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December 10, 2005

Its a Miracle We Ever Got Married

October 14, 2006 09:55 AM EDT

views: 68 | rating: 9.7/10 (18 votes) | comments: 24

This morning, my husband and I were laughing about some of the things that happened in our early days of courting one another. It is truly a miracle that we ended up married to one another. I think you'll see what I mean as I share our story.

It was the summer of 1976, and I was working in the kitchen of the local hospital before returning to college in the fall. One day this incredibly handsome orderly came in the kitchen to get some glasses to take upstairs for the patients to use. My heart started racing and my face got all red. And I didn't even know this person. He looked at me and smiled this gorgeous smile, and said "Hello." It was all I could do to answer back.

After he left the kitchen, I began asking some of my co-workers who he was, and nobody really knew. But from that moment on, I had my eyes open for him constantly. We became accustomed to seeing one another each day as he would come and get the glasses to take upstairs. One day we talked a bit. We found out that our fathers worked for the same furniture store. Both of their names were Bob. We also found out that we were both studying similar things in college....psychology and sociology. On this particular day, as he was leaving the kitchen, he shut the door, and then opened it again long enough to just stick his head back in. And he said, "By the way, are you married?" I giggled and told him "no."

Well, after this, I knew he had an interest, and I began stalking the poor guy. I would park my car next to his every single day, in the hopes we would "accidentally" run into each other again. I would leave my headlights on purposely and then suddenly "remember" at about the time it was for him to leave work. And we would meet in the parking lot and I would smile and say hello. I found out his parent's phone number and I would dial it just to see if he would answer so I could hear his voice. (Of course, his father usually answered and called me an SOB when I would not say anything).

Still, he didn't ask me out. And then one day, one of my co-workers informed me that she had been out with him. Oh, boy...was I jealous! But I didn't show it. The two of them dated two or three times. And then she came in one day and told me that she had told him she didn't want to date him anymore because they were different religions. But she also told him, "If you want to date somebody who REALLY likes you a lot, you should ask Cheryl." His response was "Who's that?" (evidently I'm not a very good stalker). So she told him, and then he remembered.

One evening at work, he called me and asked me if I would like to go see a movie with him THAT NIGHT. I pretended to check my schedule and I acted cool and said "sure." I was a wreck! For one thing, I didn't get off of work until 6:30 and he was picking me up at 7:30. That gave me exactly one hour to get home, shower, and change. I have never worked so fast in my life. It was like someone had given me a shot of adrenaline.

I finally finished, got home, and got ready. But I was late. Fortunately , so was he. (and this should have been a clue that timeliness is not a virtue of his). But on this night, I was glad he was late. When he came to the door, he looked so handsome. I swear, he looked just like or even better than Robert Redford used to look back then. His tan, blonde hair, and gorgeous smile just turned me into putty. He opened the car door for me....(the first man to ever do that), and I was very impressed.

We went to see the movie "Gator" with Burt Reynolds, and I remember nothing about that movie. The only thing I was aware of was the way my hand felt in his hand. After the movie, we went for a drive on a long dirt road. Mr Smooth showed me where he lived and some of his relatives. It went something like this: "Here's where Aunt Bessie lives. And over there is where my cousin Joe lives. Up on the hill there is my house. And right down here, by the river is a good place to park." I remember chuckling and wondering how long he had rehearsed that bit. But I found it to be cute, and played along. Well, we talked for a really long time. We talked and kissed, and I stopped his wandering hands from wandering too far.

I was surprised that by the time I got home it was 3am. Time had flown by! My parents were none too happy, but I was on cloud nine. I called my best friend as soon as I got home and told her...."I'm going to marry that man one day."

And I did. Three years later. The night before our wedding, we exchanged cars. Why? Because I hated his car, and he hated my car....and this was a guarantee that the other would show up to the wedding. ( I had always had dreams of being left at the altar). We had a few wedding day mishaps. First of all, I nearly got hit by a car crossing the street. The next thing was that our flower girl did not show up to the wedding in time to put the flowers down. My father showed up to the wedding drunk, and staggered me down the aisle. I couldn't get my husband's ring on his finger, so he had to do it himself. Other than that, and the fact that it poured the rain, it was a perfect day.

That was twenty-eight years ago, and its been a long road. Some days I'm glad we got married and some days I'm not. There were clues back then as to some of his character flaws that should have been red flags to me...but in my love state, I didn't see them.

Here are a few of them. On our second date, we went to the park for the afternoon. And then he asked me if I would like to go and get a bite to eat. I was all for it. Well, I thought restaurant. But instead, he took me to his house and made me a ham sandwich. (Red flag: Cheapskate)

One evening I was at his house and we were watching TV. He looked into my eyes very sweetly and said, "Do you eat a lot of pies and cakes?" (Okay, so I was about thirty pounds overweight...but very curvy). (Red flag: NOT very couth)

Anyway, through the ups and downs, we're still here. He still isn't very couth. And he is a bit of a cheapskate. Timeliness is not a virtue of his, for certain. But I must love him. And if you asked him, I have a feeling he might have a few red flags he could tell you about me.