(never be) part of me--song lyrics

good poem and very well stated.I enjoyed reading it.

That is emotionally deep. ery profound and from the heart.

This was a helluva song, Cynth, with a really catchy bittersweet Sondheim-esque hook, "you'll never be a part of me." The finality of that brutal refrain contrasts with all the ethereal hopes and powerful fantasies her married lover provides the speaker; and really the contrast between the 'happy talk' or "blowing smoke rings up one's ass" to put it another way, and the coldblooded reality that common sense and her deeper emotions keep insisting on relentlessly provide the spark and inner genius of this very wise and grief-stricken lyric. I liked this one a lot, but then again I am a big fan of your songs, Cynth, and think you have a shot at the big time (at least I'd use you as a librettist if I am ever on the West Coast doing cabaret type theatre again--producing, writing and directing that is-- and you want to accept a very specific writing comission.)
I hope you never think I just blow smoke rings, too--that is to say, offer empty praise instead of speaking to the heart of your poem. Your last email to me sounded like you've taken some hard knocks, sweeetheart, but that doesn't mean that you should dismiss out of hand those who really focus on your art and appreciate you in a genuine author-author way, taking time out to respond fully and enthusiastically to the feelings your lyric invoke in us. There are people that don't even read our stuff on Gather and always right, LOVED IT! or what a great poem! just to get the quid pro quo so you'll read their stuff, and I understand that behaviour, which at least is affirming even though in a sloppy lazy way, what Fritz Perls of 'gestalt therapy' called "the chickenshit of ordinary lives and mediocre minds." But hey, that's better than the naysayers who live to find the flaw in your work, and seem constitutionally incapable of praising anything (since they really are so cut off from their own true selves they don't know such kneejerk narcissistic high priest Critic posturing is just a defense mechanism to preserve and protect their own unhealthy egoes.
Cynth, Believe in your talent. Take it from a published, produced writer and theatre professional: You've got "it." You now have to keep writing while you learn how to promote yourself. Meanwhile, on these Web 2.0 blogs, take my advice and "stash the best and trash the rest." That speaks to criticism, virtual friends, your own work that you're happy or unhappy with. You are the creator--the center--the Sun; we are just satellites coming in and out of orbit with you.
And I can still hear your songs in my head.

Beautiful, Cyn, I really like this, and am looking forward to reading more of your work :)

This is beautiful, Cynth...almost Byronesque in its pathos and lyricism...and strangely uplifting, inspite of its underlying theme of despair...I have a feeling, once yoy started writing this, the words just came pouring out...isn't that a grand feeling?...definitely one of yr best efforts...sublime

Wow! Thanks. And John, let me know when you wish to collaborate. That would be most welcome.

Beautiful song and very good poetry.
I like the way it rhymes.

Cynth.... This song lyric seems to come from a different place than your other work. It is very true to life and bittersweet. I can tell you put a great deal of effort and heart into it. To be honest there is not much to criticize here and is very poetic in its feel and sway. In my mind's ear it retains a distinctive natural melody. Excellent effort!

Cynthia, this is awesome and moves along not only like a song, but fine aabbcc rhyming verse. There is a sadness in the push and pull of relationship, but also a resoluteness of decision. Very nice.

lovely, it would be nice if you got your song lyrics published one day.

Cynthia....I really liked this lyric a lot, and could hear the music in my head. The words also spoke to my heart.

It was beautiful, Cynthia. It touched me. I know the angst and other emotions behind these words. Very well done.

Loved the song, Cynth, loved the couplet release. The whole piece speaks to our heart trying to convince our head to do what is right. That is about as universal as it gets. I particularly liked the A,A stanza structure here with A,B,C line rhymes. It really lent to listener interest hooking us for the six stanzas.

Good job. Hope you find a home for "(Never Be) A Part of Me". It was a pleasure to read.

Oh, my goodness, Cynthia! This is so, so true to my world, you just wouldn't believe it.

Cynthia,
I am loving this and it is still playing in my head. Everything John said is true, Dear. This is one hellova song.

Hi Cynth,

Many of our talented colleagues here have spoken, but if you still need my opinion, I must echo their general feeling that this is a good piece of lyrics. Since I spent decades listening to country and western lyrics, I feel the first stanza sounds a bit clunky and less musical than the entire song... please re-write that and try to use simpler words though that may be tough since your thinking is creatively stratospheric!

It was a pleasure reading it and I hope you return to the lyrics to make them more accessible to folks who may not trip of longer lines of high sounding words.

Cheerz!

If it's all the same, Max, I think I'll keep it as it is. My soul wrote these words, and after many years I've learned that if I'm not true to my soul I suffer greatly. Besides, I'm not wishing this to be a pop song.

My voice is unique, and I'm okay with that.

This is wonderful, Cynthia. I can hear the rhythm in my head. Let me know where I can buy a cd.

Namaste

This is wonderful