In a previous article, I had mentioned that Angelina Jolie was in India, shooting a movie. Well, last week she and Brad Pitt moved to my neck of the woods to shoot some additional scenes. In fact, they have been put up in a fancy hotel just a block from my place. Also, right next door to me is an exclusive restaurant - so exclusive, in fact, that it is not open to the public: just rented out to the "beautiful people."
So anyway, last Sunday night, my wife and I were walking home from a classical music concert (I have culture oozing out of my pores). We had almost made it to the door when this young black kid (political correctness is not one of my virtues) comes barreling out of the next door restaurant - with a lady wearing a snuggly black dress in hot pursuit - and crashes right into me. I have just grabbed hold of the child to keep us both from toppling over; when the lady bumps into me too.
So there we are, I and the lady both clinging to the kid, trying hard not to topple over. Finally, I look up and hey! That's no lady, that's La Jolie - in the flesh (and I ain't whistling Dixie). Next thing I know, I'm in a hammerlock by a beefy bodyguard with no neck. By this time, my wife is having hysterics - fortunately short lived - till she realizes that the cool dude sauntering towards us is Brad Pitt. Then she just acts silly.
To cut a long story short, it is soon sorted out that I'm no kidnapper. The little boy who caused all the fuss is their adopted son, Maddox - who had run out in a rush of exuberance. To their credit, the star couple is very courteous. Brad apologizes for his bodyguard grabbing me in a not too friendly manner. The icing on the cake? Brad and Angelina - we are on a first name basis by now - insist on making amends by inviting us into the Forbidden City for a drink. For the next dizzy half hour, my wife and I are part of the Beautiful People. Fellow Gatherers, eat your heart out.