30 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN

ouch!

Your gonna do what with that?

How about -- did you just get out of a cold swimming pool?

What the hell? Why is this acceptable? Would you be okay with demeaning naked women? I sincerely doubt it. Do you find this empowering? I think it's sick. This is a sickness that our country shares. We need to learn to respect all bodies, not merely one kind or the other.

I have to say I agree with Cat on this one. It does smack of a perverse sort of reverse sexism, doesn't it? You can't get away with belittling black folks any more, but I guess men are still fair game, eh?

OMG! This is soooooo funny!!

If it will make you feel better, tell me a blonde joke.

I don't find humor at the expense of one sex or the other. I think sex-oriented jokes can be funny, but while Steve obviously thinks he's legendary, this kind of thing could stand to do a lot of damage to someone who isn't as secure in their masculinity. Again, if I told a bunch of jokes about sagging older women would that be considered funny? I think no. I think it would be met with a lot of hostility in these parts. Please consider that in doing this you aren't just making jokes at the expense of one particular group, you're making it okay for one group to empower themselves justifiably over another group and demeaning a trait that isn't universal to the entirety of that group, ergo promoting a stigma. I just think this is irresponsible.

Steve, I don't think that I could agree more with your first comment. OUCH!!!!!

Double ouch!

Sheesh! We really have gone way too far in the land of political correctness if there is no humor found in jokes - my word!!!!!!! I think saggy woman jokes are as funny as this and I am one - Sarina, this is hysterical and I love you!!!!

: ) Thank you Denise....love you too.

Poor Sarina:(

From another saggy woman, this is freakin funny. Don't try to tell me that men don't make jokes about women and their bodies, because I know differently. All I can say is - For cryin' out loud- Lighten up!!!

So, I guess you so-called "ladies" wouldn't mind being referred to as "coyote ugly" or a "three-bagger". Right?

Paul that would be "vulger" and "immature" So we cant do that.

I've had #7, but in reverse.

I wonder, Sarina, how many of these have you used on YOUR husband? Was he amused? Or is he getting a lap-dance at a strip club right now?

She how upset they get when you talk about me, Sarina. You are OK with me.

how 'bout: "you poor thing"



Ok I will:
A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives.



To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is
your suspect. How would you recognize him?"



The first blonde answered, "That's easy! We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"



The policeman said, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."



Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How
would you recognize him?"



The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"



The policeman angrily replied, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"



Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and said, in a very testy voice, "This is your suspect. How
would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "And think hard before answering, so you don't say something completely idiotic."



The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "Hmmmm...The suspect wears contact lenses."



The policeman was stunned speechless, because he honestly didn't know whether the suspect wore contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that."



He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file in his computer, and came back beaming. "Wow!" he said, "I can't believe it...It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! But how were you able to make such an astute observation?"



"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses, because he only has one eye and one ear."

My, my, my we seem to have touched a sensitive spot here

My husband was sitting next to me laughing too. You see, he is Dutch and humor is humor and not taken offensively, but as it is intended to be. Humor.

Was he clicking his wooden shoes together?

It is the motion of the ocean.

"It's shrinkage I tell you, I just got out of the pool".
(George from a Seinfeld episode)

Jayne, you're a lucky lady..... (and he's a lucky guy).

Well, let's see what the ladies think if we turn this around:

"Wow, baby, are those your tits or a matched set of mosquito bites?"

My aunt had fried eggs with the yolks broke

Or, how about this one:
"Talk about wide-open spaces--I think I just discovered the REAL Grand Canyon!"

Loved the blonde joke Bruce....thanks for the laugh.

my girlfriend was devastated in high school when a friend make a mosquito bite joke about her small breasts.

The OB/GYN said to the woman with her feet in the stirrups: "my, you really are big down there, you really are big down there". The woman said OK, you don't have to say it twice", the doc said "I didn't".

In our society - from what I've come to understand anyway - we can't find humor in differences if the form that the humor takes is snide and if the minority being made fun of is not included. Minorities can self-malign but maligning minorities without their involvement (or perceived involvement) completely changes the context of the statements that are made. This (above) is exclusive humor - worse, that which demeans a small subsect of the sex who have a (temporary or prolonged) physical or behavioral disorder, worse, one that maintains heavy cultural connotations in our social hierarchy. I think that for lack of a better system this is right. But in the case above a person with erectile dysfunction or an abnormally small penis didn't post about their life and jokes related. Therein lies the difference. You can attempt to make me a poster child of everything grave and humorless, but if you came upon a group of people talking about "fags" I imagine your opinion of those people would depend on their status. Or whether they were holding cigarettes, I guess… I read this article as an artifact of a culture in which men's emotional needs are being marginalized. Nick wrote a good article on this here: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976736700

BTW, my breasts ARE small, and small-breast jokes ARE in fact funny.
I am blonde, and blonde jokes are NOT offensive to me.

I agree with Steve the Legend. I mean, he must be a Legend for some reason or another.

Why do people have no sense of humor lately? Panties in a wad, tightly up their anal orifice?

Oh for heavens sake, if a man is so insecure that he is marginalized by a joke like this isn't it better that we find out before the fact?

Now if Sarina were to run around actually USING these lines, we could condemn that as cruel but honestly, hasn't every woman at least thought one of these just once?

Excuse me but I have to go change the bandages on the scrapes on my ass that I got jumping off a runaway political correctness train.

Ummm Jayne, they make special body paints. That oil paint is toxic!

Cat -- since when are men a minority?

I personally think they are cute.

I am a short, fluffy woman myself and can laugh at myself.

My right leg is also shorter than my left due to a birth defect...I tell everyone I can commit the perfect crime....No detective, the criminal was 5 foot tall...this woman is 4'10.5"!!!!

I find myself coming down on both sides of this issue. As I almost always do, it makes it easy to argue with myself. When I argued with myself over this brouhaha, more or less agreeing with everyone at the same time, one of my divergent personalities made the observation that there would be redeeming social value if they were particularly clever or funny, and one or two of them are. Most of them, however, are simply snide insult humor. But, to each, her own. If they amuse you, good. If they offend you, ignore them or make whatever judgment you deem appropriate about the perpetrator.

David, I think the reference to minority might have been to a sub-category of men, those not as blessed as others, a minority, albeit a small one. (chuckle)

A C--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

A C, you should be shot. I have to pick myself off the floor now, thank you. (Read: I'm at work. I shouldn't be on the floor, laughing and ready to pee myself).

You know the sad part about this whole thing was that I knew eventually someone would make the assertion that I must have personal experience with this problem. I don't have anything even remotely resembling personal experience in this area, but it's saddening to know that I have to disclose that to justify my statements to some people.

Assassin with a large rod? You're killing me, for real! Cut it out before I have to step away from my computer screen! (And no, not because I have a large rod poking out). :)

Cat--I'm not trying to be exceptionally mean or anything, but for real. Have you ever told a joke before or listened to a joke? I'm sure at least a couple of those jokes were at the "expense" of someone else, right? Now, realistically speaking, this isn't someone "Male bashing" or "Penis bashing" for that matter... it is a joke. You really should look into "lightening up" and stop taking this so serious.

It's saddening that we're going to have to include a disclaimer on a damn joke.

People this is silly
Guys; if it reaches from you to her, thats long enough
Girls; if they feed your kids, they are big enough
Anything else is fashion, and inappropriate too