WOMANHOOD

Womanhood
> >
> >by Unknown Brilliant Woman Author
> Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and
forget
> >where they left them.
> >
> >One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman
gain
> >5 lbs.
> >
> >
> >My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
> >
> >
> >The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear really tight shoes.
> >
> >The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know
what
> >you're doing, someone else does.
> >
> >The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your
> >body and your fat are really good friends.
> >
> >Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
> >
> >Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
> >
> >I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and
> >setting my pantyhose on fire.
> >
> >
> >Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two
> >sizes!
> >
> >Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You
know,
> >sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my
mother's
> >maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be
a
> >special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
> >
> >
> >A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She
had
> >14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
> >
> >I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating
too
> >much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my
> >idea of a perfect day.
> >
> >
> >I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30
> >can fit into their stuff.
> >
> >
> >
> >Celebrate Womanhood! Share this with all of those amazingly brilliant and
> >tremendously talented women who are intelligent enough to call YOU their
> >friend :-) !!!