The Purina Diet

I have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I
told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been
sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with laughter
staggering to the door for fresh air.