A few thoughts from my book tour

In 1998, I lost my mother, who I loved dearly and cared for while she was on hospice. My mother was a nurse's aide and cared deeply for other people. She was a loviing mother and wife. She raised 4 daughters and we all loved her verymuch. We often knew she was our angel on earth. She had a wonderful deameanor and many people always told us how loving and kind she was to them. She welcomed any relative, friend or neighbor into our home. She loved to cook even though not very well, she always had wonderful simple meals for our family to sit together and pray over and enjoy and laugh through the evening. We all miss her and cared deeply for her she was truly a loving person who lived a holy life.

In 2003, my father died of a massive heart attack and stroke and was in the hospital for 5 days before he was taken off of life support. After mom died, he wasn't a happy camper. He became bitter, angry and wanted so much attention.
He wasn't in the best of health, however, he had a difficult temperment. We all missed mom and he knew our frequent visits were for her, and after she had passed it became harder and harder to visit such a grumpy old man.
He'd argue and cause such disagreements over anything you did, said, or didn't do right. It was really hard to take our children to visit him because of his language and mistreatment. He did know we loved him, we sent mail, flowers, and we called to say hello when possible. I think we miss the pleasant pepere, not the angry one. He had such great stories and I know he can share them once again with my mom in heaven and his other friends, relatives who he is with. I just am glad he is now at peace.

But, the main reason I read this book was that last year my son , 19 , was killed in a tragic car accident. He was a passenger in the car. He was a wonderful kid, and everyday I wish I could just hold him or could have held him as he passed. I would have known he knew my arrms were around his heart. But instead I just know I don't have regrets, he knew he was loved, cared for and cherished everyday of his life. He had so many wonderful friends, a very loving girlfriend, and a brother, who misses him so much. But most of all his mother and father miss him every minute of everyday. We know our Mother Mary swept him up into her arms and carried him all the way to heaven to be with her and our savior. She knew he was a very good person. He was a victim of a tragic death, without hope to survive but hope to survivie in our hearts forever. He was our hero, our wonderful gentle giant.
I want people to read this book so when a very special loved one has passed that you can say they knew you loved them.

Despite being born to a navy family, with his father always at sea, he was a daddy's boy. Then we divorced and now my ex has almost nothing to do with him. It is sad that children have to suffer for thier parents mistakes, instead of leaning from them. Never related the book to my son until now...my thoughtw were of my grandmother. She was my best friend. I miss her so much. I would love to have just one more day with her. I wish my son could have known her. What a thought provoking book.

It seems that the theme of your book which I think is about the peoples' loss of connection, is quite apropos to our current "season of discontent". The season reflects so many human losses in all domains. The WashPost in June published a study on Social Isolation in America, which shows that it has doubled since 1985. The realistic conclusion is that people have lost their sense of self, their sense of what it means to be humane. Losing a mother, or never having known one like myself and others are some of the contributing factors to our present crisis. I think that technology which promised more efficiency and more free time to connect with the things and people we care about is a social fallacy. And I appreciate its use. But what was once real is now virtual-like what I am doing now. But I would rather be vis-a'-vis, and be able to feel and touch within boundaries.

Hi Mitch, I am a fellow Deis alumni and have been following you ever since the movie 'Tuesdays with Morrie' came out (after I had read the book of course) and simultaneously Jack Lemmon was supposed to speak at Deis (but got sick). I can't wait to read "for one more day", especially now that I see you are actively commenting here- what a great way to reach an author! I am even more excited now- guess I have to bump the book to the top of the 'to read' pile so that I can be an active reader. Thanks for being a great inspiration to look up to (there are not that many Deis alums to be as proud of). Hopefully you'll see some more comments from me here with questions for you… ~Candice

Bazz Gray that was a great comment about how the virtual world is affecting the realities of people and their realtionships. I think it is the biggest problem that inflicts the world today. This idividualistic mindset that has arisen within American culture is destroying the world around us. Few people realize the harm that can spawn out of a lack of connection with each other. The emotion that this world so desperately needs and so foolishly lacks is compassion. 30,000 men, woman, and children, mostly children, die every single day of starvation. I have not seen a statistic recently, but if I remeber correctly sixty-percent of the American population some 175 million people are overweight in the United States. Corporations such as Safeway, Target, and King Soopers throw out literally hundreds of pounds of food a day in a single store. I know because I use to work for some of those companies, and I carried the enormous garbage bags filled to the brim with every kind of product from bread to cookies and fruit all because they were not "fresh" anymore. So, why do we waste resources like that instead of giving them to the billions who need it. It is that individualistic mindset, that lack of compassion or a connection with the rest of humanity. The problem extends far beyond people in the United States not having as many friends. That statistic represents how ignorant the privledged in the world have become for if we cannot connect with those people that we see everyday, talk to, eat with. How can we possibly connect with those suffering children in Africa or Indonesia? We can't, but the misunderstanding is that this is not our problem. However, I have a response to that because by choosing to do nothing we are effectively murdering 30,000 innocent people a day. This is our responsibility because we have been given the oppurtunity for one reason or other to be put into a situation that we can help. We must help because I promise you this, if we do not do something, nobody will. The result, the numbers will rise, and suffering will continue to thrive in these stoic societies we have created. We are not connected with the world, none of us because we do not live in poverty like a billion of our brothers and sisters around the world. So, the only question that remains is will you help, or will you ignore the problem and let it progress? Get out improve the world and improve yourself.

P.S. I realize that this was extremely off-topic but bazz grays comment got me started, and I am very passionate about this belief so much so I am nearly 3/4ths a way through a novel discussing it. However, I initially read this article because my best friend has recently had to suffer through a difficult divorce, and what I found was two grown adults insensative to their own son's emotions. I look around at the world today and I see, as of yesterday, 300 million insensative Americans ignoring their starving children around the world the same way my friends parents ignored his needs.

P.S. of the P.S. Anyways, I have not read the new book, though I did read "Tuesday's with Morrie" some very wise ideaologies in that book it has become part of my trio of philosphy. The other two, just in case anyone is interested, are "Ishmael" and "Jesus Before Christianity." No, neither of them have anything to do with religion, though their titles may hint at such a theme.

Hi Mitch, I was at your reading in Seattle on the 16th. I'd like to thank you for a great book. One thing that stands out for me from "for one more day" is how Charley was ashamed of his mother because of the jobs she had. He didn't think they were good enough. It isn't your job that defines the person you are it's the good you do for the people in your life. Take care!

Hi Mitch,
There is an article on Darwin by Adam Gopnik in this week's (Oct 23) New Yorker that will help you, and every body else who reads it, to become a Secular Humanist and know that all that's out there is oblivion.
The only other logical consideration is that because infinity is a very long time indeed and the second that we die is also the whole of time then perhaps we'll all know everything that there is to know one 'second' after our last living one - or nothing at all and I'm betting on the latter. Take care, Roy.

Mitch,
This was a great book to read! My 15 year old son asked me if I was reading a depressing book. I told him that some of it was very sad, but I felt it would be a great book for him to read. (He likes to read)

I am very fortunate to come from a loving family that did not have to endure a split among my parents. Your book however made me recall just how much I loved my parents. My father passed away at 60 and my mother at 64. I have always felt like I was "short changed" and it disturbes me when I hear other adults and kids talk badly about their parents. I am never to shy to express my thoughts on how incredibly lucky they are to still have their parents around.

I feel very comfortable with the fact that my parents knew how much I loved them and I aspire to have the same fantastic love between my children and my husband. Thank you for a touching story to help us all recognize just how wonderful our family members are; and remind us to share with them, while their still with us, just how wonderful they are.

Thank you!
Gina

My mom died thiry years ago when I was twenty-one. Initially I really noticed the difference home life was like without a woman being part of the family (it was just my dad, brother and I).

Thirty years later I wish I had the opportunity to speak with my mom. Now we know that my mother was bipolar, back then people said she was neurotic. As a young adult and young man it was hard to become close to her with her sudden mood changes, especially when you didn't know why.

I have cyclical depression but lead a normal life with medication. While I talk with mom in my thoughts I do wish she was around to tell her I now understand. I'm sure we would have been a lot closer. Ironically, through for me a mild illness, I've come to really understand my mother.

I wanted to thank you for your book! I received it for my birthday and it was so appropriate due to the fact my father died on my birthday 11 years ago. It was sort of a roll reversal of the characters on your for me. I would give anything to have one more day with him. There is so much I want to tell him but above all, I would love to tell him goodbye. I am still caught up in that emotion of it all even now. Until I became a parent, I never understood what that truly meant and the sacrafices you make for your own children. I suppose that while we are trying to live our lives, we forget about the time with our family. Funny how Einstein nailed it when he said, " time is relative. " Figurative and Literal! *LOL!*

I think there is another angle to this book. After reading the book I found myself wishing for that one more day with my my mother. My mother died of lung cancer six years ago. She was diagnosed in November and died the following June. My wife and I still to this day say to each other "If only Nanny were her to talk to about this one" or thinking "How would Nanny handle this." I took this from the angle of what would we have to say to each other today after the passage of the last six years. The spiritual and after life have always been of interest and I am seriously hoping that the way the book plays out is the way our spirits move in the after-life.

I don't know if I'm such a good person to comment on your book; I don't consider myself to be "normal." But I really relate to your character Charley.

So far, "for one more day" is proving to be a touchstone for me. I'm up to page seventy-five.

I bought the book last weekend while my sweetie and I went to B&N to spend or Gather gift certificates. It was the first one I looked for, and one of four that I purchased.

I started reading another book; "The Dharma Bums" by Kerouac. Being at a mid-life point, I anticipate finding a lot of clarity from that book as I chew the cud of my past paths, digest my self and see what there is to see.

But that reading was starting slow and this article sparked me into picking up "for one more day."

I'm glad I did.

Apparently, I will have to echo what you are hearing a lot of; that this book is powerfully heartwarming, especially to adult children of divorce.

I relate a lot to Charley/Chick; in some obverse ways. My parents divorced when I was three; my mother was corny, strong, optimistic, humble, wise and a good talker/listener (you could tell that she cared); and the step-father I gained at the age of twelve was quite similar to the father Charley had had.

From the age of three to the age of twelve I was the man of the house, growing up with a sister three years older than I, and a mother who was a "good" woman. We often had to stave off the inaccuracy of traditional assumptions regarding divorcee's. My mother was smart, witty and of good, strong character. She raised my older sister and I very much the way your Posey raised Charley, at least from what I've read so far.

Things changed dramatically when I was twelve and she married for the second and last time. Before the end of the first year of the new marriage my step-father disparaged me as a "momma's boy" and has continued that attitude ever since. Personally, without a father in my life for those nine years, I don't see where I had had much choice.

Character controversies and storms have raged in me for decades as I've tried to come to grips with the issues spawned by these familial conflicts. Your descriptions of the thoughts and feelings as Charley drank and contemplated suicide could have been plucked from my own mind and soul. On another similar note; my only true suicide attempt was belayed by the appearance of a "ghost." I published a piece about it, this past May: "A Dead Friend Saved My Life".

My mother passed away eleven years ago, taken too early (age fifty-nine) by breast cancer. My step-father and I had a few years of closeness, but the old issues came back and we are now estranged. It's sad, but I have no weapons and no desire to engage in bitter fights or tolerate cutting remarks.

I see your statement regarding the "yearning for a mother and father together" as just scratching the surface. From my experiences, it's more a yearning for a family where feelings of being loved, liked, cared about and wanted are shared among all the members.

So far, "for one more day" is giving me a chance to re-experience the best and most important times of my childhood; the times when my mother and I were close. I can almost feel the warmth of her smiles as your words remind me of the good person she was trying to help me become, and her shining jewels of wisdom are rising up through my muck.

Thank you for writing this book.

--

Hi Mitch,
I enjoyed myself so much at your signing in Los Angeles I wrote a story about it. Thank you for the inspiration and the great storytelling.

Dawn

My husband and I have just finished your wonderful book. I most appreciated the moment when Chick's mother advised him to forgive himself. Many people would love to have one more day with a loved one to make up for all the things they left unsaid or undone. You book tells a truth. Forgive yourself and go on. For those whose loved ones are still here, think. Think before you turn yourself away and in the end wish for one more day. This work touched my husband tremendously. Like Chick, he lost his father at an early age. They had faught the night before on the usual kinds of issues that dads and boys have. His father died in his sleep and so my husband never got to say he was sorry. He cant forgive himself for it.
I admire your work so much. You are very focused with your writing. While you are spare with your words as was Hemingway, your writing is not terse. It is refreshing to read a thoughtful writer who can touch a heart without being maudlin. Thankyou for being available to us at Gather so that we may share our thoughts.

I am so glad that I read Dawn R's article about going to your book reading at Starbuck's. If I hadn't then I might not have done a search on Gather looking for you. This book that is being discussed sounds just like my kind of book.

I lost my Mother when I was 15 and she was 42. I am now 44 and I still miss her terribly. I had horrible guilt for many, many years because I was in my troubled teen years, plus I had just been raped which of course devastated my Mother and it doesn't make sense, but I blamed myself for my Mother being so depressed when she died. She died unexpectedly due to malpractice so I never got to tell her goodbye or how much I truly loved her.

Anyway, I will be buying your book as soon as I am feeling a bit better and when my daughter is better from tonsillitis. I am so looking forward to reading it and I wish I could curl up in bed with it tonight.
Here is to you and your wonderful accomplishments that you share with the world!
I hope that you have many fufilling years to come.

Great book, if I can spend one more day to my lost loved ones, I would like to tell them how much i love them. I lost my grandma when I was 12 yo and didnt have the chance to tell her how much I love her. This book reminds me of my grandma and my fave aunt I lost. Though I can't turn back the clock, I always pray that they can hear me telling them how much I love them.

I just finished the book and wanted to stop back in and comment.

It was excellent!! It is no surprise to me that the book is a best seller. Congratulations, Mitch. Good Job!

While I enjoyed the book, I marvelled more about your marketing juggernaut.
I dream of be in your writer's shoes one day...

Mr. Albom,

Your words are an inspiration to us all. Best Wishes! Keep up the good work, I wish you could sequeul Tuesday's with Morrie and this book. I read them in an afternoon, and find myself disappointed that I must close the book.

God Bless you,

Charlie

I finished your book, "for one more day" last week. My daughter purchased it for me as a Christmas gift. My parents are still living, my dad is in his early nineties and my mom is in her eighties. I was raised in a loving home with both parents being there for me. I am blessed. Your book and Chick's story was quite moving to me. As kids, we don't always understand what is happening in our parent's lives and we need to trust that there is always a reason behind actions or inactions. I think the story brought that out in so many ways. I also have a question for you. The back of the book shows your mom and a photo of you being the mummy. Was this coincidence to the story as shared by Charley, or was this artistic license? Just wondering! Thank you for your heart to bring us such touching stories. They are a gift.