by Jim Ross
Member since:
July 9, 2006

First Light (Free Verse)

November 19, 2006 10:36 AM EST (Updated: November 21, 2006 09:26 PM EST)
views: 71 | comments: 36

First Light

 

Peachy smears sky nature's stage
Behind brittle autumn crisps
Of naked, nervous shapes—
Gilded, glittered cameos framed
By liquid sheets of transformed beach
For virgin eyes first glance at life
And frost and what awaits the day


 

Copyright 2006 Jim Ross

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Comments: 36

Virginia M. Nov 19, 2006, 11:14am EST
ahhh what a nice crisp(cold) morning! Beautiful! The frost makes me want to scrunch my toes up hehehe
Wrick D. Nov 19, 2006, 11:38am EST
it's good to let go in free verse. it's good to explore. reading this poem several times and as if in one mind breath that finds the rhythm. when that happens i've found something beyond the words in this poem lingering in that beach morning moment.
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 11:50am EST
Thank you, Virginia.

Ah, Lost Soul, thank you for your sage critique. Such is the nature of things moveable in this poem; they're in stark relief one moment and in muzzy shadow, the next. "Virgin eyes" are virgin daily to open and view at least a nuance of what has been seen before. Therein is the "point to be inferred" by one who would peep and see what is in store outside today. I truly appreciate your insight.
Priscilla P. Nov 19, 2006, 11:58am EST
"Peachy smears sky nature's stage" snapped me right up and onto your stage set so delightfully. Great word arrangement. Super poetry.
Barbra L. Nov 19, 2006, 12:00pm EST
You've set a nice stage, Jim, for the the brief appearances of these wealthy, vivacious actors (in nature) to come forth and present a one-act play--never to be seen again exactly that way! Very nice metaphor.

Is there an Act II? I hope so.
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 12:14pm EST
You're right, Wrick, I really let the metaphors spice the page on this one! Your comment transported me to Hawaii to envision a "First Light" there. Thank you for that.
Wrick D. Nov 19, 2006, 12:25pm EST
you are right, first light is magic every morning from every place Jim. as yet lost on my other computer i do have images along these lines. now i have the opportunity to create more. cool on seeing first light through your eyes, it obviously wakes each reader to a new vision with each reading. cool on that. aloha.
Laurie White Nov 19, 2006, 12:36pm EST
Reminds me of a Sunday morning such as this, Jim, only I wish I was near the liquid sheets of transformed beach. Loved this one.
vijay kumar Nov 19, 2006, 12:44pm EST
The brevity and the metaphors make the poem strong and beautiful.
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 12:48pm EST
Hi, Priscilla--I love knowing the poem drew you into the play. Thank you for letting me know.

Hey, Barbra, thank you. I love your way of putting what happens with first light, and awakenings, every day; and for reminding me of the stage manager aspects of the writer's work.

Thank you, Juniper. I appreciate that.
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 12:53pm EST
Aloha, Wrick.

Thank you, Laurie.

Great, Vijay. Thank you for your comment; I appreciate knowing it works.
Connie C. Nov 19, 2006, 5:15pm EST
~ Nice ~
I enjoyed it vey much
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 5:41pm EST
Thank you, Connie.
Marsha B. Nov 19, 2006, 6:45pm EST
Such a beautiful picture this puts in my mind. :-) Absolutely lovely!
meena sundar Nov 19, 2006, 8:03pm EST
BEAUTIFUL !!!
Serina Matteson Nov 19, 2006, 8:05pm EST
Wow, excellent, vivid picture. Loved it.
Shaunee C. Nov 19, 2006, 8:32pm EST
excellent words.very enjoyable
Jim Ross Nov 19, 2006, 9:55pm EST
Thank you, Marsha, I'm glad you like it.

Hi, Meena. Thank you for that.

I'm happy to hear that, Serina. Thank you.

My pleasure, Shaunee. Thank you.
Robin S. Nov 19, 2006, 11:02pm EST
Wonderful imagery!
Shawn "left this place" W Nov 19, 2006, 11:57pm EST
Beautiful, Jim. Made me miss the coast.
Jim Ross Nov 20, 2006, 1:13am EST
Thank you, Robin.

Hi, Shawn. I understand that feeling of affection for the coast.
Jim Ross Nov 20, 2006, 9:47am EST
Hi, Amy. My pleasure. I'm glad the poem made you smile. That sky presented itself again this morning with a nuance in cloud shapes.
d g. Nov 21, 2006, 1:10pm EST
Nice, I am fond of the line, By liquid sheets of transformed beach. I imagine each new tide bringing renewal.
Jim Ross Nov 21, 2006, 5:13pm EST
Hi, d m.--Thank you; I'm glad you like the line.
Edward Nudelman Nov 22, 2006, 2:55pm EST
I like this Jim, the last line works well even with the repeated, "and". I'd agree with Lost Soul, you can improve with just a little punctuation.
John F Walter Nov 22, 2006, 4:18pm EST
A natural freshness imbues this short aubade of "naked, nervous shapes." The speaker has brought us into his view of this beach, of this dawning day, utterly. Great work, Jim!
Jim Ross Nov 23, 2006, 2:58am EST
Thank you, Ed. Your critiques are always welcome.

You spur me on with your welcome comments, John. Thank you.
saima f. Nov 23, 2006, 9:17am EST
it's nice to read you after such a long time.JIM
Jim Ross Nov 23, 2006, 10:12am EST
Thank you, Saimy. It's nice to hear from you, too. :-)
Dawn M Nov 24, 2006, 1:36am EST
Beautifully written Jim. Sounds like the day I faced...
Jim Ross Nov 24, 2006, 3:06am EST
Hi, Dawn--

Thank you for that. I appreciate your comments very much.
Jim Ross Nov 27, 2006, 4:04pm EST
Thank you, Mary. I'm glad it struck that chord. Comments like yours remind me why I write.
julian 'blighted karma' three Nov 29, 2006, 1:16pm EST
Exquisite collaboration - and this also marks the first time that I believe I have seen the word 'sky' used as a poetic verb! Well done all around!
Jim Ross Nov 29, 2006, 9:32pm EST
Hi, Julian--I was thrilled when Amy decided to create the pastel for the haiku, Watercolor Morning; I'm glad you like it. Re, First Light: I'm always chary of using nouns as verbs, but it seems right to me, here. Your enjoyment of the poem is what counts for me. Thank you.
thanks for sharing =)

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