The other day I was roaming around in a popular mall in Chennai. At one place there was a stall in front of which a small crowd was standing and watching what was going on. As I happened to look in that direction I saw that a woman was saying something to a young boy of about 14 who seemed to be making calculations on a piece of paper. I had just reached there and joined the onlookers when the woman suddenly gave a hard slap on the boy's face.
"Can't you make such simple calculations?" she shouted at the boy who was obviously shaken.
She went on and on finding fault with the young boy. Within a few minutes I could make out that the boy had been playing some game of calculations that would have won him a prize. The small crowd of on-lookers was standing and watching the fun. Obviously, the boy could not make calculations fast enough and lost the game. What he received was just the opposite of the prize!
The crowd of onlookers felt embarrassed by the woman's behaviour and soon melted away. I also moved away, but could not free my mind of thoughts about the incident for the whole day.
Why did the woman behave like this? Should we have told her then and there that it was stupid of her to treat his son in such shabby manner in a public place? How would she have reacted to such a suggestion? Was our going away from the place the best comment under the circumstances?
It was quite obvious that the woman, while her son was making the calculations and the crowd of onlookers was watching them, felt that she was under a terribly powerful focus light. She did not take it as a sport but as an assessment of her capabilities as a mother. As if the whole crowd was waiting to pass judgment on how well she has trained her son.
And when the son failed her --- when she felt that she had failed as a mother --- she refused to accept this failure and proved by a resounding slap on his son's face that it was the son who was too stupid. She did not stop with the slap but went on cursing him, while the poor fellow stood red-faced, carrying a huge burden of shame.
Why can't a person act with dignity to a failure? What will the son's performance be in the next such test of his skills? Did the woman transmit to his son through the medium of that slap a tendency to put the blame on others?
Parents scarce realize how often they make their children the victims of their false ambitions!
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Comments: 5
I was moved by your story and saddened for the boy. I know how he felt. I have experienced such shabby treatment in the past and I know that it causes the soul to wither!
I think that we owe it to those in our circle of influence (even strangers) to speak up at injustices wherever they are found. The crowd should have shined a light on her behavior thereby preventing her from blaming her son for her feelings of inadequacy.
Great insights!
By the way, where is Chennai?
Thanks for your appreciation. Chennai is what you might be knowing as Madras. It is a metropolitan city in the southernmost state, Tamil Nadu, in India.
Rather than teach her son he was a winner for participating in this contest, no matter the outcome, he has now been assigned "failure" status. This will be a heavy burden for him in life.
Everyone walked away, in shame and embarassment, from this woman and her tirade. I'm not so sure if saying anything to her would have helped.
But, possibly, it would have helped the son if someone had approached him with a congratulation on participating in the contest. ?