Family Ties that Bind

Our United States were never perfect. Crime has always been here, and much of it has been violent. Look what we did to the Indians. Gangs have also been a part of the United States. Immigrants tended to "gang" together to protect their culture and their "territory". Not all families were being raised with morals. You had drunken parents, parents too busy making an everyday life that they could not give children quality time, and children raising siblings and not able to play and have fun.  What we have added now, is an increase of single parents, two parents working, and stores open 24 hours, seven days a week.

   There is nothing wrong with being a single parent or with both parents working. I have had to raise my children alone for the most part due to my husband working away. It is hard. It is harder than anything that I have done. I tried to keep them busy and active. I was there when they have needed me. I didn't have to work then, so I was home when they went to school and when they came home. Single parents, as well as families that have to have a double income, do not always have that luxury, and I feel it is an important part of rearing children. My husband and I both have to work now, to pay college bills, medical bills, and keep up with the basics of life. I feel a disconnection with my children because I am not here when they go off to school and I am not here when they come off the bus. It is a small thing, I know, but a valid feeling, never the less.

   You may laugh, but I strongly feel that "blue laws" need to be back in affect, for family sake. If stores would close on Sunday, many families can reconnect with their church. I remember the Sundays when we were visiting with my grandmother. Church in the morning, as a family, then everyone would go to her house to the smell of a roast cooking in the oven. Even if you are not a church going family, at least you would have the option to do something as a family. Go on a picnic, make a game day, or watch movies together. Do you remember Sunday Drivers? They were visiting family and friends, or just enjoying the views of their community. On holidays, family time used to be important. Why do we have to shop on the 4^th of July, or on Easter? Those used to be family days. Do we really need to buy clothing and bedding, or even food, on those days?

   My personal belief is that the Government should step in and spend more money on keeping families together. Strong family ties make a stronger country. Subsidize them so a parent can be home to raise a family. This includes the single parent or grandparents raising grand children. Family is family, no matter which way it runs.  Ok, so that isn't going to happen, but it sounds good, doesn't it?

   There are small things we can do as a family to raise a strong family. Look at your budget and cut out what you do not need. Do you need extra movie channels? Do you need satellite or cable? Do you need television? As a family, we enjoy television. We have to have satellite. We do not need movies channels, so "snip". Check your insurance coverage and make sure you have only what you need and are getting the discounts you deserve. Turn off lights when you leave a room. Use coupons. See, there are small ways you can cut on your spending. If you cut enough, and so desire, maybe a parent can be home with the children.

   Some people believe electronics are the downfall of our family. With limited use, there is nothing wrong with them. We are parents. We run the house. We can set limits. My children have learned good things from the television, such as history facts, colors and shapes, and developed interests in archeology and music that they may never have been exposed to otherwise. It also allows me some self time. Game systems have come into play in a positive way in our home. We all play them, so we have competitions. It allowed me to keep track of my son when he was heavily involved in gaming. In groups, they would hang out in one home or another to play XBox or Nintendo, or whatever the game of choice was that day. There was always parental supervision, and we all knew where are children were. I was able to meet his friends this way. It was a big party event every time they got together.

   There seems to be more organized sports and activities now then there was when I was a child. We played most of our sports in the street or an empty field. I have spent many years running children to soccer, baseball, theatre, football, scouting, etc. My theory is to keep them busy and they stay out of trouble. They also grow up to be well-rounded, secure children, and they sleep well at night. This is a disruption to the family. We don't spend a lot of time at home together. Meal times, which should be special times, are very chaotic. To make it a more positive experience, this is the time I can speak to my children one-on-one. Hear what they have to say. Learn what is going on in their lives at school and with friends.

   When we are together as a family, we enjoy "family time". It is rare, so it is special. The board games come out or we make popcorn and watch movies. We may go on a small day trip somewhere. Even if it is just to Wal-Mart to do some shopping, then out to dinner.

  Family is important. Most of us have a family, whether we are married or not. We have parents, grand parents, sisters, brothers, nieces, or nephews. Work to strengthen family ties, and we will strengthen the quality of life in the United States.