The Gather Gnome meets the Dalai Lama Vol.1-#35

          I feel as if I'm walking on water. Oops, wrong metaphor. That was Jesus. What I mean to say is, I feel excited, thrilled to my toes. You might say I feel on top of the world  which is closer to the truth. I'm in Dharamsala, a village at the foothills of the Himalayas in northern India and home of the Dalai Lama.  Maybe I'm heady from the altitude, the crystal clear pine scented air, the killer views or maybe it's because I'm about to meet His Holiness Himself.

    My gnome bro Ingemar accompanied the monk and me from Shanghai to New Delhi.  Everything went according to plan until we got to the luggage carousel. The trouble with being this short is it's easy to get trampled or lost. In any case, the last time I saw Ingemar he said, "I've got to find me some of that killer catnip. Just in case those killer kitties catch up with us."  He never made the connecting flight. I'm not too worried he has more lives than nine cats. I'm sure our paths will cross again.

    The Indian soldier/guards in front of the Dalai Lama's temple took one look at my golden hammer and lunged towards me. "No, it's not a weapon." I screamed, "at least not one against holy men." They didn't believe me and removed it from my hand.

          Another monk nodded in my direction and asked, 'Mr. Invon Gnome sir, do you have anything you'd like blessed by His Holiness?"

           I stood and thought for a moment.  "My golden hammer?"  He didn't look amused. I rummaged in my pockets and pulled out my Golden Key. It glowed a soft green. He nodded his approval. "You are next in line." He handed me a flowing white scarf that is customary to offer the Dalai Lama.

          A maroon robed monk ushered me into a simple room lined with some Buddhist paintings. His Holiness himself, larger than I expected and louder too  slowly walked over to me half bowed and smiling. His eyes twinkled behind his metal-rimmed glasses. He made me feel like a long lost relative, which the dear man does to everyone.

           Some prostrate upon meeting him but I stand pretty close to the ground as it is so I didn't. I offered the scarf and he placed it around my shoulders. Then he shocked me by sitting on a cushion and playfully pulled on my beard. He said I was cute! My eyes went as round as Tibetan prayer wheel and he threw his head back and laughed. The unselfconscious laugh of a child. I couldn't help but join in. For the first time since leaving home I truly felt safe and happy. Two dour faced secretary/translators stood nearby but we never needed their services.

          I didn't have any deep spiritual question to ask. All I wanted to know was about my enemies, the killer kitties

           "Your Holiness, what should I do about someone wishing me harm?"

          He turned serious and simply said, "Have compassion."

          After admiring my Golden Key in the palm of his hand, he handed  it back to me with a smile. I'd never seen it glow so bright a green. It pointed south. I'm heading south. That's all I know for now. That's enough.

  To be continued…