A Wedding Gown Revelation

She looked through the closet, sighing at the enormous task before her.  Clothes in an assortment of sizes to fit her body at different times in her life.  Clothes to wear if she gained a few.  Clothes to wear if she lost a few.  It was ridiculous, almost as if she did not know how to live in the moment at her current size.  There was always either a  hope of losing weight or an expectation of gaining weight looming in the back of her mind.

 

She pulled outdated items off of the rack, and tossed them into the donation bag.  She was surprised at how difficult it was to get rid of things she had not been able to wear for at least ten years.

 

And then she saw it.  Perfectly boxed, in the top of her closet.  She carefully reached up and brought it down, and sat down on the bed.  She smiled as she opened the box.  Reaching in, she gently pulled out her wedding gown, the one she had worn when she had walked down the aisle twenty-six years ago.  Memories invaded her mind, and she felt tears well up.  It had been such a happy day.  She had felt so beautiful on that day, and she had been overweight then too.  She had been amazed that she had found a dress to even fit.  She could still remember her husband's face when he first saw her in it, walking toward him as he stood at the front of the church.  It was a simple, yet beautiful gown.  It was white with tiny pearls and lace adorning the sweetheart neckline.  The long sleeves were lace as well, and the train was just the right length.  The veil and head dress were a perfect match, with tiny lace flowers. 

 

She pulled it out of the box all of the way and stood up, shaking it out, so that she could look at it fully.  She gasped.  It was so tiny.  It couldn't be!  She couldn't remember ever being thin enough to wear something so small.  Yes, here was evidence that she had been. 

 

The thing was, nobody ever had accepted her size...even back then when she was twenty-one years old.  She was always made to feel fat, and always urged to diet.  It seemed as if she had spent her entire life dieting, which usually meant she gained ten pounds each time rather than lose. And she hadn't been tiny, like the cheerleaders in her school.  But looking at her wedding gown, she could see that her size was just right.  At least, it was just right in terms of her thinking now.  She would give anything to have the body that fit perfectly into that wedding gown twenty-six years ago. 

 

She carefully placed the gown back into the box, and put it back up on the shelf.  And she felt a sadness come over her.  She had wasted so many years trying to look like the other girls in her class, feeling inferior, feeling fat and ugly.  She had let so many opportunities pass her by because she didn't think she measured up, all because of her false perception of herself that was totally based on the opinions of others. 

 

What would her life had been like if she had seen herself for as she truly was and accepted herself for as she truly was?  Would she have tried harder to reach her goals?  Would she have dared to dream a bit more?  Would she have married the person she had married? 

 

She walked over and looked into the mirror, and tried to see what was truly there.  She saw a woman with a nice smile, very few wrinkles, and a few laugh lines.  She saw a woman who was voluptuous and beautiful for the first time in a long time.  And for the first time in a long time, she realized that she was truly beautiful, not because of her size...but because of who she was.  And it was at that moment she decided to stop comparing herself to others.  For she knew that depending on who she was comparing herself to, she would either fall short, or feel good.  And her self-esteem should not be relative to who she was looking at. 

 

Suddenly she felt free, and she smiled and breathed deep.  She knew that her life was about to change.  And the possibilities were endless.