This was sent to me by a good friend. I love it, and thought some of you would get a laugh out of it too.
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, dont call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL, a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN. Get it?, you DICK!?!
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, dont call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL, a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN. Get it?, you DICK!?!
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Comments: 10
I would've gotten here sooner, but I had to find a place to park right in front of the building... I drove about 45 minutes waiting for one to open up... and then I was in the wrong lane to go back around the block and it took me another 30 minutes or so to intuit my way back... thankfully I have an excellent sense of direction.
Maybe you could come over to watch the game with me, as long as you don't try to grab the remote. I thinking of getting a hair weave... it'll make me look really good in my tank top and speedo... I'll probably shave my ears for the occasion. You're thinking I'm pretty hot, aren't you! I can always tell... chicks really dig me.
Oh, and my name's Mark, not Dick. I forgive you.
Carol, Really? I 'd like to read the male version.
John and Sheila, Thanks!