Resolution Starting now going for life

I usually do not make New Year resolutions because after a few weeks they are forgotten.  Not that I thought I didn't need improvement, but because it seemed silly.  This year is different for a variety of reasons.

The last few years have been mentally difficult for me.  Not so much different than other people my age, but since I feel isolated, maybe harder to cope with.  All my children are grown and have families of their own, my husband's family doesn't really accept me as "family" but more as his wife, nothing more, nothing less.  With little opportunity to communicate with others, I tend to talk way too much when someone is around.  I'm sure you've met people like this, usually old and lonely.

 I had a stroke 10 years back at the age of 48 due to an adrenal gland tumor which was benign.  I cannot drive since I lost my peripheral vision to the right in both eyes.  So I lost the ability to be independent.  I've been fighting with myself when I get down that I will not be a person who feels sorry for themselves.  I will be strong in any way I can. 

I had been wondering why I feel so isolated and alone.  I could never really find an answer because I wasn't looking at myself but at those around me and putting the blame on them for not being more understanding of my need to get out, see people and have someone to communicate with.  My husband finally opened my eyes with a few little statements in a small disagreement we were having.

I won't go into the details of what was said but I now know what I need to do to help myself and make those around me feel better too.  I need to keep my mouth shut!  No more negative responses, surly remarks, and going on and on about a subject matter when a simple yes, no, or I don't know will work just fine.  The times are different than 10 or 15 years ago and people don't want to hear all the negative.  Back to the old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything" and when I do reply, I will try to smile when appropriate. 

I started yesterday, and trust me, this is hard.  I have always been opinionated and outspoken, and known as a strong willed woman.  I am constantly reminding myself, think before you speak and say it in as few words as possible.  Do not ramble on and on. 

So, taking that advice in this posting, I will quit rambling on and hope for the best in the new and modern me.