An Old Memory (Revised)

[Thank you to David Rochester.  Your article earlier tonight http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976846970

reminded me of this incident.]   

We were at Bob’s Big Boy for dinner.  I had helped the kids get settled and look at their menus and I had settled the baby into her highchair.  The waitress came by to take drink orders and I passed because I didn’t know what I wanted quite yet.  I had just finished settling everyone else in so I had not had a chance to even look at the menu.

But instead of letting the waitress go, he said, “We’re ready to order our food now.” The waitress paused and looked at me with an understanding smile.  She knew us because we were frequent customers.  I said I would keep looking at the menu while he placed his order.  He did it in two seconds flat.  Steak, medium, baked potato, sour cream, chive.

It was my turn to order for the kids and for me.  I ordered the kids’ meals for them and started to order the baked chicken I usually ordered but it came with mashed potatoes and he didn’t want me to have them.  Too fattening.  So I tried to very quickly find something he would approve of.  I asked the waitress if a certain dish was fixed with milk (I am lactose intolerant so I have to be careful what I order).  The waitress began to answer my question when he impatiently yelled at me that “anyone can see that it does!  It’s right there on the menu, written in English.  Can’t you read?” I was so flustered and embarrassed by his outburst that my eyes  immediately filled with tears.  I said I hadn’t seen it.  I then just asked the waitress to bring me a cup of coffee.  I wasn’t hungry.  She looked at me with such compassion it made me more embarrassed. 

The kids ate very quietly.  Even they knew something was wrong.  He ate as if nothing had happened.  Then we left.  He never apologized.  He never brought it up.

That was the beginning of the end.

(This is one of the incidents that I have put out of my mind after many years simply because it hurt so bad. There were others but this is the one that comes rushing to my mind when I hear of similar things happening to others. When I read David's article, it reminded me of this and the hurt came right back, all over again.)