by Kevin (''The SiteWizard'') V.
Member since:
March 14, 2006

Gather Christmas Trees - On Sale Now!

December 11, 2006 05:29 PM EST (Updated: December 11, 2006 05:31 PM EST)
views: 116 | comments: 35

  
New!

 The latest in the GatherGloTM holiday product line.

 Naturally artificial.  Brilliantly orange.

 

Limited Edition

Gather Christmas Tree 

 

fileId:3096224743977486;size:full; 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Check out these great features: 

 

Brighter, cornea burning color will never fade (each tree ships with 1 pair of GatherGloTM sunglasses and a bottle of aspirin).  Note: trees are not flamer retardant.

 

24x7 onsite customer support.  Helpful support personnel will assist you in every aspect of the construction and decoration of your tree (whether you want it or not).  Assistance will range from detailed technical expertise, to glowing praise for your decorating skill (no matter how ugly your tree is).  Some of our support members may also offer rude, sarcastic commentary ...all in an effort to make your tree the very best that it can be (or at least as good as they could do it).   

 

All basic decorations for your tree are included.  Standard ornaments (pictured above) are only available in one shape, size and color.  Note: spacing of ornaments is subject to change without notice or reason, and occasionally ornaments may disappear from your tree entirely.

 

Transfer of ornaments.  You may also transfer ornaments from other trees!  However, the color, shape, size and spacing of the ornaments may be altered dramatically during transfer.  Attempts to correct these problems are limited, and may ultimately cause your ornaments, or tree to implode. 

 

Make your tree even brighter.  Each tree ships with thousands of mini GatherGloTM  lights in a wide variety of colors and sizes!  Note: each bulb is individually wrapped.  Therefore, some effort is required to find the bulbs that meet your specific interest.

 

Customize your tree.  Purchase one of four unique tree-toppers, appropriately gilded: 

 fileId:3096224743977480;size:full;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or, you may custom order an 'Alternate Identity' tree-topper, which will support and praise you no matter whose tree it is placed upon! 

 

Order Yours Today!!

(offer not available to residents of the USA ...on principle) 

 

Look for our other exciting GatherGloTM  holiday products, including:

 

Gather Wreaths, Stockings, Menorahs and Dreidels!

 
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Comments: 35

Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Dec 11, 2006, 5:34pm EST
LOL!!! I'm putting in my order right away!!!
Marsha F. Dec 11, 2006, 5:49pm EST
Could I please get one with a set of black light bulbs??? I'd like to have it for next Halloween!! LOL
Leah Christensen Dec 11, 2006, 5:52pm EST
I want one of those balls with Gather on it! ;-)
Kathryn E. Dec 11, 2006, 6:09pm EST
Too cute.
Susan *. Dec 11, 2006, 6:09pm EST
too funny....but please can we have 2 pair of sunglasses? The dog is squinting just looking at the monitor!
Vikki M. Dec 11, 2006, 6:11pm EST
I'll take ten! :-)
Michelle W. Dec 11, 2006, 6:38pm EST
HA HA!! This is too cute!
flit . Dec 11, 2006, 7:32pm EST
Interesting LOL Love the angel tree toppers
Katheryn D. Dec 11, 2006, 7:34pm EST
those angel tree toppers are kinda freaky!

LOL
Lori Cee Dec 11, 2006, 7:51pm EST
i needed this laugh, kevin! thanks! and youre even cuter when you loosen up a little! ; )
☃ Aunt Shanny Dec 11, 2006, 7:57pm EST
Too bad they don't match my decor, I would order one, NO TWO, of each!!!!!
The League Dec 11, 2006, 9:39pm EST
The sad thing is that this shit is so thoroughly American. Fake and convenient - the suburban American way.
June M Dec 11, 2006, 9:54pm EST
Loved this Kevin! Satire at its brightest...er...brighter...best...bestest...sorry can't see the keyboard 'cause the light is sooooo bright in here.

Does Gather accept Gather points? I hope so 'cause I'd sure like to have one of them...ummm...CLASSY trees. But Kevin, I would like to have you on my angel.
Apryl Just Apryl Dec 11, 2006, 11:02pm EST
I love this kevin, and was laughing out loud! But, I have one question are they available in dualing pairs. Gatherglo and Gather-nonglo? I think they should also offer a fluffy topper. LOL
Apryl Just Apryl Dec 11, 2006, 11:03pm EST
Btw, I plan to get one for every room as I so dislike my neighbors.
Jim Bostick Dec 12, 2006, 9:29am EST
I am certainly no angel but I do enjoy that you think I am. Thanks for the giggle today.
Jiya S. Dec 12, 2006, 2:40pm EST
Oh, this is great. Especially the part about the ornaments being changed during the transfer.
Μόףףý ● ķ ~ Dec 12, 2006, 3:54pm EST
I love it!
Kevin, to hell with the tree; and send those fallen angels to The Devil's Tea House where they belong. I'll have the big box under the tree, thank you.
Dannielle S. Dec 12, 2006, 7:44pm EST
Kevin, I hope those boxes under the tree hold lots of great comments, too. (No orange paper?)
Terry S. Dec 13, 2006, 8:03am EST
Funny Funny Guy
jessie voigts Dec 15, 2006, 12:22pm EST
what a hoot! i bet it could go outside, too, and be just fine. we could entertain the geese...
Tom C. Dec 21, 2006, 8:03pm EST
Great job, Kevin! Amazingly, everyone seems to realize that your tongue is planted firmly in your cheek with this article!
Audrey F. Feb 20, 2007, 2:06pm EST
The tree is orange? It is yellow on my screen. And the brightest yellow Christmas tree I have ever seen. Could you send me a catalogue? And is there anyway to get around the "not available to residents of the U.S." because I really, really want a gatherglo dreidel. Just on principle, of course. Not because it would be a real kick to have!
Thanks for the laughs, Kevin!
Oh, wow, Kevin, that was GREAT!
JoAnne D. Dec 19, 2007, 12:56pm EST
How many cans of spray paint did that. (lol) Cool, too bad it's not available.
Ashley B. Dec 19, 2007, 12:57pm EST
Yea it it pretty different. I like it.
Nice looking angels. Now that's a bright tree! Watch it or you all will start a new craze.
Laura Cushing Dec 19, 2007, 7:05pm EST
Is it sad that I'd actually buy a Gather ornament? I think that looks pretty cool!

I'll pass on the bright orange tree though ;)
Wilma M. Dec 19, 2007, 11:17pm EST
Oh, too bad. I already HAVE a tree (thank heavens). I must say this tree is very ...., um, it's really......... interesting, that's what it is, interesting.
what a hoot!!
Beverly T. Dec 20, 2007, 4:03am EST
Hilarious! You made my day...er...night!

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Pam H. Dec 20, 2007, 5:51am EST
That's so funny
J W. Nov 21, 2008, 1:05am EST
very funny. think I'll pass on the orange tree though

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