Seeking the Perfect 1

As I've gradually come to misunderstand how Gather works, I started to notice the Rating System. The idea seems to be, you read an article and then you give the writer of the article a rating. There are various purposes: to make the writer feel good (my alternative screen name is Vanity Publishing, so that works for me); to make the writer feel bad, usually by a "fly by" low rating, with a hope that you can see the writer commit suicide right here on live Internet--JUMP! JUMP!, anyway, I taught adolescents in public schools for eight years so it's very difficult to make me feel bad by anything you say to me; to help the writer improve his, her, or its writing; to warn other participants away from a painful experience; to show off that you (the rater) are a sophisticated person of exquisite taste and sophistications; to show that you (the rater) are a numbskull of no intelligence or urbanity whatsover.

And so on.

So I've set myself a challenge.

 I will try to achieve the perfect 1.

I'm not talking mere mediocrity here. Anyone can be mediocre. I can be mediocre without my hands tied. I am talking bottom of the barrell, utterly lacking in social or literary value, so terrible my article makes your teeth hurt like you've been to the dentist without novacain. It's not as easy to achieve as you might think. I figure it will take me a year of constant effort to achieve it, and you can suffer along with fellow Gatheri all the way through.

I have low standards, so I'm going to set some stringent rules. To be a perfect 1, 50 Gather readers will have to rate an essay by me at 1 without any exceptions. Futhermore, this can't be a drive-by, carelessly flip the bird and dash out the door,slam bam thank you ma'm rating of 1: 1. You must make a comment, explaining in a coherent and comprehensible way, why my article deserves a perfect 1, without repeating what someone else said.

I will post one article a week intended for this goal, except when I miss a week. I won't tell you which one it is, so you  will have to decide for yourself which is the least of my efforts for that week, and distinguish it from the merely mediocre ones. An average rating of 3 or 4 just won't do; anyone can do that. For example, this article is a 3 or 4.  But I'm just hitting a few fungos to warm up.

 My goal is to be the Jamaican Bobsled team, or the Eddie the Eagle ski jumper, of Gather. I need your help. #1 or fall down trying!