Why do people do this?

Last night my daughter invited me to go with her to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner to celebrate her friend's birthday. It is a relatively new friend that I have not met and she wanted me to meet her new group of friends. One other mom was going so I figured I would go. It was a great dinner. We were a group of ten and we all enjoyed each other's company.

Then the bill came. It was almost $400. We all got out our money and calculators. One girl said she had to leave right away. She plopped down $25 cash and ran off. After everyone put in their parts, we were about $50 short. Apparently, only my daughter and I thought to put in for the appetizers that were ordered by all and consumed by everyone but me. I didn't have a single bite of any of the three appetizers ordered. So we all took out more money. Except two people that insisted they had already put in a couple of dollars extra. I hate that. I had put in about $12 extra. The woman that put down her $25 and left right away miscalculated by about $20 plus we had all agreed to chip in and pay for the birthday girl's dinner so it was really more like $30 that she screwed us on.

In the end, it cost me about $20 more than it should have because everyone took off except my daughter and I.

Why do people do this? What are your experiences?

Comments: 10

Ang, inspired by good, G. Dec 21, 2006, 4:09pm EST

I hate it when people do this. It drives me crazy. I think that everyone should pay equal. I don't know why people do this, its so inconsiderate.

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Lynn G. Dec 21, 2006, 4:10pm EST

Some people are embarrassed because they might not have realized how expensive it was going to be and don't have the money. Some people are just
thoughtless.

Best way to handle this that I've found is to ask for separate checks up front
except for the guest of honor, and just add a $3-5 charge to everyone's check to pay for that person.

Sorry you had to experience that .. it's very disappointing and uncomfortable. It sounds like you and your daughter handled it well despite the frustration. Maybe just consider it a "Christmas gift" to the group?

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Bill H. Dec 21, 2006, 4:11pm EST

Separate checks works better. Then you only have to worry about divvying up the tip..

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Corina Carrasco Dec 21, 2006, 4:42pm EST

To top it off, we had really bad service and because it was a large group, they added the 18% gratuity to the bill. Some of us suggested we leave less and explain why but we ended up just paying the whole thing because it was less of a hassle.

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♯ ♪ Dec 21, 2006, 4:51pm EST

I've had this happen, and it burns me. We've even had relatives do this! The best thing to do is ask for separate checks. I disagree that it's unseemly. It's a pain in the rear for the server, but if you want to keep it honest, you have to. Either that, or pay for it all.

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Corina Carrasco Dec 21, 2006, 5:03pm EST

In Las Vegas last year, for my daughter's 21st birthday, there were three families. My daughter and I were the smallest family. We all went to dinner and when the bill came, my daughter's and my portion amouned to less than $35 (she had a problem with her food so they comped her dish). The bill was put on the table and neither of the other two family heads (both men older than me, working, and with money~I am a single mom, disabled, living from check to check) reached for it. I grabbed it and was very graceful when I said we could just split it three ways. So I put in $75. They put in theirs then that left the tip. They quibbled over the tip, suggesting that I pay for 1/3 of it. I got upset but did not say a word so I just swallowed hard, grabbed the bill and paid for the entire thing and walked out. I never got a thank you from any of them. Some people have no class.

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♯ ♪ Dec 21, 2006, 6:31pm EST

I agree, Corina. But some people, like you, DO have class!

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David Rochester Dec 21, 2006, 7:57pm EST

They do it because they are stupid, cheap, and thoughtless. Unfortunately it is left to those of us who are responsible and well-bred to cover the errors of those who are not.

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Linda R. Dec 21, 2006, 8:43pm EST

I agree with those who say that you should ask for separate checks - that way everyone can order what they can afford or are willing to pay for. Getting one check and splitting it leaves you open for exactly what happened, but it also obligates you to pay for someone else's drinks or more expensive menu items.

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J W. Jan 14, 2008, 8:58am EST

next time ask for seperate checks........I would not foot the bill for something I didn't eat no way

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Why do people do this?

Comments: 10

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