Special Note To PreSims: This meditation on Self as Poetica was written after a discussion with JW about Descarte's Méditations Metaphysiques (1647) otherwise known as Meditations On First Philosophy, which was his examination and discussion of existence, self, identity and conciousness.
(PS: Descarte never wrote nor said "I Think, therefore I Am.)
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Goddess 3.0
a broken connection infinite in her desire
a thought leading nowhere to the sea
utter a sound, which
has no meaning (to to exhale that name)
or an empty mirror
being or being unseen
body bound in silk to boundary
between / be twain God
&
Nothingness
you can't cross the same river twice
you will drown in my pouring out
and * my imperfection is my own
I was pointing –- panting, breathless
I think I was trying to say [something]
rabble babbling child's meditations on self
featureless faces [] facelss shadows
how defectors to my love factor into
tear apart this frontier trail
they're the dent in my identity
carnage of our ages invasion
as evasion of senses, but I am, I exist
////
she writes me letters from South Station
as promised
vowels first. Wishing consent consonants,
of those times I dreamed/am dreaming
writ deceptions, then?
mere me than pull of quantum gravity?
the myriad of dancing shadows of what
for thoughts are naught and what we had
a trope atrophying
song to static – sound to sadness
deaf to definition, so friends we'll be.
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Comments: 4
her leading nowhere
to an empty mirror, unseen
boundary, you can't cross
breathless, to say child's thoughts
faces love, invasion
she promised first, wishing
mirror shadows, atrophying
sadness, we'll be.
Hope you don't mind my cliff notes version. I did this to track the emotional
veins through the gyrations in your complicated mental venture and
came out with this as the heart behind the words in it.
Much love, Will and endless hugs as you dive inside with these
poems. .....let it rip, Darlin.
In a simple play of articulations,the poem's speaker makes a choice through listening back to his own speech about this love, as well as his own identity from all the core awarenesses from "child's meditation on self." "The dent in my identity" is also the "carnage of the ages", when inference is seen from the outside as a divide, rather than as a reflective monist response to the personhood of another.
Correspondence ensues, as a new groping for meaning on the outer fringes of consciousness, where indeed in language a play of "the myried of dancing shadows" is made possible through representation's limitations and the dream of false presence. All this is seen by Goddess 3.0's speaker as a leavetaking, a separation into sound of silence, sound and silence, as the embodied self chooses a draft of the multiple prepared to guide the story, leaving behind "a trope atrophying song to static."
Evans' poem meshes personal response--the "feeling" of the feeling, when feelings are a form of representing our already expressed emotions to ourselves as afterthought, as we struggle to make our consciousness leave its prisons of doubts, and the assumptions about expression of identity in language that are naively dualist, behind--with high intellectual concern about what is this mind, this chain of thoughts, this me in the skull that emits plosives your way. The result is a highly charged experience of language doubling back to find evidence of the silences of consciousness in the background of love's murmur, gasp, shy sigh of goodbye.