I have a 17 year old son, need I say more? Ok, I'll explain. Those of you with teens can possibly relate and in fact, I would love to hear back if you do.
It would be great if children came packaged up with a set up instructions, but they don't. We drudge along, doing the best we can and perhaps, if we were lucky enough to have grown up in a halfway decent family environment ourselves, then we have a little voice within ourselves that helps us with timely quips or quotations from those who's advice we respected . I sed to hear these helpful little tips within my own head when my kids were small. Usually, the inner helping hands came from my grandmother, whom I always admired for her soft nature and conscientious care she gave to everything. Long after grandma passed, I would naturally recall memories of days in my childhood where she stepped in with some soft words of guidance that kept me on the right track.. soft words that I shared with my own young ones through the years.
However, both my children are now teens and for whatever reason, through the last few years, grandmas's invaluable influence has proved itself less and less. Perhaps because I'm going through experiences with my own teens that I did not personally experience myself. This is a different time for teens now, with more agressive state standards and pressures to achieve higher and faster in school, the wide range of social networking through advanced techology and gaming and the general hightened awareness of our nation's struggles and ongoing threats of terrorism. My teens are subject to so much more in the way of pressures than I was when I was there age. This is not an excuse for them, don't get me wrong. But this teen time has proved to be an area I need some extra help in.
Lately, I've been leaning on Dr.Phil for advice. I watch the show once in a while, but I'm by no means a regular. Still, I guess I've seen enough shows to have respect for his advice, advice that apparently fits into this stage of my life a little more conveniently than grandmas's does. I'll be driving in my car after lecture #1001 with my son and think to myself "What would Dr. Phil say?". I picture Dr. Phil sitting there, my son and I in separate chairs next to him. He's waving his hands in the air and telling my son how to get better grades and be more responsible and my son nods his head in agreement. I have a confident smile on my face knowing this is advice that won't be ignored, dispite the fact that I've said it myself a thousand times before.
Ah well, maybe all it comes down to is that the Dr. Phil advice running around in my head when things get tough, is the extra boost I need that gives me the confidence to tackle lecture #10002.
Grandma's influence is still gently rumbling around back there when I need to call on it, but it's also nice to have Dr. Phil to call on as well. I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about that? :o)
Copyright Karlyn :: http://www.Karlyns.com :: Nov. 2006
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P.S. Pay no attention to those who say you're raising them wrong. Even the most perfect parent can have a teen to "crack up". It is just plain old luck that their children are behaving responsibly (for now).