Abortion, Is That The Choice?

You have written how you feel, but can you speak for the woman who seeks an abortion?

Well, that's obvious isn't it? No, I can't. Why is abortion the only choice for women now? It just isn't logical in my mind. I know there are rapes, incest and the like, but really, societal shame is no longer an issue. Teens are crossing the stages pregnant at their high school graduations for heaven's sake. Why not have the baby and put the baby up for adoption?

I for one, am glad that the shame over premarital sex and pregnancy without marriage has all but disappeared. And I am extremely thankful that abortion is legal, should the need ever arise.

I'm apparently a bit younger than you, having been born in the mid 60's. However, I also do not see why abortion seems to be the only solution for so many. Women/girls think that they couldn't handle giving their baby to someone else. But how can they just "get rid" of it instead? I am NOT speaking about instances of rape, incest & the like, but it seems that for most it's become just an easy solution. Instead they should be taking precautions NOT to get pregnant. I also think that our society has misled people into thinking it's not a baby yet. What most people don't realize is that it is a perfectly formed little human being before they even find out they are pregnant. I did training for a pregnancy alternatives center once that helped give girls/woman better options for their unplanned pregnancies. The pictures I saw during that training have been burned into my brain as horrific. I could never ever consider an abortion, nor encourage anyone else to. Instead I would do whatever is in my power to encourage them NOT to have one. So many people are waiting to adopt babies and can even pay for the medical expenses. I also have seen women who had abortions go through serious emotional trauma long after the fact - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - it usually starts several YEARS after the abortion. They don't tell women that when they're getting ready to have an abortion. It's touted as a "simple procedure" but many who have abortions are never able to carry children later. It's a sad sad thing, in my opinion, that anyone ever figured out they could abort & kill babies in this way.

*DISCLAIMER* ...just my humble opinion, take it or leave it...
Well, the first thing that popped into my head was 'rape'. In a case like that, I would MUCH rather see a woman get an abortion than go on to despise everything that child represented to her. That would be a life sentence for that child if she kept it. While I understand that adoption would still be an option...it could still be 9 months of a mental prison sentence if you are the victim. At that point, not only would she suffer, but ultimately due to stress and anxiety levels, so would the child. Even if it were only for the 9 months that she carried it. That is of course, if she were to place it up for adoption after birth... If she is not strong enough mentally to keep or carry this child, or be guarenteed it will not reap any anomosity that its mother holds to its father -then it is in the childs BEST interest to not even be brought into this world...Otherwise, not only does the mother become a victim, but so would the child.

I personally would not choose an abortion. However, I've taken my friend and supported her when she went. I also had every "excuse" to abort, being a rape victim. I absolutely believe that although I've made the best of my situation and raised my son. That CHOICE should be there. It should be safe and sanitary.

I will say that no one can honestly judge when they have not walked in someone's shoes. I have friends who've come out of domestic abuse and have decided not to continue a pregnancy.

Because of my personal beliefs about God, I believe those precious babies get to go to Heaven to be in peace, instead of being in a place where they may be mistreated.

I also work in social services. There are, without a doubt THOUSANDS of unwanted and mistreated children in our system. Some of them, I'm sure would have chosen the peace of Heaven over hell on earth.

An idealogical view would be "well a woman doesn't have to keep the baby, there are always adoptions". Well no there aren't. There are not as many people who will adopt ethnic or special needs children. Also adoptions are cost prohibitive.

If you want something that will REALLY have an impact on reducing the number of abortions, that would be minimal adoption costs.

I have seen, first hand, a 9 year old, in foster care for 4, severely abused her entire life. A foster family wanted to adopt her. They were refused because if they adopted her, they would have too many children to continue foster care.

The system needs revamping.

People often say "Women shouldn't have abortions" but then don't have a plan of action for those who don't. Churches are the BEST at doing this (IMO). Don't do this, Don't DO THIS. It's Wrong, It's a SIN....then a teenage mom keeps her baby and she's gossiped about, talked about. People don't embrace her and give her support.

Ok I'm hushing now. I'll keep my eye on this thread. Thanks for writing it.

But Barbara, who said that a lot of young women who find themselves pregnant don't turn to adoption? I personally can think of 3 friends over the cause of the years who went the route of open adoptions.

Wendy may I offer that all children of rape are not victims of animosity.

I have a children born out of a very violent rape. My older children were also threatened and traumatized in this situation. Still, for some reason my mind and heart has been able to seperate the two. My son is 14 now. He's amazing. I can't imagine what it would be like without him.

Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of a trait from his sperm donor. It catches my breath, but I don't dwell on it. I have a miracle.

Even with all I've been through, and I CAN say that "well it can be done". I still firmly believe that abortion should be an option for some situations.

"What most people don't realize is that it is a perfectly formed little human being before they even find out they are pregnant".
That statement is not true...
an after conception time line...
3 weeks: The embryo is now about 1/12" long, the size of a pencil point. It most closely resembles a worm - long and thin and with a segmented end. Its heart begins to beat about 18 to 21 days after conception. Before this time, the woman might have noticed that her menstrual period is late; she might suspect that she is pregnant and conduct a pregnancy test. If it is an unwanted pregnancy, she might have already arranged and carried through with an abortion.
4 weeks: The embryo is now about 1/5" long. It looks something like a tadpole. The structure that will develop into a head is visible, as is a noticeable tail. The embryo has structures like the gills of a fish in the area that will later develop into a throat.
7 weeks: The embryo has almost lost its tail. "The face is mammalian but somewhat pig-like."

taken from this randomly chosen googled web site...http://www.religioustolerance.org/abo_fetu.htm

Nicole,
I commend you for being able to do it. Sadly, a lot cannot. While I am extremely happy that your child has benefited from your outlook, if even one out there did not have your outlook, [for whatever reason] it would be tragic for the child. Those that couldn't overcome it, should be allowed the option. Their choice may be in the best interest of the child, ultimately, making it the best choice.

You have wrote about the issue of abortion through your eyes. However, you failed to mention the other side. You failed to argue abortion through the eyes of a woman who wants/need an abortion in this day and age. Perhaps, your article wasn't meant to be construed as an argument at all. Perhpas, you were only stating your opinion?

Have you ever talked to a young woman considering abortion?
One that feels she has no other option?

Have you felt her dispair? It's real. If you open your heart you'll feel her pain and anguish. It's never an easy decision. And, those that would tell you that its used as birth control have neither faced the situation themselves nor befriended someone who made the decision.

As a young woman I am wise enough to understand not everyone is as lucky as me. I had a positive home environment. I had a mother and father who loved me and nurtured me. We may not have agreed all the time. And, we did have our spats. But, it is a great home. We were raised as a church family and surrounded with the Bible.

Not everyone has two loving parents.

Some don't even have one.

Some children hurt so much they cut their wrists just to make sure they are still real. Some children won't eat mashed potatoes because it reminds them of an unwanted sexual encounted with their dad/uncle/brother/granpa. The hurt is real. And, it's not going away.

These hurt children turn to boyfriends and sex for comfort. And, in turn end up pregnant.

Until you fix their hurt and their pain you can't wipe out abortion.

You'll only find more of them in garbage cans.

They have lost the ability to feel as a result of their tramautic exsistance.

How do I know this?

I work with these children because I was also an abused child. It's part of my healing. The worse case I saw were two sisters 13 and 11 who were abused by their father sexually. Their mother ignored it. She couldn't admit to herself that her husband had a thing for her girls. Imagine everyone's surprise when she turned up pregnant. Yes, by her own father while under the care of Children's Services and the local Court.

I've seen many cases of dysfunctional families. Can you imagine carrying your sister in your belly? Giving birth to your step brother?

Society itself is dysfunctional. And, eliminating abortion will not fix the family. Your focus is on the wrong thing.

I am takening the 5th I think it's a personal thing and if the woman feels she needs one than that's for her to decide it's her that will have to answer to the higher power not us .I do belive God said judge not lest you be judge.

Thank you all for posting. I know that this is a touchy subject. I have a friend who was raped as a teen and she had an abortion. She hasn't had a stable life since then. She is wandering through her life, alone. She's in her forties and has never married, never will. So, I understand the angst of becoming pregnant from a rape. But, teens who have sex, get into trouble, and then have an abortion, where is the justice in killing that baby? Or, for example, the married woman, not on birth control who uses the clinic to have them do it for her, again, taking the baby's life instead. I'm not advocating the total dismissal of abortion, but, why do women feel it's the only choice? Churches and organizations will help, they aren't all the worst choice, I'm sure.
Renita has made some good points in her posting. She holds the views I do as well.
Nicole, I'm not totally convinced of your argument about adoption not being an alternative.
Wendy, I can see your point as well. It would be hard to carry the child for nine months and have the rage and fear felt for that time as a carryover from the assault. But, the baby could still lead a purposeful life in a stable home through adoption.

Time lines in the gestation period are all well and good. I didn't know I was pregnant with my daugher til I was in about my third month. I think my baby was developed at that point with a heartbeat and was a living human growing in my belly. I do think the public is misled to believe that they are not living in that time period, but I don't agree with that.
I felt my baby move in that third month, a butterfly type of twittering. I knew it was her, my baby. So, to think that when I found out I was definitely pregnant, my baby was living, and to do away with her through abortion would have been devastating to me. I was blessed with a good marriage and that was not even in the equation.
Perhaps I am speaking from the heart, and I doubt why women seek abortions. But really, with birth control in so many forms, and with so many seeking adoption, why is abortion the only choice in our "anything goes" society?

In the past the shame associated with a teenage pregnancy was normally parental. It was about familial shame. I am sure that women have plenty of reasons for selecting abortion over adoption, and I'm sure the decision to abort isn't an easy one to make. I don't think that it should be used as birth control, but I'm sure there are plenty of women that use abortion as a back up plan, my reason for saying this is I know a person that had four abortions, and another person that had eight (you read it right 8); and lecturing them about birth control did no good, here attitude was "so what", so I had to cut them out of my life. I think every woman thinks about it when they get pregnant, even those that would never do it and if only for a moment because it is a legal option. Some women have abortions because the man doesn't respond like they hoped he would. Some men can become very cruel when faced with parenthood, some even turn to murder and kill the mother and the child. For whatever reasons choices are made that many see as wrong, but the person making the choice sees it as the best option for them.

Ok I know that not everyone agrees with the time line..that said, for what it's worth here is a bit more of it...[IMHO, the last line is of relative importantance to this thread, also notice that at 10 weeks it is now referred to as a fetus, rather than an embryo]
2 months: The embryo's face resembles that of a primate but is not fully human in appearance. Some of the brain begins to form; this is the primitive "reptilian brain" that will function throughout life. The embryo will respond to prodding, although it has no consciousness at this stage of development. The brain's higher functions do not develop until much later in pregnancy

10 weeks: The embryo is now called a fetus. Its face looks human; its gender may be detectable via ultrasound.

13 weeks or 3 months: The fetus is about 3 inches long and weighs about an ounce. Fingernails and bones can be seen. Over 90% of all abortions are performed before this stage.

The fact is that abortion is considered the "only choice" because of the pro-abortion lobby. Many people, who consider themselves "pro-choice", refuse to recognize a pro-abortion lobby but the fact remains that many of the so called "pro-choice" organizations are promoted by the very organizations that promote and perform abortions. You can't deny that they have a vested interest in promoting abortions as a solution. They often hide this rhetoric in the "right to an abortion." The nature of the right aside, just because you have a right doesn't mean you have to do it.

If you really want to be pro-choice you need to be able to do two things; provide the person with all the choices available in a clam and rational manner as possible so that the person is properly informed of all choices and can make an informed decision and provide the person with the resources to be able to freely choice each of the choices offered.

This is why it is really a joke that inside every "conservative" pro-life person is an ultra-liberal yearning to break out and breathe free. If you want to encourage adoption, that's going to cost money. If you want to give people other options other than a medical abortion procedure, especially those who can't afford other options, then that is going to cost money. I suppose we would have to raise taxes to pay for this … think of the children! Those abortions procedures, which don't even follow all the expense of the safeguards for other medical procedures, certainly don't cost a lot of money. Those darn liberals are being frugal and cheap again. How dare they!

Before I try to read all the responses, let me give my initial reaction, and then I'll react again if necessary. I think it is good that so much of the shame is gone from unmarried pregnancy. However, not all the shame has disappeared. There are still many people who view a pregnancy out of wedlock as a shameful thing. And while birth control is widely available and extremely effective, it is not 100% effective. Accidents happen. Even the most careful person can get in trouble. When I was in college I knew of several girls who chose to have an abortion. They weren't stupid about sex, but their protection failed. As they saw it, their choice was to drop out of college and become a single, low paid mother, or get an abortion and continue their studies. Regardless of shame, being a single mother, with little education is extremely difficult in our society. And being a single mother trying to finish college is even harder. Trust me, I have a cousin who barely did it. Not all women have emotional or monetary support from their family to raise a child as a single mother. Some women know they are not ready to have a child. And, frankly, some women simply don't want to have children. While having the child and putting it up for adoption is an option, it is an option that requires the woman to go through with the pregnancy. That can be very difficult emotionally or otherwise for a woman. And even if you give up the child, you still lose a lot of your life for that 9 months. I think that adoption is a very difficult and emotional choice for a woman to make. I'm not sure we, as a society, have a clear understanding of how making that choice may effect the woman for the rest of her life from an emotional point. However, I think it is important for the woman to have the choice to make that decision. Abortion is not a form of birth control. And I'm just going to throw this out there, but I think when men are able to make more effective and reliable choices about birth control, I think abortion will remain a problem. Imagine how much less the chance of pregnancy would be if both the woman and the man were using a form of birth control that was 98% or 99% effective.

So many people assume that an unwanted pregancy results in an unwanted child. The majority of people that choose to carry out their unwanted pregancies love their children. But for those that don't, is it really better to state that it would be better for that child to never have been born? Do we kill people that are abused or suffering to put them out of their misery? Doing so would be murder, yet abortion...not even allowing a child to live on the chance that it might not be happy...is considerd acceptable.

Barbara

You bring up a very good point. Why are women so apt to abort, rather than simply practice a modicum of responsibility - especially when the pill is handed out in many clinics free of charge for those who can't afford... Really, the chances of the pill not working, if taken properly, are beyond slim!

In my opinion, it boils down to a lack of moral fiber and accountability in the mainstream today. It seems no one would ever sacrifice of themselves or take responsibility for the simplest of tasks, let alone for another life. And with the invasion of this ''progressive'' secularist attitude, it teaches our children that; "anything goes" and nothing it seems, is sacred anymore.

Married couples have been officially declared the new minority group, there are aging problems across the Globe because of severely declining birth rates... This is due to a 'culture' and society that embraces self-absorption; nothing else...

This is the issue - abortion is legal, OK, great, but now that is not enough, now it has to be - on demand, without restrictions, for stem cell research, partial birth, late-term... And abortions are occurring in record numbers. Where do we draw the line? Of course, we do not want women going to have back alley abortions such as occurred in your time, but this shows that when you give an inch, some take a mile.

Too many freedoms without restrictions can never amount to any good.

Now that I have read all the responses, my only other comment is that I didn't realize how many rape victims become pregnant. This is a caveat we always use in the abortion argument: what about the rape victim? However, I didn't realize that pregnancies resulting from rape were so common. Perhaps this is not a good cross section of rape victims, but there seem to be quite a few women here who suffered rape and then became pregnant. I have learned something today.

Tiffany, thank you for your insight. All of you have made some good points here. I'm glad I brought this subject up today. Personal responsibilty is something we need to instill in our young people. It does seem that today's teens are irresponsible as well as older adults. Of course, abortion should be allowed for certain reasons, I agree.
Also, teaching our kids to save themselves for marriage would seem to be a good alternative to promiscuous sex is another option. I suppose that is why it was shameful in my younger years to get pregnant as virginity was the norm. Well, maybe I was in the minority, I don't know for sure. But, I know I was a virgin at marriage and I have a stable life, with a daughter who has a stable life as well. I instilled in her the value of giving her husband the most precious gift she could on their wedding night. Call me old fashioned, but I still think it's the best gift a newlywed couple could give one another. Living together before marriage ends in more marriages going to the divorce courts. Ok, I'm off the soapbox now.
Society needs to re-think what we are teaching, advocating, and allowing with our kids.

I can see your points, Angela. Thank you for sharing your opinion.

Some women are too lazy to use birth control, still others use abortion as a form of birth control, some young women and girls "get caught" and I wont even go into rape and children of molestation for they are truly innocent - I am 49 going on 50 and just found out yesterday that I am pregnant - my youngest child is 24 - I have many serious health problems and my doctor has advised abortion because he does not feel I can survive the pregnancy - for me, abortion is just NOT an option.

Debra, may God bless you in your choice.

What is extremely obvious to me, reading all of the comments here, is one, men can have an opinion, but should have no say, and two, only the woman involved can decide what is right in her situation. Anything else is a violation of a woman's right to make this most personal of choices, personally. In other words, mind your own damned business.

Ron, is that all you have to say? Don't you have an opinion in the abortion issue as to why it is necessary in today's society? Birth control, celibacy, responsibility, those are the issues here. Rape, incest, health issues, those are different and should be reasons for women to seek an abortion. Are we failing our children in freely accepting abortion? That's the question.

One more comment on this. Why is it that the right wing is all for preventing the death of a human life through abortion (I obviously don't agree on their interpretation of when life begins), and yet so in a hurry to send our troops in harms way for nothing, and to end human life with the death penalty? Cute cuddly babies grow up to be not so cute adults, but that makes them no less a life. Isn't this just another example of the rampant hypocrisy this ideology fosters? Barbara, don't hate me, your going to make beaucoup points from this one.

Ron, I again ask you. Do you believe we are failing our children by freely accepting abortion as something that can be easily done to rid an unwanted pregnancy?

Barbara B.,
It's not our business. It involves only one choice, and that is the personal decision of the woman involved. I am opposed to partial birth, because my feeling is, there is no life until it can exist on it's own, and some of those babies could do that, but this whole issue, up to that point, is about a woman's body, and what she wants to do with it. Morals are good things, instill them in your children while you are raising them, but at adulthood, it is their decision, and only theirs.

Barbara.

That is not a fair question. We are failing out children by not teaching them about contraceptives and comprehensive sex education. The abstinence only pledges that students are filling out in high school aren't working. Young women are still getting pregnant. In the demographic I work in they usually don't choose abortion. They keep the baby and settle for a life of poverty. Had we told them all along how to prevent pregnancy their lives would be much better and healthier.

Ron, I agree with you on the fact that it is a woman's choice. I only wonder why women in the first place get pregnant in a situation where it will not be beneficial for them or their child. Birth control, celibacy, responsibility, those are the things we are missing in teaching our kids, I feel. Instead, adults teach, by action and by word, irresponsibility, free sex, live-in couples and offer abortion as the fix-it for those who get caught by an unwanted pregnancy.
Joe, I agree with you when you say we are failing our children. Again, we agree on a topic. Oh, by the way, I am a Christian. I forgot to tell you that in a previous posting we discussed.

While it may not seem that having an abortion isn't a good way to go, I believe that decision lies with the woman, because it is her body. My family knew a young girl in 1970, whom was pregnant but was advised by her doctor to abort the pregnancy, or she could die. Her family were religious icons in the community and didn't allow their daughter the option of abortion. She died in 1970 when complications from the pregnancy arose. That poor little baby lived, and had to grow up without knowing her mom. I believe in pro-choice because I believe people should have the right to make their own choices in life.

You said it Barbara - fix the family and this will be a nonissue.

The legality of abortion is a non issue. And, if Roe v. Wade is overturned there will not be a miracle healing of all these families. Do you think that live in couple will suddenly decide to get married because Roe v. Wade is overturned?

Do you think that young couple will stop having sex because Roe v. Wade was overturned?

Making abortion illegal will not solve any of the problems you mention.

You cannot legislate morality. To try to make a law to somehow create family values will not work.

Barbara,
They do because we fail them. Children get their moral outlook early in life, a time that most these days are spending 8 to 10 hours in child care. It takes a lot of work to raise kids, and even if you do give them rock solid morals, the hormone levels raging in most teenagers bodies can drown out any voice from the past in their heads. I also know from being witness to it, how an unplanned pregnancy and birth can totally ruin a very promising future for a girl. I think it important that the choice be their own, as not everyone will make the decision that's right for them, with people talking in the left and right ear.

Why are we talking about life that isn't here yet.

But, failing to mention the thousands that are dying in Darfur.

If we can't take care of the lives already on Earth how are you going to take care of the unborn?

I also respect opinions. I don't judge those who have chosen abortion as the answer for an unwanted pregnancy. Note my reference to my friend who was raped as a teenager and ended the pregnancy. I am asking the question as to why it is a popular choice, seemingly to me, for so many women in such a forgiving society. Adoption is a choice, also.

And Paul, I know the trials of pregnancy also. I was 21 when I gave birth to my daughter. Strep infection in my upper respiratory system traveled to my baby and we both nearly died from it in early '72. We were lucky.

I guess while I don't advocate abortion for the mainstream, I do feel it is a necessary option to keep for those who are rape victims, incest victims, and those who are not physically able to carry their babies.

My thoughts pretty much surround the fact that abortion seems to be the issue of our government officials, on both sides of the aisle. But, when it all comes down to the bare nuts, it's society that has to educate the young and allow them to make the good, responsible decisions to have children of their own in the best scenerios possible.

Remember, it wasn't that long ago that young people were forced to get married when an unintended pregnancy happened.

ROBIN: I truly respect your points of view but this contradiction didn't gel:
"I had a mother and father who loved me and nurtured me. We may not have agreed all the time. And, we did have our spats. But, it is a great home. We were raised as a church family and surrounded with the Bible" ........ "I work with these children because I was also an abused child. It's part of my healing."

DEBRA -- You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I think this is one of the extreme cases that require more than just staunch black and white thinking. Get more doctors opinions.... Keep us informed. Be careful... HUGS

BARBARA -- You picked quite the topic to discuss and you got some amazing feedback. The truth of the matter is that I do not believe that abortion is the answer unless, after several doctors agreeing, the mother will die if she has the child. Even then, it's an extremely personal choice. Some would argue that this is not a time to consider abortion either. To sum it all up, I believe the moral fiber of our society is so skewed that it's made it impossible for even grounded people to see straight on the issue, nevermind the pregnant teen who sleeps around, nevermind the woman who uses abortion as birth control... Aside from those that don't think twice, those of us who DO think twice will question our own firm stand now and then -- It's tough living in a time where we can easily step on either platform and be "right" to a majority mindset.

Robin, Roe vs. Wade is another issue altogether in my mind. By making it legal to have an abortion on demand has degraded society. While protecting those who would have back-alley abortions, it has saved lives. Turning over Roe vs. Wade is not the answer to this issue. Educating our young is the answer.

Yes, Heather, is it no wonder that those with the "powers that be" are so divided on this issue? I know that we can't make every home a loving, supportive home for their kids, but how can we, as mainstream society, make a difference in the lives of those who live in dysfunctional, illicit homes?

I also know that teens hormones rage and will do things that aren't in their own best interests in the heat of the moment. But, we have a responsibility to them to say "no" as I see it.

With the debate amongst our leaders, maybe too MUCH emphasis is placed on abortions being a personal choice, which it is, with too LITTLE emphasis on being responsible.

My opinion is I could not have an abortion now weather I feel other women should well I feel everyone should have the right to chose. We don't know what the sercumstances are. We don't walk in their shoes so why should we make that choice for them???

Jewel, that isn't my question. I can't make that decision for them. I don't walk in their shoes. Why aren't we looking at finding ways to prevent the pregnancy to begin with? Why aren't women putting their unwanted children up for adoption instead of killing them? Abortions, I believe, are the answer for women who are irresponsible in too many cases.

The good thing about freedom of choice is that each decision is up to the individual in question. I, personally opted to not to have an abortion when I knew that it would be a health risk to me. Others may make a different choice for their own reasons. As far as abortion being a popular choice, I am not sure it really is. I believe having the baby would probably be the most popular choice, but we won't ever be able to accurately represent those numbers in our statistics books.

It is a highly personal choice and should be available to all who need it. I agree that more needs to be done in the area of prevention, but what if all is done and an unwanted pregnancy still occurs?

Well, how about everybody be required to use birth control. Then when they plan on having a baby, they talk to their doctor, and they go through planned parenting classes first. Upon completion, they go off of birth control. Or they don't have sex at all, but that won't happen.

You are right Tamara, we probably don't know how many babies are taken. I would imagine there are records, closed, but on record nonetheless, of how many abortions are done in the clinics.

I hope you are well and the choice you made turned out well for you.

Barbara, thank you. I had to take medicines during the pregnancy, I was worried the whole time. My son was thought to have Down Syndrome, as well. In the end, the labor was the smoothest of my three, and my baby and I were in great condition. I'm glad I didn't prevent his birth.

My mom became pregnant with my younger brother at the age of 36 and delivered him at the age of 37 in 1960. He wasn't planned as I was almost ten and my parents thought they were through having children. There will always be children who are not planned. It's how we accept those who were not planned, that's what's important. We live in a "throw-away" society, too. Babies end up in toilets, dumpsters, and the like. That's another article. We are failing our kids, that's the bottom line.

Tamara, I'm happy for you! That's wonderful!

A lot of comments and a lot of good points...however...the one phrase that kept sticking out to me was "why is abortion the only choice for women now?"....who the heck said it WAS the only choice. Women know their options, and as long as it is legal they will make their own choices. Do I think abortion should be used as a twisted form of birth control? Of course not!! Am I glad it's legal if needed...VERY much so! I myself had to have an abortion at one time because I was told if I carried the baby, the chances of survival for EITHER of us were slim. It was a difficult decision I prayed very hard over. In cases of rape or incest, I would fully support any woman who chose abortion. A woman knows what her body and mind can handle. I personally would never have been able to carry a child for nine months while it grew inside me and then freely give it to someone else to raise. BUT ...thats just ME. I know myself well enough to know I could not handle that. I was date raped at 18, carried the baby and raised her. Would I have been able to do so if it were a more violent situation or incest...I don't know...but I doubt it.
Abortion will forever be a touchy subject, because it is one in which everyone believes their opinion to be the correct opinion.
However, if ANY woman believes that abortion is their only option.....they are severly misinformed and need to be educated. Just my opinion

Just a note here to inject some reference, but in recent polls, there is a large difference about at what point an abortion should not be allowed, but the number of people that feel that there should be some form of accessible abortion is around two to one in relation to those that feel abortion should be illegal period, or for only instances of rape, etc. Partial birth seems to be unpopular with almost all, though.

No form of birth control is 100% except NOT HAVEING SEX. So this maybe one reason they do it they tried man made ways to stop them from getting pregant BUT it FAILED them.I still say and agree with Ron it is the womans place to decide what she is going to do NOT OURS.

A quick scan of the comments left me wondering how anyone could think that an abortion is an "easy way out". Do you think that choosing to end a pregnancy, wanted or unwanted, is an EASY choice for anyone? A woman still has to live with that decision for her entire life, either way.

There will always, unfortunately, be that small percentage of people who do use abortion as birth control instead of taking on responsible methods, but we should never let the minority rule and end up having the freedom to choose taken away because of those who misuse it.

OK, here are my opinions:

Men should have EQUAL responsibility for birth control. That will probably happen when women scientists start creating new forms of birth control.

With the current asinine administration that advocates teaching nothing but abstinence, and takes away funding for all clinics performing abortions, we are not going to make any headway in the education department.

The issue of abortion is quite complicated and has many factors. It is far from being as simple as "they think it's the only choice they have". Age, parental involvement or lack thereof, partner involvement/lack thereof/violence, failure of birth control, ability of mother to provide for child, status of life at time of pregnancy (i.e. going to college, starting a career, getting a divorce), emotional stability of mother to consider carrying child to term...these are only some of them.

I know there are women who just get another abortion every time they get pregnant, which I believe is about as lacking in morals and ethics as one can get. But please do not paint every woman who gets an abortion that way because we all know it absolutely is not true.

I believe abortion is a personal decision. I believe the right to have an abortion should always exist. I believe (non-violent, reasonable and non-related) men should have input in the decision making process but no "rights" as to the final decision.

Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, the issue here in terms of abortion being legal or not is this: We would be setting an extremely bad precedent to allow a law to be put on the books that governs what we can do with our own bodies. You can look at it any way you want to and none of them are pretty as far as the baby-killing realities of it are concerned. But we do NOT want the government to be able to tell us what we can and cannot do with our own bodies. Imagine the precedent that would set and where this insane administration could take that one!!!

And another point if they give the kid up for adoption there's no way of knowing it will will be to a good home,look at the number of kids killed,and abused now adays.

Very well thought-out points, Wendy S. I absolutely agree.

Abortion, Is That The Choice?Back to the topic for some yes for others no but the point is it's their choice.

I don't think that it should be used as birth control, but I'm sure there are plenty of "women that use abortion as a back up plan, my reason for saying this is I know a person that had four abortions, and another person that had eight (you read it right 8); and lecturing them about birth control did no good, here attitude was "so what", so I had to cut them out of my life."
written by, CANDY k. commented Nov 3, 2006

Laura, it seems for some this is an easy way out. Should it be? I don't think so. I advocate education, birth control and personal responsibility. It's really about values. Has our society lost them completely?

Yes, but that would be the War in Iraq - another topic entirely.

Laura and Wendy....I absolutely agree with what BOTH of you had to say on this! :)

Now, Wendy, that is in opposition to what you believe on abortion. How can people defend abortion, killing a life, and then say that people dying in a war is wrong? I don't see the logic in that. If you are against abortion, then it would be logical to be against war.

And, you are right. That's another subject entirely. But, those who have volunteered to join and serve is their choice, not their mother's.

I think what I wanted to see was how other people think regarding this volatile issue. I believe we all agree with each other to some extent.

However, if you are in the life of any child, your child or a friend's child, teenager, boy or girl, do this. Live your life as an example to them, teach them through your words and actions. Show them there is a better way to live so they will not be faced with the terrible decision of giving up a child to adoption or killing them through abortion so they can live the lives they choose. Responsibility is in our hands to teach the children. It can be a better world if we do this. Thank you all for your comments and insightful experiences. May God bless you all!

Well some woman, myself included, cannot take birth control pills....they cause severe medical problems and serious disease, sometimes, such as dangerously elevated blood pressure, fibromyalgia, poly-cystic disease and many others.
What is left is abstinence (yeah right) condoms, foams, etc. The first being a sure way not to get pregnant but the other two definitely not as effective.
Thankfully, at this age I don't have to worry about it but did for soooo many years.
I can only say this..... I would never, myself, abort a baby for any reason that I can think of. Nor, would I ever commit suicide or assisted suicide or any such life-taking action. But I do defend each and every one of us and our rights to be able to chose what is best for us after considering all of the circumstances and options.
As the old saying goes....'Walk a mile in someone's shoes before you judge them.' And I agree with that. This has always been a difficult topic for me to form a 'solid' opinon about. Bringing thousands of unwanted children into a already explosive and fragile world seems crazy. Throwing them away as unwanted garbage is just as offensive to me. So, I stand by my thought....it is our choice....we have to live with it and any consequences that come about as a result, either in this life or beyond. The choice does, however need to be there for us to each individually make. And, we, as a society, need to make sure that our medical doctors and hospitals have the most modern techniques and facilities available so that we may never have to worry about women experiencing what you mentioned with the 'coat hangers' again. That thought and what went on before is very 'chilling' to me.
Now, war is another story totally for me and I abstain from commenting on that one....but thanks for putting this together Barbara and giving us this forum to express our opinions.

Good to see so many point of views. It seems I camein very late. So most of what I wanted to write has been already written.

Personally I do not endorse abortion but for some there is no choice. We all have the right to choose the way we want to live.

Children are a gift grom God.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:

and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

Psalm 127:3

Thank you Lori, guatami,and Michelle. I appreciate all of you for your messages you have shared.

Ron,
Why should a man or anyone for that matter have any say about another person undergoing an invasive surgical procedure? You have no to right to that.

If a man should have a say in whether or not a woman has an abortion then it should be mandatory the man being granted the say should have to be castrated (and vasectomy is not an option) at the same time to prevent the man from producing any more children to be aborted on down the road.

Are you willing to allow another person the right to make that choice for you?

Debra, you are right about men having no say in what women do when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. It's not their choice to do so.

Jennifer, you are right about education being powerful. I learned early on as a child about the birds and the bees.

Support the youth in their decisions to stay celibate or seek birth control until they can make the ultimate decision of having a child when the time is right. Not everyone will have that luxury, but for the mainstream, it's definitely an option. Teaching our youth that sex is fine before commitment is flirting with tragedy. It is in our power to teach them, through actions and words to do what's right. Our kids are seeking morality from adults if the truth be known. Kids need boundaries.

There have been so many comments that seem to say that unwanted pregnancies only happen when women are stupid and don't use birth control. That's not the case. There is still a lot of.....pressure...surrounding the use of birth control. We all know that asking people to completely abstain until they are married doesn't work. We are human, sex is a function of our body. It is pleasurable, and pleasing, and, I think, an important part of a loving and trusting relationship. And that right there is something that I think is missing in the education of our children. I remember in 6th grade getting stuck in a dark room with a teacher and my classmates and having to watch a sex ed video. I remember further conversations about safe sex, stds, pregnancy while I was in high school. I remember my mother giving me a very thorough education about sex. But I don't remember, not one single time, being told that sex was ok. Everything surrounding sex was hushed, it was only to be done between married couples, it was borderline wrong, and if you did it you could end up with all these horrible things. Why? Why do we tell our children this? Then, they get sexual urges and they're convinced they're wrong or bad, and instead of seeking out help, or seeking out birth control, or talking about it to their parents, they end up in the back of a car with some guy from school. Neither knows how to use a condom, because that instruction was never given. Neither has access to birth control pills because they don't know where to go to get them, and they don't know how to do it without their parents finding out. I don't condone sex for high schoolers, but I think an open and honest discussion about everything surrounding sex would make it much easier for young people to get access to the information and protection they need. Furthermore, even using birth control is still frowned upon by many, many people. For example, my mother is a fairly liberal person. We're not a religious family, so we don't have religious reasons for not using birth control. But, when my 19 year old sister went to college last year, and started dating a guy she "loved" (I'm not sure she did or not, or even knew what love really felt like) she approached my mother about going on birth control and my mother wouldn't support her! So, my sister didn't have birth control, and relied on condoms for protection for months and months. She was lucky, she didn't get pregnant, and we found out later that there was a medical condition that might make it impossible for her to ever get pregnant. But what if she had? We don't, yet, live in a society where birth control is totally accepted. Nor do we live in a society where adults are willing to discuss sex honestly. I think these are huge reasons that we still have so many unwanted pregnancies. And that is not even mentioning the number of young women who simply cannot afford birth control. I think it is unfair to penalize women for wanting to enjoy a bodily function that is completely natural. It is even more unfair that men never, ever get stigmatized for helping create an unwanted child. When was the last time you heard a man spoken ill of because he was the father of an aborted child? You never hear anyone saying to him: "well, why were you so stupid as to not use birth control? Why didn't you bother to control yourself and abstain from sex." We don't hear this because men can't be visibly picked out as having created a child, wanted or otherwise. It is the woman who bears the physical signs of pregnancy. Plus, men aren't expected to be responsible for birth control. For 2 1/2 years I dated a guy that I loved. Near the end of the relationship I had to stop using the birth control I had relied on up until then. I made it very clear to my boyfriend that I wouldn't have unprotected sex. Did he abstain? No, he still crawled in bed every night wanting to fool around. Did he go out and buy condoms? No. He didn't see it has his responsibility to make sure I was protected. We need to make birth control an equal responsibility. And whoever mentioned birth control for men, thank you! I would so love to see a pill that caused sterility, or inhibited the production of sperm in men. A pill they could take, that would mess with their hormones, mess up their schedules, force them to constantly remember to take a little pill, and make regular trips to the doctor. A pill that would cause them to gain weight. A pill that allowed them to be confident that they weren't going to father an unwanted child, regardless of how "stupid" the woman is. Thank you. I'm going now, before I get more worked up. Didn't know I had so much to say about this.

Peacefully Evyl, I hope you feel better about your situation you are in now. It's ok that you had so much to say on this subject. I don't believe anyone said anything about anyone being stupid enough to have sex in this thread. But, that's not the point of this. If you had seen and had the opportunity to take the sex ed class at school, didn't they teach sexual responsibility by using the condoms and other forms of birth control? I was raised in the time when sex was only behind closed doors. I was an early developer when I was nine, so my mom felt it necessary to tell me about the birds and bees. Sex was something I decided not to do before marriage and my parents supported me in that decision. Even my now current husband of 37 years supported me in that decision. He had the same moral character as I did, in fact.

Judah, I don't believe that labeling people who subscribe to abortion will solve the problem. It just makes people mad and upset who are in those situations where they feel it's their only option for an unwanted pregnancy, along with others who support their right to do so. Education is the answer, morality is the answer, all things we can do as adults for the children before it reaches that point, is the answer.

I was listening to a clip of news the other day when this subject arose again in the media. Maybe hearing the discussion of who wants to do away with Roe vs. Wade is a good thing. Maybe it will allow parents to discuss the issue with their kids and help them make the decisions that will allow the kids to lead productive lives.

Being divisive isn't the answer to this issue, it's part of the problem, because when people shut out, shut down, and get angry, nothing is solved.

I am enjoying the for the most part respectable debate going on here. One or two people are being rude but overall this is a very good thread and interesting read.

Thank you Angela. Most people are able to communicate without being mean, I'm quite happy to say. I am enjoying the discussion myself!

I haven't had time to read all the comments, but had to respond to this one. Ron said "no life until it exists on its own". Well, I have to point out something obvious that seems to get forgotten. No baby, born or unborn, can exist on its own. It requires care. So, regardless of whether it is being fed via the womb or a bottle or a breast, it still requires parental care for a very long time AFTER birth.

Also, although I am very opposed to abortion as a form of birth control, I do not judge those who have had them. I've had family members and dear friends have abortions. At the time I would have called myself pro-choice. Now I consider myself pro-life. However, it is not my place to judge, but God's. I just see the devastation that the abortion has created in their lives and know that the type of emotional diress they are under could have been prevented.

I also think that it is ridiculous that an underage child can have an abortion without parental consent. Abortion is still a surgical procedure and there isn't any other surgical procedure that an underage child can have without parental consent. So why is this different? Because alot of people are making serious money by performing them.

Again, this is MY opinion.

"He had the same moral character as I did, in fact." It is precisely this sort of looking your nose down upon others who don't have your "moral character" that is divisive.

Not everyone believes in your personal moral code.

You are so right Renita P. A baby is life in the womb or out of it. It requires care from the mother. I missed responding to Ron's comment on that one.

Also, my husband's niece had lupus while pregnant. The doctors recommended she have an abortion, and it was a partial birth abortion, to save her life. I'm sad to say she didn't survive the ravages of lupus, either. But, we aren't to question the path we must walk I suppose when it comes to making those decisions. I would like to think they, mother and baby, have found each other in heaven and are happy.

As for abortion on demand by minors without parental consent, I'm totally against that. Parents should be informed of the situations. In that, I believe, we have gone too far in liberalism. But, again, I think we can avoid situations such as that if we educate our kids and give them boundaries. We have to live our lives in a manner such that the kids will respect us and look up to our values we teach to them.

Thanks again y'all for posting your opinions on this subject. I appreciate you all.

Sorry if I offended you Steph by sharing what I was raised to believe. If you see it as looking down my nose it was never intended in that way. It is your choice to live by your own moral code, not mine. That is called personal choice. But tell me, what is so wrong with my moral code?

although i think its all been said already, i'll weigh in with this: abortion is a woman's choice, and it is never a choice mad joyfully or lightly. it is a last resort and should be no one's business but her own. dammit.

"But tell me, what is so wrong with my moral code?"

It is based on historical times where we did not have birth control and people needed to be in nuclear families to survive.

It's Time We Got Rid of the Term "Premarital Sex"

Steph, I may be older, but I'm not that old! Please!

As a teen the sexual awakening of our society was in full swing. Birth control pills were being given to girls on college campuses. I could have gotten them had I wanted to. I chose not to, based on my moral code. Also, why do we not need nuclear families any longer? Do you believe that our society has no problems because of kids being raised by single parents? I would beg to differ if you do.

Barbara, it is evident that you and I are about the same age. We have probably known girls who were "ostracized" because of pregnancy before marriage. We watched society change the rules and allow people to live together before marriage. We watched and approved of unwed mothers raising their offspring. We relaxed as the "Elizabethan" age turned into the modern one. The changes were many and vast. Women allowed to smoke in public, to women holding public offices. "We've come a long way, Baby"!

I believe that abortion should be allowed for three reasons only: Rape, Incest and health issues for the mother. That is my belief. I know many believe in the "morning after" pill and abortion because it is there and the easiest way out of a situation. I believe that life begins with conception. Personality, looks, the soul, are all incorporated into those two cells that joined to form a human being. I disagree that abortion should be an option open to anyone who decides they just don't want to be pregnant. I have heard so many heartbroken women lament the choice they made to have an abortion. (There are a few, of course, who felt it was right for them.) The woman who opts for an abortion is not giving the baby a choice to live, rather she is dealing out death to an innocent child.

I have a niece who had an abortion, (or maybe two), and now that she is married they are having to adopt because she cannot get pregnant. Her inability to bear a child of her own is a direct result from a "legal" abortion, by a real physician. The dangers of abortion are not spelled out clear enough, or the girls receiving one are too young to understand the consequences.

I don't believe in abortion. Maybe in the rarer cases it is performed, I could understand it better. Like, when it's a choice between the mother's life and the babies. I can't say what I would choose 8in that situation.
However, for the most part, even in rape cases, I don't believe in abortion. I understand how it can bring pain and suffering, but maybe we should put the needs of the life growing inside of us first. That does not mean we have to keep the baby.
The baby did not rape you. It did not ask to be concieved.
In college, when I was in Medical Law& Ethics class, we debated this. Everyone said they thought it was the mothers choice. That is until they saw actual tapes showing the procedures used. It was so disgustingly sad. By the end of the quarter, just about everyone changed their mind. To actually see what happens can really open your eyes.
That is my personal opinion, and this is a free country, so you may choose as you wish. I would recommend actually researching it before you did anything.

I was faced with the options of having an abortion for my third child due to health reasons, and I just couldn't do it. I am only a supporter of abortions when the mother's life is at stake and that must be done in the first trimester.
I will write my article later on my child that the dr wanted to be an abortion.

I was adopted at birth. A smallish town in Mich. in the 50's (or there abouts). The town had a 'home' for "unwed mothers."

I do not believe you will find a woman anywhere who has had an abortion that does not know the exact date - they can picture the child as they would have/could have been, if only for a moment.

I'm a grateful1.

i apologize in advance for the self-promotion, but I am finishing an article now about the upcoming abortion cases in the Supreme Court next Wed (another great reason to keep a conservative Senate at least) entitled "There is no Such Thing As Parial Birth Abortion" - I kid you not, that was what a lawyer stated and it regards the Nebraska abortion laws.

Just to note because of the interest here.

It amazes me how many people will claim to believe in an "all-powerful" deity who yet needs their help to get someone born if Deity wills it. If a soul isn't born of one pregnancy, there is nothing to say that soul can't or won't be born of another. I wish all the religious folks would leave it in church and let women of childbearing age--all women of childbearing age, whether "legally" adults or not--make this difficult decision without their arrogant interference.

Amelia, I hope you didn't think I war arrogant in my thoughts. I would love it if every person in this nation was responsible for their actions. Abortion is a hard thing to do, there is no doubt in that. But, to avert future tragedies, wouldn't it be prudent to stand up for something so the children of tomorrow won't be victims of our own lack of character?

Grateful 1., I was wondering if there was someone out there who was adopted and raised by loving parents in a good home. I hope it was the case for you.

First of all, I wish that the people on both sides of this issue would take a look at the common ground. I strongly believe that we all want every child born to be a wanted and cared for child. If we work to make that happen then abortion will no longer need to be an option. Adoption is a costly, long and involved process. There are more children than adoptive parents. Special need children take longer to place because people want healthy babies. Babies are being abandoned in dumpsters because a young mother does not have the love and support of her family and sees no way out. It is craziness to discuss outlawing abortion until we have the type of society that cares for each child that comes into it. And, finally, no one, and I mean no one, can dare to think they knows what goes on in the mind of a woman who has an abortion unless you have had one yourself. Do not presume that the choice was easy and do not presume that the alternative would be the best for the child. If everyone who presumes to know what is best would step up and find a way to provide health care and a good education and a loving home for every child born now - then maybe this would not need to be an issue in the future.

Rape, Incest, and when the life of the mother is in danger are the only reasons that I see as reasons for abortion. Abortion as birth control when there are so many options available is unfathomable, but then I am a child of the early 60s, so the same gereration as Barbara.

Amelia, I am not advocating the total ban on abortions, but abortion as birth control is not a good solution