A couple of jokes my nephew sent.
Vacuum Cleaner Salesman
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning", said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!!!" said the old lady. 'I haven't got any money!'!! and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the polished young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove "all" traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will "personally" eat the remainder."
"Well now", she said, "I hope you've got a damned good appetite fella, because the electricity was cut off this morning because, like I told you, I don't have any money."
TeachersAccording to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.