to be blessed by. Thank you and Happy New Year Sandy!

Jennifer Thank you, she smiles even at the corrective comments she gets, I think she understands it is a compliment to have anyone take the time to say anything.

Thank you, Lisa My is blessed with a thoughtful mind and a kindness that even animals notice, this past year she started petting a new born Steer (under a 1/2 old) and I was worried when I realized what she was doing as the Momma could get angry with her, and possibly hurt her. I went to her slowly but before I could get to her the Momma cut me off and would not let me near either her baby or mine....

Randy, Thank you that means allot, I have read your poetry and know of your talent.

Thomas T, "Never stop writing." Thank you also, that is a simple but yet such an important message. Thank you for giving it to her.

Thank you Audrey, M. ( I keep her name to initials so she is not exposed to those who would misuse her personal info) was writing in her journal making up a code key for secret messages then she cam to me with this gem... She, like me, moves quickly from topic to topic and project to project... unfortunately that means I never complete them all , and it means she never finished cleaning up her room all the way...lol

William, you are wise and kind cheerleader and friend, I thank you... and to my daughter Indeed Bravo!!!

April, Thank you for your kind complement, we are far from perfect, but we do love each other, and I strive to say it to them everyday. And yes M. has indeed great wisdom for one so young.

Laura H, Thank you I will share the Idea (using Please instead of so) with her and we shall see what she decides as it is not for me to change it (the only edit I did was spelling, and I added the word "US" to the title. I think if she changes it t all we will add the changed version to the bottom of this article so all the comments are in one place for her.

Richard, yours is such a thought provoking response to the hard realities of today and the expression of love by my daughter. Well spoken, I am very religious, but I do not believe in hate, speech or otherwise. (Indeed while I am not sad Saddam is gone, I am Saddened when anyone has to die because of wrong choices, I can not hate him, thought I do hate all the evil he allowed himself to be involved in and even inspire. His death for me was a hollow victory, but not a reason to celebrate) She has caught a vision with these two poems of hers of Love as it should be. Thank you for sharing that with her and me.

Wendy, Thank you, she like me needs you and indeed all readers, and you all help to motivate us to write more...

Michael F, Indeed I am not a rhyme and meter poet, (I do rhyme many of my poems but I try to make sure the message works, not stressing the structure.) I do not read how to books of poetry, for me and it seems my daughter, poetry is a statement of the soul, something from our spirits translated by our minds then transferred to paper. Thank you for taking the time.

All of you, I thank you.

M. Emmett Townsend

Thank you for sharing, proud Dad. M.K. you express praise-worthy sentiments well. I wish you a life filled with books - both to read and in which to write. Moya

For such a short poem , it has a huge meaning. Great poem, thank you for sharing it with us.

Nice poem! I like the shape it takes on the page too. Thanks for sharing, and
keep writing!

Nice poem. It is significant that young minds begin to feel the almost tangible effects of a world of hatred. Hatred begets hatred and creates a sense of insecurity, so clear from a child's perspective.

I think you have a very talented and intelligent child.

This is very good, I think she should start to publish them, It isnt often that we see someone of this age, who has talent and has compassion. She is a blessing . I am sure.

Very good poem. Seem's your daughter is very talented.

This poem has made the featured list at Pastimes. Thanks M.K. for sharing!

Thank you Everyone. Paul thank you for letting me know she will be thrilled.

I applaud M.K. The poem is direct and thought-prevoking. And it brings to my mind a question: That which can save, is it a feeling (love) or a person (Love)? If she is referring to the person of the Triune God, I would only suggest capitalization. Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing. Great work, especially for a 10 year old. Thanks for sharing, I'll be watching for more of her poetry.

lovely, mk!! thanks for sharing, emmett!