I was just going to post this to the fibromyalgia group Fibromyalgia: When you just need to talk about it, but then, I thought that everyone needs to be aware of what happens in the daily life of someone with fibromyalgia.
Today, my husband and I went with some long time friends to a doctor's appointment (for the husband) as the "support team". After the appointment was over they asked us if we would like to go out to lunch at the local golf course restaurant. We answered in the affirmative. It was a bit damp out today, and on days like this I can really feel it in my muscles, so a nice meal by the fireplace was sounding lovely.
As we were pulling into the large parking lot for the restaurant, our friend said that he hoped we could find a parking place not too far away from the entrance. To which I replied that we could use my handicapped parking placard. Immediately, that was refused by both of them, with the comment from our hosts of "Oh, we don't need to use that". Even after my husband reinterated what I had suggested, they still refused. It struck me then that they might think that I have it to circumvent the system or something. To give myself priority for something I don't deserve. Not true.
Of course there are people who have these placards that have and do abuse them. I am not one of them. If I am having a good day, and I know I can shop around in a store that isn't too big, then we just park in a regular spot. But if I am feeling a lot of pain, or I am very tired from not getting enough restorative sleep, I am going to use it.
Before you overzealous disabled parking spot monitors take it upon yourself to berate someone like me who "looks fine" as she gets out of the car and makes her way into a store, let me just impart some information to you:
1. I may be feeling ok when I am on my way into the store, but I am using this disabled parking spot because by the time I am coming back out of the store I am going to be exhausted. Not only that, I could be just a little bit in a "fibro fog", and I surely do not need to hunt around a parking lot for my car, getting more tired in the process.
2. If you are with a friend who has one of these parking placards and they suggest using it, it isn't a black mark on them, or you, to do so. Their doctor has determined that they need the placard. It could be someone with a heart condition, and not fibromyalgia. Would you berate them for not being able to walk long distances without tiring?
Unless you have some super-power that allows you to diagnose someone's illness just by looking at them, how about trying to be a little more tolerant and understanding? Not all of us using disabled placards are low life scambags. Practice kindness. Please.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 12
Then sometimes things are just the way they look; I used to work with a woman whose husband was an amputee, and she would park in the handicap space whenever she did the driving when we would go to lunch. This always made me feel guilty, even writing about it now makes me feel guilty. We couldn't talk her out of it, the sticker was for her husband and not for her to get a good or better parking space.
Thanks for the kind words and empathy everyone. I will join your group Dee. :)
Sometimes the person with the permit is parking to pick up a disabled friend or relative. I used my mother's permit to park close to the entrance to her nursing home when picking her up for appointments. I didn't need it, but it sure made it easier getting her to the car when she insisted on walking.
Another one of my rants is the disabled parking spaces that are downhill and away from the door of the business.
And I am sure you have noticed the cart returns are a block away from the disabled parking spaces.
You are so right, as both myself and my husband are disabled. Not being elderly, though most days we truly feel like it, and since both of us are disabled, we have not a placard, but a handicapped license plate. And still we get "the looks". I wish people would realize that we'd give almost anything to NOT be handicapped. To not be in pain daily.
Good article, Webduck!
Dee, I just subscribed to your group, thanks :)