Now that you've joined a group that gives you the green-light to be a completely shameless points whore , you may be wondering: How exactly do I maximize my points whoring? Am I doing it correctly?
Let the professional staff at CSPW offer their best advice for fun and effective point whoring! Here we go:
1. Write what you know. What are you doing right this second? Eating a doughnut? There's an article in that, and you needn't spend much time writing it. An article is an article! "What's Your Favorite Flavor of Doughnut?" "Tanka: About a Doughnut." "I Like Doughnuts! Do you?" Try to create a way for the reader to be involved! Invite their comments!
2. Post to as many groups as possible. Make sure you reach everyone. Sure, some people may be annoyed by 50 emails from all the groups, announcing new articles, but they'll sure as heck notice your article! People may comment that you're a points whore for publishing to so many groups, but 1) you already know you're a points whore, and 2) a comment is a comment, baby.
3. Be controversial. This is always good for a million points. Immigration issues used to be a good points whore topic, but I think that one is fading out. Try something sexist or racist instead. Make wild generalizations about groups of people. Single out someone you find annoying.
4. Show some skin. Post a picture of your ass, or someone else's ass. Accuse people of being jealous of your awesome ass. The Dirty Old Men Crew will stop by to admire your ass and confirm that the women are all jealous, and the women will all tell you to get some self-esteem. What all this ass-controversy really means is- you guessed it- POINTS.
5. Misspell and use improper grammar with pride. When people become disgusted with your inability to write or spell, start controversy (see above). Accuse them of being elitists, or carnivores, or... something; or tell them you aint carin' about there fancy-pantz ways. Then refuse to edit your article, because if you wanted some skoolin' you woulda finished the eigth grade.
6. Make sure you connect with everyone. Even if you hate them. Especially if you hate them! More controversy! Connections are connections, after all.
7. Comment everywhere. Even if all you say is, "Yeah." Comments are comments.
8. Play "games." The great thing about "games" is that they're remarkably easy to create, and virtually anyone can participate. Make sure your "game" is very easy. "GAME: Things that you see on TV" or "GAME: Name a city!" Make sure you don't create a game with an obscure subject, with a finite number of answers, like, "GAME: Name your favorite botanist!" The other great thing about games is that they piss other people off, which brings more controversy (see above).
In summary:
- Articles = points.
- Comments = points.
- Connections = points.
- Controversy = points.
- Poor writing skills = points.
- Offensiveness = points.
- Your ass = points.
- Games = points.
- Completely shameless points whoring equals...
POINTS.
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Comments: 236
But mebbe I do. Heh.
Recipes - easy to C&P.
Does one get points for emails? Or just disconnections?
For example, please come read my article:
Additions to People Who Irritate Me...
a) Engage a pimp who will follow you slavishly and make one word comments every time you turn a trick.
b) rate EVERYTHING, but only with a 1 or a 10, depending on your mood. Anything between implies that you have actually read the article and are making a reasoned decision. You must never waste precious time either trying to read or understand anything you see on Gather...that is pointless, in every sense of the word.
c) Most importantly, NEVER write anything of substance; always remember you're here for points and nothing else.. nobody reads "good" stuff and posting it is a terrible waste of a good whore's time.
d) Lastly, feel free to contact me if you feel the need for the advice and counsel of an old pro.
Best wishes for a successful career,
"Call Me Madame" Dame Ruth
In the summary, your last line should read
Completely shameless points whoring equals...Priceless!
Here ya go jackie..
#9 Show some skin redux. Not only will it fire up the horn dogs, but this will inevitably draw out the prudes, feminazis, religious wingnuts and anyone else who thinks they have any business telling others what they should or should not post. This along with Jackie's other suggestions are guaranteed to get you max points with little effort.
Claim credit for someone else's work and then suggest users go search our your stuff for "validation"..Classic PWing..:p
You MUST post at least three replies to every reply from someone else. Not only will this add to your comment total, it will also keep a comment up on the comments page longer, thereby hopefully suckering someone else to reply, so that you can post three MORE replies!
A good points whore would C&P and republish it under their username.
*grin*
In addition I'd like to point out that steels like 1018 and 1020 aren't ideally suited for carburizing. Their alloy content is too low to make them respond well to an oil quench.
I'm a point whore, you're a point whore, wouldn't you like to be a point whore too?
Be a point whore, a giant point whore, be a point whore, a giant point whore...
{singing]
76 Point Whores led the big parade, with a 110 GatherNauts™ right behind.
There were rows and rows of the finest virtuosos, writers of of every shape and kind!
There was Nippy Katz, Travis B. and Juniper
Writing poems, articles, better than before
There were games and fluff and lots of stuff posted here
Each of them, giving us one point more!
At our house, we have one clarinet, and electric guitar, a broken violin, and a trumpet. Nippy will kick in a few instruments, I'm sure. Otherwise, I think we can round up some kazoos at the dollar store.
Maybe you could work in something about posting kitten pictures, too? It would fit well with the "show some skin" (or fur) category.
Devil Woman...any suggestions as to HOW to make them imagine what my "*ss looks like while still collecting points?!?...I'm still kind of a newbie here and can use all the help I can get....be sure though to post your answer as an article so you can get more points that way! ;-)
1a. write about what WE already know like an up to the minute play by play of gather being down. and it helps to publish it every 9 minutes like your morning traffic update. or reporting the news because the rest of us obviously watch tv channels that dont interrupt programs for important news bulletins....i could go on!
Now I just need to have an ass picture taken.
For more of my poetry go to More Poetry by Nippy Katz
Here's what may be the only publicly available picture of Laura Bush's ass: Laura Shakes Hands She's the one on the right shaking hands with the grey haired woman.
; )
Now, who's ass can I stand to look at, let alone take a picture of..?
I am hoping to be a whore like you !!!!!
oh and...heres a 10 for you and a posting.
Ok for the sake of what little sanity I posess...is there anything on this insane Gather deal that explains the dammned point system ?????????????????
LOL I was joking to my girlfriend about becoming a points slut and what do I find when I search "points" but this group!
LOL LOL ok so I'm a points slut/whore whatever! Nice to meet the rest of you guys!