"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
- Mohandas K. ("The Mahatma") Gandhi
Far be it for me to disagree with Mr. Gandhi, but I would say those conditions would produce more satisfaction and contentment with life than happiness.
Happiness--though elusive to find because it's not something we can "discover"--involves more than just having the whole package together and coherent. It's necessary for a happy person to know that he or she is on the right track for life, that what they are doing is right and good.
Does that mean that a person whose life is lead in a haphazard manner can't be happy, or that a person who does bad things can't be happy?
Happiness can be whatever you define it to be. You can define your lifestyle in such a way that you can say that you are happy. It may allow you to be as happy as you can be.
Oddly, many people don't do that. The more material possessions people have and the more financial security they have locked down, the more they are apt to say that they are not yet as happy as they would like to be.
Who are the happiest people in the world? Within the past couple of years a United Nations study announced that Nigerians were, as a people, the happiest. This despite poverty, sectarian strife and tribal animosities in the oil-rich African nation.
The people of Nigeria aren't all happy, of course. They just rate themselves, individually, as happier than people of any other country.
What they think, say and do may be in harmony, but there must be more to their happiness than that. They think happiness. They act happiness. They believe in happiness. They teach happiness as a way of life to their children. They value the happy times of their lives.
All bad times end. People in many parts of the world are conditioned to think "times are bad" even when they are at their best. To them, times are never good. Except in the past, when they were nearly perfect.
If by remembering the good times of the past makes us happy about them, then we should focus more on the good things that are happening in our lives today than we do on the bad things.
Empower your good feelings by giving them more attention.
Bad stuff happens, but we don't have to dwell on it and make it a central part of our lives.
Good stuff happens too. Tag, you're it! Pass it on!
Bill Allin
Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems, striving to show you the good times of your life.
Learn more at http://billallin.com
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Comments: 19
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Debra
sermonfodder.gather.com
Sue, passion is a word that is always positive (reference to Debra's article). It is never used in the negative, as "unpassionate."
Linda, so right! There is no "pursuit of happiness," as such. We have to start happiness as a small project within ourselves, then build it outward from there. By the time it reaches our skin, we have to give it away to improve it.
In my opinion (excrutiatingly considered, I must add), the most undervalued item on your list (by many people) is "something to pet." Touch is a basic need of humans, as it is for all social animals. Without it, we can't be happy.
Thanks for focusing our thoughts on this important subject, Bill.
You are correct that words can mean different things to different people, especially their connotative meanings (the ones we understand, but can't be found in dictionaries).
I interpret contentment as a state of peace and tranquility, of not being in conflict with the world. Happiness, on the other hand, (to me) is an active emotional state.
contentment = passive happiness = active
We could build on a state of happiness, whereas a state of contentment could only be accepted as it is.
I hope that makes sense. I am reminded of a very old commercial for Carnation Milk that said that it came from contented cows. I can see that cows could be content, but I can't imagine them being so happy as to really enjoy life.
Question 2: Yes, some people do achieve true contentment and others real happiness.
One does not derive contentment solely from reaching one's life destiny. Truly worthy persons never reach that position, except maybe on their deathbed.
A sow's ear is still a sow's ear. But some people are content with the sow's ear. Provided the rest of the sow is not with it in their bed.
Contentment is the feeling that the saying portrays:"God is in His Heaven, All is right with the world." Contentment is curling up with a good book, a glowing fire, dog at your feet, and the feeling that you have accomplished something today.
Your article was very thought provoking Bill. Now I have something to think about the rest of the day.
Perfectionism is indeed an impediment to contentment. By definition, a perfectionist is never satisfied.
June, you provided excellent examples. Thanks.
Amanda, I used to suffer greatly from the pain of my life, especially from the loss of my two children. Now I choose to not suffer from even physical pain (unless it's in my head--nerve pain is harder to control the closer it gets to the brain, I believe).
You didn't choose to be "mentally ill." However, you can choose whether or not you suffer as a result of it.
If you are searching for sunshine, don't look into a pit.