Gather Mail Manners & Such

Hooray Donald! I think most of us have experienced the same thing you are speaking about. And what is worse is to get duplicate after duplicate of the same message! Thanks for speaking out. I, too, received the email you sent but I was not offended as I know where you are coming from.

May I symbolically kiss the hem of your robes? You are so right. I HATE being spammed, solicited, and importuned on Gather.

*bowing and kissing hem of robes* It's because you're so popular, your grace. ;)

Nonetheless, i do agree...it's bad enough i get the same exact e-mail from dozens of people i don't know in my personal e-mail inbox. i don't expect to get it at Gather and is actually a turnoff and waste of time. If a person wants something read, post it in an article. If it looks like it's spam...most people aren't even going to respond favorably to it because it might be a scam (in referring to some of the e-mails i get).

I've been getting those repetitous e-mails too...glad I have a special e-mail address for Gather now...at least I can hit the delete button..I did receive the one from you and when I responded that I never sent you anything your response was about this issue...thanks

Way to go.

Donald--Maybe you need to change your e-mail settings? I've never intentionally spammed you but I know Gather sends me automatic e-mails whenever someone on my friends list publishes an article. Just a suggestion.

I am competely with you!

I too received Donald's e-mail and understood what he meant. I agree and as Thorny 1 said, I nodded and deleted, since I understood.

I love Spam fried with mac & cheese but hate it in my email.

I do have to admit when I first got your mass email about not mass emailing you, I was annoyed for half a moment because it bugged me to be put into the same classification as those that do mass emailing on a regular basis. But then I realized where you were coming from and knew that I'd probably want to do the same thing in your shoes. So I deleted the email and went along my happy little gather way.

I wish I could add something witty and interesting but it seems Clay did it for me....no spam for this kiddo...too expensive and besides I'd rather have steak! :-D

I'm just removing those folks that do that from my contacts. It is so rude. If I want to read your article, I will! No one reads my articles and you don't see me emailing everyone on my list - hell, I hardly ever even invite people to connect!

Audrey.....this si something that has been festering & growing here on Gather for some time. I did what I did to draw attention to the problem & perhaps get enough people involved to get it settled...!

Donald, if you want to solve a problem, solve it. Whining and lashing out at people is not constructive. "Drawing attention to" is passive.. .it is not a solution.

Lisa is correct .. change your settings if you don't want all the mail. This is within your control.

And the next time you have a problem with something on Gather, email support.gather.com and ask for help. That's what they do.

One word of advice... DELETE, DELETE, DELETE... oops, that's three... but you know what I mean.

Lynn.......I am not sure where you think your authority to lecture me comes from but rest assured that my mail settings are where I wnat them, perhaps I did contact Gather Support or not....that is between me & them...but since you are in the minority here I will ignore you...!

I think perhaps the reason that "mass emails" is such a problem to some people is because they've incorrectly set their email preferences to receive all notifications from all groups and contacts. That alone sets of a deluge of emails that is hard to manage. Combine that with the PERSONAL appeals that some members make to their friends and connections, and this becomes a flood of Noahtic proportions.

Just a little while ago, I seem to recall receiving a mass mail from a certain person bragging about the HUGE number of connections this person had accumulated. I presume that this email was a proud accomplishment, that a huge number of people had been connected to this person.

I think that joining all groups and connecting to all people might be counterproductive. First, the whole point of being "connected" to someone is so that there is some element of your experience and theirs is shared. I personally don't solicit very many connections with people, because I prefer to get to know them via writing and comments. However, I rarely turn down a connection request because someone has made the effort, and I'd prefer to see why this person wants to connect with me.

As a result, my connection number isn't burdensome. I don't receive notifications of EVERYTHING from EVERYONE, nor do I have group notifications set for most of my groups. Therefore, I don't necessarily view getting the occassional email from a connection or acquaintance as a burden.

It can be very frustrating to pour your heart and soul into a piece of work and have it ignored by your over-connected "friends". Sometimes I have resorted to sending a request to my connections to read something that is special to me. I'd like to think I don't abuse the privilege, but it seems that others feel differently.

A connection can be viewed as a count of your popularity or simply how you've chosen to network. I prefer quality over quantity, and would rather have a small network of people who interest me, and I them, than a tremendous network of people who don't care what they publish to whom, and don't read or comment either.

Another opinion.

I share your opinion, Eric.

Donald, I wasn't going to leave a comment here, until I saw your rude response to Lynn. The tone of this article is insulting, and you ask what her authority is to lecture you?

For the record, I disconnected from you long ago because of all the mass mailings I received from you.

Donald,
Absolutely on the spam issue! Anyone who sends me spam is almost always blocked. And I'm with Eric on requiring quality connections.

I seldom seek a connection (for those whom I have so contacted, consider yourself flattered) and I don't accept connections from people whose names I don't recognize from comments on my posts or my connections posts nor from those whose names I do recognize but haven't provided a profile in their namespace. Furthermore, I go through my entire "articles for me" list almost every day and while doing so remove connections that have proven uninteresting.

I have life to live, I've never been popular, and I have no interest in being popular.

I think it's like the "Professor Syndrome" -- each professor thinks that his class is the only one that you have. Or each e-mailer thinks that they're the most important. Gather may have tried to rein this problem in, but it's only made it more difficult to log in (manually now). Plus I actually changed my settings back so I would get more mail! I keep my Hotmail most of the time on "Exclusive," so I can pretty much handle anything more. But it does help to adjust those Gather settings. Maybe we should tell them to give us a little fine-tuning ability in this department? Still I'd urge everyone to not worry about what they send me, as long as it's nice and respectful. And isn't that what we all want anyway -- a little Golden Rule and less drool?

Quill work? What is quill work, I never heard of it before.

I made a comment about "netiquette" several weeks ago, and I never mentioned any names about those people who are RUDE to others. If I receive a spam email, immediately I become insulted, because I know the sender of that isn't interested in being my friend-no-they are on their own agenda. I do however invite one person at a time to my online groups, if they are connections that I may want, or I think they have something of value to add to our group and our lives. Gave you a ten on this Donald because you are making a point about something that needs to be said. Even then some people will not learn from it...

I barely bother to read my Gather inbox anymore since it's so cluttered with "read my featured article" crap. And no, I don't ever read your "featured article" when you email me about it, so don't bother.

I don't like those self-promoting SPAM messages either. I was a little upset when I got your email about "stop sending me those messages" because I have never sent anything like that to tell people to read my article, and your PM seemed like a SPAM to me at that time. But you explained that you didn't mean to send it to me, so I just forgot about it. I think there's something wrong with the PM system. Otherwise why would I get your PM that was intended for someone else? Who knows. Oh well. Just hit the delete button.

I think there appears to be some confusion regarding these mail settings. Perhaps it is I that suffers from the confusion. My PERSONAL email at HOME is no longer bombarded with hundreds of emails per day because I changed my settings. It's the one HERE that I'm having the trouble with.

I don't see a way to turn off mass emails for it.

Yes, I got Donald's anti spam, spam mail. I chuckled at his use of irony to get his point across. Had I not "gotten the joke," I admittedly might have been annoyed. Because, yes, mass mails telling me to read someone's article do annoy me. In fact, I'm far less inclined to read something sent to me that way. If I am perusing you or the recent articles in my groups and run across it, I will likely read it. But I could've read someone else's article, even yours, in the time it took me to open, read and delete your spam. My time is soooooo limited! I hate wasting it!

So please, add me to the rather nots on the spam list. Thanx.

And Donald, rude or not, I thought you were right. I hope I remembered to tell you so.

I also received your spam email and I had not sent anything. I do know that wehn I set my mail settings at first I ahd "notice when a new memeber joins, notice when such and such publishes......
so check your email settings to see cause it looks like a lot of us weren't even thinking of you

the only emal I send is to invite people to my groups, and as of today, I have 2 groups.

Well, I seem to be one of the few who doesn't mind in the least receiving such an email from someone I'm connected to - it's an efficient way of communicating. On rare occasions, I've also sent a mass email to my connections and don't feel in the least embarrassed by it. And thus I'm with you on this, Eric.

Donald, do you remember that when you first joined Gather a few months you sent out mass emails to your contacts asking people to read your articles? I replied by saying that people do not like that.

I am new here so I havent been spammed yet. Thank God.

Donald, regarding the Amazon Shorts contest, all entries are published by the Amazon Shorts Administration, not the author. The only way a person has of knowing who wrote an entry is by looking at the copyrighted name at the end of the entry. So people on Gather have no way of knowing who has even submitted a contest entry, short of looking at each entry in the Amazon Shorts group, then scroling to the bottom of the story, OTHER than by mass email to contacts.

For those who see my position on this topic, thanks for your support.

For those who believe that receiving an email from a connection is a bother, I'm sure that the originator of that email would appreciate hearing that from you so that you and that person can disconnect.

The whole point of having connections on Gather is to build a community within the community of people who share your interests or who say and do things that interest you.

Sure, there are people who abuse this system, sending unwelcome messages regarding things other than the main purpose of Gather -- to publish and read.

For those of you who are all riled about receiving the occasional message from one of your connections, I ask: "Why connect?"

If you prefer automated messages to ones penned by people who have chosen you or you have chosen them, haven't you missed the point?

The automated messages generated by Gather are SPAM. They don't care whether or not you are interested in a topic. They execute their programming and send you notice after notice, regardless of your interest or lack thereof.

The messages that come from your connections, however, are those sent by humans, the people who inhabit this virtual place. To treat the human messages as SPAM and the automated messages as acceptable boggles my mind.

I reiterate my earlier point: Quality over Quantity. If you're just connecting for the points and to receive automated notifications, I think the word "connection" has lost its meaning for you.

Kathryn....I do indeed remember & I took your advice to heart..!

I think that a number of commenters here are confusing e-mail with Gather mail -- I believe the latter is what Donald is referring to as far as being Spammed, although of course the notification shows up in one's regular e-mail box. Anyway, I can understand an occasional special request, but not the continual "please read this" solicitations.

I also get quite a few notices asking me to read this or that article. I would not do that, so I don't expect it to be done to me.

There are some valid points in this article. Being on the fringe of Gather, I do not get many emails. This article makes us aware of certain things that are going on in this community. It also makes us aware that different people have different natures and we should be responsive to the sensitivities of others. The article may not have been written with the intention to lecture the community about their mailing manners, but out of sheer annoyance of too many and repetitive intrusions.

However, some of the comments are much more enlightening about the mail manners than the article itself. Most important, I find the tone of Eric L. is very respectful and the points that he has stated are reasonable. "The whole point of having connections on Gather is to build a community within the community of people who share your interests or who say and do things that interest you."

When we opt for a large number of connections, we have to be aware of its inherent advantages and disadvantages. Moreover, there are remedies provided within the system for abuses arising out of such connections.

Good topic, and I disagree with those who think Donald was harsh when he sent out his email. Of course, I wasn't one of the offenders; I can barely keep up with Gather and don't have time to send out emails, unless it's to respond to one.

Aha! I just ignore mass emails, and when I received your note, got a bit miffed--since I've NEVER sent a mass email to my contacts (never had anything to say that I thought was important/urgent enought to warrant that kind of thing).

Of course, the tone of your email seemed harsh, and misplaced (as I'd never sent anythign). By the way, you never got back to me when I politely noted that it seemed you'd sent your note to the wrong person....

If you'd have put a link to this article in the email, that would have solved things. :-) Now THIS I understand.

Dan....I never got your note....!

I got the email...my first thought was 'Thanks for sharing this with those of us who DON'T spam, yet are annoyed by it - now, at least I know someone addressed the issue with the offenders.' I also found the irony to be quite amusing, which then lead me to wonder just how many people would 'get it'...I'm guessen "not as many as I'd hoped." THANKS Donald...for at least making the attempt... ; )

I thihnk most of us feel the same way. I have also sent numerous e-mails to contacts, especially certain ones, about not sending such e-mails and that such e-mails actually detract me from reading thier stories. However, I still seem to get several a day.

After seeing some of the pictures you recently published on Gather, I don't see how you have the right to complain about anything anywhere at anytime. You are repulsive to the max.

Clare~
I can honestly say I have found architecture to be fascinating, beautiful and even admittedly, sometimes odd...but NEVER have I found it repulsive. Am I MISSING something here?

Wendy.......she is spouting off about some pix I posted that were taken in an OB-GYN OR in Moscow...seems that some peiople cannot handle reality or respect other cultures...they can only imprint their cultiures & mores upon others.....pathetic as that outlook is...!

More power too them everyone is entitled to opinions. I just hope that they somehow find away to enjoy life's gifts within their sheltered existance.
But, as long as I am still allowed to experience the wonderful culture that you bring to my world on a daily basis, I really could care less...I may be stuck inside this stick built box most of the time, but no one can ever say, I don't get to experience and live life to its fullest! Thank you kind sir, for being one of the ones who help me to do so...

I didn't get your email Don. But, I'm not a spammer anyway. It's my feeling if an article is good I won't need to email my contacts and ask them to read it. Most of them already do...which I another reason I'm happy with my 39 contacts :))

I did lose one this week because of a political article...ah, you win some and you lose some. And, most of the times the ones you lose weren't worthy of you in the first place!! LMAO!!

Donald - For my Gather-Mail I look at the title and who it is from. There are some folks I enjoy reading and look at the title to see if I want to check for a link. As I do not get on gather everyday I hear your plea for less mail. Before even beginning I delete most messages as I do not solicite readers via mass mailings. I do not get upset about it just use the check box and make the obvious dross vanish.

If I get a mass mailing from someone who comments on my articles I click on their name and look for an article title of theirs that appeals to me and I suspect many others do the same.

I like to use Groups to read articles of interest on any given day.

Now - I am off to see the OB-GYN Russian images.

Anita