Hang Up

you knew
since you always know
and it wasn't a pause
or a figment of my paranoia
it was a moment
we both shared
within split seconds
this longing won't stop
and the fear of giving
more than enough
is relavent
and i'm forgetting myself
again
and it's scaring
the shit out of me
if i need to lose myself
in the wonder of something
much larger than myself
it's not happening
at the pace we've set
taking it one day at a time
and the hours draw blood
and i watch each drop
and each question makes
me droop from exhaustion
where do i go from here
this place of wondering
whether we should wander
from each other
doesn't timing play
the roles we can't conquer
ourselves
or do we play with pretty lies
and fake passes
that come from fickle hearts
i'm not sure and won't be
for now
can't seem to wake
from this state of confusion
you're not closer than the next
glimmer of home for my heart
so can you allow for my mind
to meet something larger
than me?